Men: would you be okay with your partner sexting and talking to another man daily?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if you’re brave enough?

[Mike3569]

Normally no. My only exception would be if that was how she earned her income. I know its not really right to say but if she's open about it and explained it, I would likely be supportive, or if she really convinced me I would possibly help her with her work.

[Asker]

That’s fair enough

[MrOracle]

No, obviously not. And I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate it if I was doing the same with another girl.

[Asker]

I agree. So why do many guys who claim they’re in a serious relationship do this?

[MrOracle]

Because they're selfish and self-centered, but also because it's not in men's nature to be monogamous for long periods of time.

[Asker]

So he’s been asking me out for ages, I’ve finally agreed, since then after initiating texts daily I’ve not heard much from him, do you think this means it was just a a game to him for me to agree to meet?

[Asker]

Him initiating texts daily I meant (not me)

[MrOracle]

It could be just a game to him, but it could also be that he's recently gotten really busy and is stressed and doesn't have as much free time as he did. Perhaps I'm projecting, but that happens to me from time to time, especially being a small business owner who has to wear about a dozen different hats (worker, owner, accountant, system designer, equipment buyer, warehouse manager, shipping manager, vehicle maintenance, etc.).

[PondyPand]

That would be cheating to me and my partner so God no.

[Red_Arrow]

Long go I had partners that I even lived with, that I was in a sexual relationship with, but not committed. That kind of arrangement would not have bothered me as long as it was only sexting and talking.

[Asker]

This is what I think. If they’re sexting otters it’s not a committed relationship.

[Asker]

*others

[SolifeNolife]

Sure, I'd be cool with it.

[Asker]

Because...

[SolifeNolife]

I'm just not a very positive person. If that's what they enjoy doing who am I to stop them. They chose to be with me for the experiences that I can give, if I can't give an experience they thrive for I'd rather them get it from someone else instead of changing myself. I don't believe that one person can fulfill all a person's needs, it'd be like expecting a can opener to work like a multitool. Just as the can opener can only do so many things same goes for a person.

[GuildLegend435]

not a chance in hell. ;D

she wanna do that, well i hope the door dont hit her on the ass on her way out!

[Hoss1981]

Not sure how I'd feel. If she was upfront about and not physically seeing the guy. Problem be ok with it.

[Hoot3210]

Definitely not that is for sure cheating

[Asker]

Yeah this is precisely what I’m trying to understand.

[jogger1613]

My wife texts my best friend during football games. They talk about football. I'm fine with it.

[ShannonSaxon66]

No but not because of jealousy. There is no reason for it. If I am not satisfied and or she isn't we need to move on. Or fix it.

[Asker]

I agree. But I think that it jealousy, it triggers insecurity because the sexting partner makes the other feel inadequate.

[Phoenix98]

No I wouldn't.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

No, should i be ok whit that?

[Asker]

No. It’s simply a question.

[teaseme666]

Yes you should be ok with it.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

@teaseme666 why?

[Alexandrubaschet08]

i whas just asking

[Asker]

It’s not for anyone to say what another should or shouldn’t do providing nobody is being hurt.

[MackToday]

Nope, I catch her doing that shit and she can find another guy, I'm gone.

[Asker]

I agree. So why do some guys do this?

[MackToday]

Some guys are dumb thugs.

[MannMitAntworten]

That would be bizarre of me to do this or her if we are involved together. Not being a “poly” guy this would not be okay and I would wonder why.

[Asker]

Exactly

[worldscolide]

No.. I'm not OK with that..

[Asker]

Okay. Why aren’t you okay with that? I’d feel the same but I just want to hear other people’s points of view.

[worldscolide]

It's sharing your sexuakity with someone other than your partner, while not as severe as actually going and fucking someone else, it would still kill me inside, make me feel like I was not enough..

[worldscolide]

Wow autocorrect sucks.. Sexuality

[Asker]

I agree, that’s what feels natural to me too. If my sex life had become boring I’d look for new ways to spice it up with them personally, because honestly, if I found myself wanting to sext with someone I’m definitely going to be curious about doing the deed. And I’d never do that, so sexting wouldn’t make any sense to me personally.

[Asker]

To me, I either work with my partner to spice it up, or move on. There’s no sexting.

[Asker]

I’m just wondering if guys who don’t mind this are also okay with their partners doing it too. Because there’s a guy I really liked who I have some history with who wants to take me out burn I’ve just found out he's done this, so now I’m wondering whether to approach him about it.

[worldscolide]

Same here.. Absolutely right.

[worldscolide]

Maybe they have some kind of cuckolding fetish..

[Asker]

Yeah that was my thought too.

[worldscolide]

It's like a mild form of when you have guys that will date adult stars, prostitutes, escorts, or sex workers.. They get off on it.

[Asker]

Yeah that makes sense. I personally don’t understand it as to me that just seems like a lack of commitment..

[worldscolide]

Same and just gross

[Thatsamazing]

Would depend I guess.

[Asker]

On what exactly?

[Thatsamazing]

Who he is and what kind of stuff they're saying to each other.

[Asker]

What do you mean? He is a friend who was texting me every day being very flirty whilst he was apparently in a relationship (mostly long distance). I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t sext her personally.

[Thatsamazing]

Well I don't know your situation but if a guy is being flirty and sexting you, it's because he's attracted to you and wants to have sex with you, probably. Pretty simple. Him being in a relationship with this other girl doesn't really have anything to do with his possible feelings or attraction for you.

[Asker]

I’m aware being in a relationship doesn’t determine feelings. But the key is in how it’s managed with actions. All those actions tell me is that if he were with me and met another that he liked more, instead of telling me he didn’t want to carry on, he’d lead me on and likely cheat. How is that beneficial to me? Why would I trust my heart with someone on that level, regardless of attraction? I’m not interested in anything casual and he knows it as I’ve made it clear.

[Thatsamazing]

Okay, so... if that's actually how you feel then why are you telling me/us about it? Why aren't you telling him?

[Asker]

I’m interested to see what information I can gather around it before speaking with him. Some may have experienced this themselves and have insights which may be relatable etc.

[SAVAGE222]

I don't mind

[Asker]

Okay. Why not?

[SAVAGE222]

It's her life. She can do whatever she wants whom I'm to stop her. I'm just a boyfriend not her father. Lol

[Asker]

So where exactly are you drawing the line with that statement? Is it an open relationship so she can go ahead and have sex with him too?

[Asker]

Setting healthy boundaries does not mean someone is a parental figure in any way, shape or form.

[SAVAGE222]

Look it's beyond your control. You can't do anything. I don't think that much.. till she physically with me I will take care of her. I don't believe in fairytale. Lol

[Asker]

You’re not making sense. Either you’re confused or manipulative. It’s not about control, it’s about setting healthy boundaries for yourself and if that person isn’t on the same page then you don’t engage in any of that behaviour together. Very simple. No games, just respect.

[SAVAGE222]

😂😂😂 it's just that I don't expect anything from my girl. Bkoz I'm not loyal to my girl how can I expect from her? Am I wrong?

[Asker]

And you’ve just proven exactly what I knew which is why I questioned if you only wanted an open relationship but you avoided answering it directly. If all you want is casual sex then that’s fine, by don’t be toxic by blaming others by using phrases like “THEM wanting a fairytale” etc. Have the balls to be upfront with who you are and what you want instead of trying to manipulatively place the blame on others - it’s weak and people can’t reapect that. That’s what ruins people. If you’re not responsible enough at this point then you shouldn’t be engaging with others in these ways until your mindset has matured enough to not cause harm to others or yourself. I’m not saying you’re a bad person, but it’s actions that define us. It’s good that you don’t expect that of her if you can’t give it. But she’s not at fault of you haven’t been honest and blamed it on her wanting a fairytale etc. Many women and men have successful relationships - they’re not fairytales, they just don’t use each other.

[SAVAGE222]

Don't judge me so fast. Lol she knows I'm not committed with her. But she in hope I'm damn honest. So stop your lecture there only.

[Asker]

It’s just the impression I got from the words you chose to express.

[SAVAGE222]

Well dear I don't believe in playing with feelings just for pussy. It's not my style. I'm honest asshole.

[Jersey2]

No. Certainly not. And for the guys saying it’s okay, they are pathetic or just using her V.

[Asker]

My thoughts too.

[Asker]

Just looking for something casual only I meant. But I’m interested in hearing others thoughts as we each see the world differently.

[oldermale]

As long as there's no contact between them and be kinda hot to secretly read his messages without him knowing.

[Asker]

Really? So you’re honestly okay with another man seeing intimate pictures of your partner and sharif intimate thoughts? No judgement, just curious.

[Asker]

*sharing What if an emotional connection developed?

[oldermale]

As long as it's not affecting my life and if she told me about it during sex would be kinda dirty but horny.

[Asker]

Okay so you think sexting is nothing beyond a little thrill? Not any form of emotional connection? Would it be okay if she didn’t tell you about it?

[oldermale]

Personally I enjoy sexting, turning others on and being turned on also. My ex did it behind my back. I think it's just hot horny fun for my own pleasure and if I know the girl is masturbating too then just hotter. Done it together with ex fuckbud but never said I was reading the messages, we just enjoyed the tease.

[Asker]

Hmm okay. They do say people who have been cheated on tend to enjoy this sort of thing so there may be some interesting psychology to explore there. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate it. Would you say you’re not looking for anything serious anymore too?

[oldermale]

Very true... And no, not looking for serious relationship..

[Cellestial]

She surely can.. after we break up first

[myy_username]

Yes I would be totally ok, especially if she also fucks him...

[ChiPaPa]

That's not brave, that's retarded.
Consider her ass dumped.

[Asker]

Nobody was saying that choice is brave.

[COMMODOREII]

Nope sorry