Why is it easier for you to orgasm during masturbation (by yourself) than during sexual relations with a partner?

[0112358]

Voted F.

Generally speaking, people masturbate because they're horny and want to orgasm. But sex is a multi person activity, and it's not generally driven by 'both people become horny at the same time'. It's not uncommon for couples to have sex because one was horny, and the other is happy to go along with it. But if they don't tend to orgasm quickly, and weren't particularly feeling a desire to have an orgasm, they might simply have sex till their partner is done, and then move on to cuddling or whatever.

Basically, you'd need to separate the data into 'orgasm when desired during masturbation' and 'orgasm when desired during sex' if you want to assume it's some mechanical or communication issue.

[MrOracle]

I think having direct feedback and control of what you like is obviously always a factor, but I also think that being able to focus on yourself, and not having to worry about the other person's pleasure, can make things easier. Of course, it can also be less fulfilling and satisfying, but that's a different discussion.

[kaylaS91]

I find it slightly easier during self play than with my boyfriend but I still prefer the latter.

Orgasms by myself are always a guarantee but they’re smaller, shorter and pretty concentrated in a small area. Whereas orgasms with my boyfriend are more complex (like if I’m tired/stressed, my mind will wander there and it’ll be tougher for him to get me to cum). However, if he does manage to make it happen, which he usually does, the orgasms are much stronger, last longer, and are like a whole body experience.

[CarpetDenim]

For me, it isn’t. It’s actually pretty difficult to orgasm on my own, but with my partner it’s very easy.

[RaindropSweetie]

There are so many things that can play into this. A woman's orgasm takes place mostly in her mind. If she's getting herself off, not only is she doing what she knows she likes to her body she also has the advantage of controlling her mind. If she turns off the orgasm build up in her head, a man has no chance whatsoever!

Next, a woman's age/development may alter her ability to orgasm. Some younger women may have to focus and work much harder to reach an orgasm. That makes a man's job harder. I didn't start having easier orgasms until after 25. My dad's girlfriend said she couldn't orgasm during sex until after 25 as well. After 25 my body became incredible sensitive compared to before! Nipple play used to feel like nothing to me, now it drives me wild. Same with oral. Etc.

It could be because women get off on the control they have, they can control the pace and intensity, they can make it happen. Many men would agree on their end when masturbating.

With the right conditions and partner, I can orgasm just as easily whether it's sex with my partner or masturbating. Does it really matter if we are all having fun anyways?

[Vencam]

I'd say it's the same for guys as far as I know. There's a saying in my area that could be translated as "no hand's righter then your right hand" (I'm butchering some grammar in translation, bear with me). Whether the guys I know just have incredible technique or if it is just the girls that have too little, they usually are able to make the self orgasm quicker then their partner can.
If course, how ENJOYABLE that is is a whole different topic

[Aakash_Hangargi]

May be its your thoughts while you are on your own you have the wildest thoughts that enhances your orgasm, with a partner on your is more of excersie you might be thing n number of things instead of sensualising the act like why does his nipple look like that what's wrong with his feet etc and he might not know your fantasies guide him to your gspot

[Joe_Barbaro]

Because the vast majority of guys are horrible in bed. The only reason that isn't general knowledge is the fact that a lot of women out there don't even know what an actual orgasm feels like, so as long as they receive any amount of pleasure they believe the sex is good. Ask any woman who ever had actually good sex, masturbation can't even come close (no pun intended)

[andy530]

You have many years of experience and practice figuring out just what kind of touch you like where and when and how much. You have an instant feedback loop too when mastrubating, if something doesn’t feel good you can inediatly adjust and make a change so that it feels better. This makes it far easier to orgasm quickly and reliably when mastrubating than when a partner is involved and they don’t know how it’s feeling for you and the communication to them is slower and less reliable.

[Purpleronnie]

Pretty simple really , masturbation means that you are in direct control of stimulation and the repetitive motion needed to help you orgasm. With sexual intercourse even with great communication your not in control of it

[sagevalentineee]

In masturbation, you're alone, you're single-mindedly focusing on yourself, and the goal is 100% to orgasm. I don't think orgasm is always the goal in sex anyway. When I have sex it's not always for me, obviously I want to do it, but sometimes it's for my boyfriend so I'm absorbed and I'm not focused on me. Other times, my boyfriend is totally focused on me, where it still takes longer to orgasm then by myself, but there's something different about it, it's much, much better than alone.

[Dargil]

Because hand masturbation is continuously interactive. I can make immediate adjustments to bring about ejaculation sooner. Visual and physical stimulation and arousal in s sexual setting leads to a more satisfying orgasm with a larger payload.

[dantheman1118]

I think sex is great. It's a good time. But masturbation is probably King. You can it your best spots over and over with no bullshit in between. You master the techniques and I can orgasm every time. I don't do that when I have sex

[Apope16]

I can orgasm with a partner but just differently. I dont think any partner can give me a handjob to orgasm. The way that I stroke my frenulum is a specific touching rub that cannot be duplicated.

[Girther10]

Once again, “studies show”... ? What studies? I read about these things all the time and I’ve never heard of any such study.

[i1T2daty]

the best way i've experienced is a combination of both. i love her holding her inner labia apart so there ia ample room for my tongue

[KellyKatz510]

I used to be this way. Ultimately it was all in my head. My own comfort level and the pressure of climaxing had lot to do with it. Now my skills are cumming in second place to my husbands... see what I did there 🤣🤣🤣

[Aravind6307]

Because only you know what will make YOU cum, not your man. He just thinks he knows, trust me he doesn't.

And if you are feeling shy to ask him to the things that want to be done. Be happy masturbating alone then.

[midnightmoon05]

Easier with a partner who pays attention to my needs. And prefer that way.

[Morgan8823]

Because women I think are much more familiar with areas that stimulate and arouse themselves , and they also can mentally go to a place mentally that allows them to be connected deeply with there own energy

[dwelshman]

Typically people are more relaxed during masturbation making it easier to climax, where sex usually gets people stimulated which naturally makes it more difficult to orgasm.

[Teamawkward]

I can't relax the same way when I'm with someone else as when I'm alone. This makes it hard to orgasm when I'm with someone else, especially if it's someone I'm really into.

[es20490446e]

Expectations, putting pressures on yourself that don't need to exist.

[Cage4]

Because that is what masturbation does to you. And it's not the case with people who do not masturbate

[Hyper2]

I think some women during sex will focus more on pleasing their partner rather than themselves. Which is why they don't reach the big O as often.

[masseylacey906]

At times it's hard to communicate what I want from my partner... he works a lot... He is a truck driver so he puts a lot of hours n... So at times I just do it myself

[Gedaria]

The out come is the same., But I find it more fun, having some else to do it and to play with...

[Baseballbarry]

I orgasm a lot quicker with a partner actually, although I imagine guys are easier than girls so may e guys just don't know how to as well as you do?

[Slim57]

Because it feels better, but with certain positions it can feel just as good and even if it doesn't I still prefer it

[Goahead76]

I'm weird but I find masturbation absolutely boring & therefore don't even bother with it. I would much prefer the real thing, vastly better in my opinion. I think a big part of it is I get off when I'm getting them off, just the way I'm wired.

[Plitty-Tank]

It is more easy to experience while my wiener is inside of a vagina.

[Redblaze209]

Maybe because you don't have to explain to yourself how to satisfy you

[Anonymous]

Two reasons. First, I can apply exactly the right pressure to make it happen. Second, I don't have to worry about the pleasure of my partner if I cum too quickly.

[Lunatic1]

Usually it is because you know what feels good, and are not comfortable telling your partner what you want.

[insecurepunk]

Vulnerability
Nerves
Masturbation=complete control
No audience to stress you

[Anonymous]

Does penis size affect ability to cum? Like is big better than average

[ActiveSh1tter]

Because female orgasms are like opinions. Only mine is important and I don't care if she has one.

[Avicenna]

Maybe they are more relaxed?

[BoxySama]

Cuz they are not having sex with me 😎

[Tunasub]

Listen.. nobody does it like me...

[Ellie-V]

You know you better than anyone else does

[BALDY7979]

A love organisms let have one together

[LuWe22]

It is not easier

[KittyMilk]

All in the head