Friends with benefits (31M) ghosted me (20F)?

[Lovequinnsalinger]

I met this guy on tinder last winter and we exchanged numbers and social media. He would often pop up asking me who I was fucking and I would usually reply in the same manner as he was talking to me in.

I have no problem with FWB's situations at all and one day when I was bored and horny I decided to meet him so we could have sex. We did the deed, he kissed me at the door and I left. Few days later he told me that he had met someone and was going to put his energies into her and I was cool with it. Two days later he came back and shortly after that we had sex again and he told me he thought it was the best he'd ever had.

We've never had a friendly communication, when he would talk to me he'd make me feel like some sort of prostitute and keep asking me to sleep with his friends to which I kept declining. I told him I had started seeing someone and he mocked me before asking if we would be breaking it off for good, I gave in and went to see him.

That was the last time we slept with each other, after that I broke things off with him saying I'd met someone who spoke to me like a human being.

Recently he popped back up and we had plans to meet. But on one day in particular he told me he'd let me know when to come and I told him I was going to meet someone else. He accused me of replacing him and called me cold but I thought he was joking. We were meant to meet on the Friday and when I asked what time he told me he'd replaced me and I accused him of being petty. I told him to ditch her and shag me instead and he said "but I really want her pussy." I told him he was a snake and we didn't talk until he text me two days later wanting to meet. I declined because he said he was going out soon and I wouldn't make it. The following day I asked if he was free and he ignored me, then posted to his IG story so I knew it was deliberate on his part. I haven't heard from him since but his been watching my IG stories.

Pretty sure his ghosted me and I'm seething.

Thoughts?

[OlderAndWiser]

1. What silly, stupid games you two are playing!

2. He has disrespected you from the beginning and you keep coming back for more. By your actions, you have told him that it is okay to disrespect you. If you want to continue being a slave to his dick, carry on as you have; eventually, he'll come around and fuck you again. If you think that you deserve to be treated better, then stop acting like his dick is the king.

[Lovequinnsalinger]

Look I know how it sounds extremely toxic but I was honestly just treating him the way he was treating me. I have very low self-esteem anyway and maybe on some level I don't know what it is to be treated any better. I just wanted him to treat me like a person, the rest of the stuff I could handle because I don't have feelings for him. Its my ego that's been torn to shreds x

[OlderAndWiser]

Treating him the same way he treats you just tells him that you are okay with it. Do you settle for FWB's because you think you don't deserve a real boyfriend?

[Lovequinnsalinger]

Maybe, every time I've tried to have a relationship with men they only want me for a friends with benefits. It sure as hell feels like I'm not good enough to be anyone's Girlfriend. I'm confident enough to know that I'm a good looking girl and men only ever seen to want to bed me. Their never interested in getting to know the real me x

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe you are meeting the wrong guys. How do you usually meet them? School? Clubs and bars?

[Lovequinnsalinger]

Literally clubs, bars. In the mall, out and about. And they all without fail make me feel like I'm a blow up doll or some sort of sex toy. Some are even patient enough to try and pursue me until they get what they want but I just know what their up to. Its depressing and making me lose trust in men x

[OlderAndWiser]

How soon after meeting them do you have sex?

[Lovequinnsalinger]

I normally try to wait so I'd say 2nd date but atm I've been stalling on meeting up with them because I know that their only wanting one thing from me x

[OlderAndWiser]

Girls who want a LTR usually don't have sex on a first or second date. They may wait 2-3 or even 6 months before getting intimate with their partner.

[Lovequinnsalinger]

I've tried that so many times and they always end up leaving. One I spoke to for two months and he ghosted recently. I don't even really think he was that into me to begin with x

[OlderAndWiser]

Everyone goes through a series of disappointments before they find a good companion.

[Lovequinnsalinger]

I know, but the whole ordeal is making me give up. I can't trust anyone atm and it's soul destroying because I want to find someone who will love me for who I am and not see me as some sort of toy x

[OlderAndWiser]

My dear, that is what most of us want. When the right guy arrives, you will be glad that you didn't settle for anyone else.

[Lovequinnsalinger]

Thank you so much, he popped up an hour ago asking me to meet him and I've ignored him x

[OlderAndWiser]

Good luck!

[Lovequinnsalinger]

Thanks x

[LVbrando85]

If he ghosted you, that means he's gone. Its a good thing that he left. This guy is 31 and still acting like he's 19. You can do much better if your patient and know your worth. From what I've read in the comments, it sounds like you're attractive. Why are you settling for such behavior?

[Avicenna]

Yeah. This was really dysfunctional.

[Jersey2]

I thought friends with benefits was just a warm dick for a woman or a warm hole for a guy. Just find a new one which should be easy for a woman.

[dthomas89]

friends with benefits, is a relationship, without a label

It's like saying "i want to fuck you but not have the responsibilities, of a "relationship"

In other words, you're both saying to each other "fuck you"

[Proxyz123]

Yeah I think he was angry that one time you ditched the plan