Sexual Relationships
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Boyfriend and his degrading “jokes” ?

I love him but he is making me insecure. He always makes sexual jokes about other girls, some of them are really nasty (like he points out a girl and tells how would he f*** that girl). He also makes fun of my body and compares me to the women in porns and tells i would be so sexy if my breast look like them. I told him they are not real then he compared me with his old partners.
He shatters my self esteem and when i talk to him about this he blames me for being “too sensitive” and “not able to take a joke”, “doesn’t have a sense of humour”. He makes fun of things that i can not change. I mean what can i do about it? It doesn’t end here. Im thinking of getting a licence and he told me that i dont have the skills to be a good driver. I got mad and told him he couldnt know that and he keeps insisting that i have to “accept my deficiencies like ” he accepts his own”. It really annoys me how immature and mean he is. He keeps saying stuff like that then he says he was just joking i can't handle a joke, Im the prettiest girl to him and im smart and capable of everything. After hearing all that stuff this means nothing to me. I feel like he’s slurring over after i get mad, and mean what he said.
Im not a shallow person but im way out of his league and it would be great if he appreciated me. I always motivate him and compliment him. I love every inch of him but i get this in return.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • He said it himself , "he accepts his own" deficiencies.

    He puts you down because he knows he is not good enough for you.

    He may not realize this but his low self esteem is showing itself.
    He fears his lack of self worth so if he makes. you feel worthless then he will feel better about himself and feel less out of place around you.

    Unfortunately, this is not something he will get over with you. The damage is done and even if he changed unfortunstely he has already done damage to your relationship and more. importantly to you.


    By the way you describe it, he sounds like a bully and not worth your effort. He need to fix himself, because you can not fix him or change him and you deserve better.


    Think it may be time for you to move on.

    • Thank you much for your great opinion! I sometimes question his consciousness. I can’t decide if he is doing this on purpose or he doesn't understand he hurts me and he is just stupid. I have invested in him too much I wanna try one last time. Should i talk to him in a serious manner and talk about my feelings or act like i do not care, despise him etc?

    • I would never advise to 'not communicate'. Relationships take work, and marriage takes even more work. Both take communication. Now, I want to note, FEAR is a real thing. Being alone is usually pretty terrifying! But let's play what if: What if you break up with him? You will be alone, you will be sad and you should take time to re-adjust to being single. How long? That's only something you can answer. Ok so What if you then find someone who treats you right? What if you find someone who never puts you down? What if you find someone who loves themself. What if that person bring you into their happiness bubble and treats you as an equal? Now I make these statements and what you may see is people will reply, "bullshit, that doesn't exist!" Well people that say that are responding from a defensive pained and hurt standpoint. People. that have been mistreated tend to lump all things into one. If your man cheated on you and hurt you then you are more likely to mistrust and hate men in general. It takes real power to put blame where it belongs, and that can be on ONLY the one person who cheated. But wait, 4 guys have cheated on me! So fuck men they are cheating whores! NO those 4 guys are pieces of shit, not men in general and now if you have the same problem over and over it is time to look in the mirror and figure out that now you have some blame for picking the same type of guy each time. (Not you obviously, just an example) Ok back to the what if game. What if you invested a bunch of time in him and what if you want to give him another chance? Ok, I am all for second chances but what do you hope to accomplish? You have said you have told him how you feel before and he tells you you are too sensitive. So that leads me to believe he doesn't care. Being afraid of being alone I get, but YOU will NOT change him. You can, however, give him a wakeup call. The choice is yours but communication is a necessity.

    • Bottling stuff up builds resentment and animosity and will end in a mess someday.

    • Show All

  • If he really does that i would say dump him immediately as...
    first of all he don't respect you...
    second he don't respect you at all... i mean that is more important than any other stuff...
    WITH LOVE COMES THE RESPECT from heart... and if he can't then he don't deserve you..
    Also there is a lot of difference between jokes & being disrespectful and he is disrespectful to you , you should not at all tolerate this...
    See don't let his shitty opinion affect your self esteem...
    keep this in mind you are beautiful & no one has a right to comment on your body...

    • Thank you so much. I wish he was as mature as you

    • thank you 😊 , i wish you sort things soon with him & i think you deserve better than this...

Most Helpful Girls

  • Break up with this motherfucker!!!
    I'm sorry love if I sound too harsh, but I had this kind of boyfriend before. He won't listen whatever you do or say. If you stay things are gonna get worse. Please learn from my mistake, these things aren't "jokes" it's just body shaming, disrespect and abuse :(
    I don't know how you look but even if you are fucking Shrek noone can say this kind of things and criticize you!!!

    • Thank you :)

    • Ur welcome :)

  • So why are you still with this piece of human trash?
    The worst thing is how you allow him to disrespect you like that. Like why are you tolerating him?
    I don't think much of people who have to bring down others in order to make themselves feel better. They are pathetic.

    • he is immature and childish. he is a broken person so i always try to walk soft but this turned me toxic over time too. He didn't use to be like that i guess i still believe he will change. I can't decide whether he does this on purpose or not knowingly that it hurts me.

    • Eira if you think he will change test it then tell him clearly if he doesn't change his behaviour you will leave him so if really don't want to loose you he will try at least if doesn't anyways go ahead and dump him in this way at least you won't regret giving him a chance

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Honestly after reading that my first question is why are you dating such an asshole? i honestly think you should leave him, he doesn't respect you or support you. I know you love him but he's not good for you and you can do SO MUCH BETTER, please don't be like those other stupid girls thinking their boyfriend would change because that is never going to happen.

  • Dumb him seriously. You deserve so much better. He doesn't care about you, if he did he wouldn't have dismissed you and your feelings when you tried to talk to him.

  • What exactly do you love about him?
    You are describing a person who has no respect for you plus he verbally attacks your physical self. If he was a friend no way would you remain friends with them. I'm sorry he sounds like a complete asshole.

  • It makes sense that you're out of his league and he acts like this. It's a controlling strategy. He knows you're too good for him, and wants you to feel miserable so that he can be more confident. Those are no jokes, and you're definitely not sensitive.

    • Thank you, you made me feel better

  • Stop trolling. Any girl with brains would dump this guy so I know you are either trolling or have no brains. Which is it?

    • Eira99 is a troll! Get with it guys and stop feeding these trolls.

  • leave him rn.

  • Relationships are meant to be with a significant other who will help you grow and build as a person. Not deteriorate and harm you.

    Be single for a bit. It's pretty nice to have your own space to figure some things out.

  • He sounds awful. 😓✌️💜

  • If you’re way out of his league then dump him. You can find something who isn’t a self absorbed pig.

  • This is definitely abuse. I had a very similar experience with my ex boyfriend and it only got worse the longer I was with him. I know how much it hurts, but I would advise you to leave him.

    • a strong one you are...

    • It definitely wasn’t easy to leave

  • If I were you, I would dump is sorry sarcastic unappreciative ass! And go home or wherever you need to go to get away from this jerk.
    He should be happy to have a woman like you. Then find a guy who will appreciate you and how you are and be focused on YOU.
    If you need help, get some counseling, they work wonders.
    But dump the loser dude. He is NOT worth it. You deserve a lot better in life.
    Good luck, please think of YOURSELF first.

  • You should aim demeaning jokes about him and see how he reacts, if he reacts negatively, tell him that's how you feel after he does it. If he doesn't stop, you'll have to dump him.

  • He doesn't sound like a very good comedian or boyfriend. If he keeps demeaning you after you tell him how bad it makes you feel, you should re-evaluate the relationship.

  • That is NOT ok! U need to leave him now

  • Yes.. move on.. asap.. love yourself.. enjoy life.

  • they don't change back, I tried that with an ex, the relationship started off amazing and turned into a rocky road. The best way is out, it's only gonna keep getting more toxic.

    • Exactly what i have been going through! Deep down i know that but i didn’t want to believe

    • ya that's love for you, relationship is turning into sand in your hands, so you try to make a sandbox, anything to save it, all it takes is a gust of wind and that sand is no longer in the box, or blows away til there's no sand left. The relationship was already dead/toxic and I was holding onto something that wasn't there anymore

  • Find a new boyfriend and let this stupid clown pay the consequences.

  • You have two choices-
    1. Give him a taste of his own medicine. If he's degrading you then return the favour. By this way, he'll realize his mistake. And then leave him.
    2. Tell him that what's wrong with him and that you want a boyfriend not an asshole in your life. So either he should change himself for good or get out of your life.

    In both cases, just leave him. He doesn't deserve you.

  • There's a difference between playfully teasing and being a straight up asshole. This dude sounds like the latter. Ditch him like an unwanted child in the woods.

  • "I love him but he is making me insecure."
    I quit reading here. NO ONE can MAKE you ANYTHING. YOU get to CHOOSE.
    Or are you saying that you've given power over your thoughts and feelings to something or someone else?
    Don't say you love a guy on one hand and hate what he says on another. Your duty in dating in the first place is to make a determination as to their worthiness, whether it's a match. Most simply will not be. NEXT

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