Sexual Relationships
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Fixated on other women's breasts and feeling insecure?

Hi all,

I've been in a vulnerable state of mind and hope to seek some advice. I'm seeing big breasts/"normal sized" breasts being celebrated on social media, on TV shows (e. g. Game of Thrones), in advertisements; but small/flat chested breasts not really. Myself, I've got really small boobs and I'm a short girl as well. I had a talk with my boyfriend, who made a very general statement: "I think boobs are beautiful things", which has made me extremely insecure considering I barely have any and he admitted that he finds boobs on other women beautiful as well. I got a little pissed at him as well for even stating that.. am I exaggerating? Do all men think the same as him?

We cannot watch TV shows together because there always seem to be nudity in there, mostly women who have full breasts. I noticed that when I'm Netflixing by myself I tend to be fixated on women's breasts and how envious I am of them.. I get immediately down and bash myself up for having tiny boobs. I'm really at a loss on what to do and how to deal with these extremely insecure feelings. :(

p. s.: surgery is not an option due to a skin condition I have that causes keloids if there are cuts in my skin
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Most Helpful Girls

  • You really need to move past this. It's such a shallow thing to fixate on. You're wasting your life here, to put it bluntly. You have one life. Be happy. If you're not, you won't have the mental and emotional resolve you need when shit really hits the fan (which it eventually does.)

    You probably have an advantage of being thin/lean.
    You won't be as likely to have back problems.
    You can buy pretty 'ornamental' bras and not care about function and support. (There are push-ups, demis, bralettes - take advantage of them. Also, dazzle the eye with colour. It destracts.)
    You can probably be braless and not worry about seeming indecent (layers help.)

    Are you a glass half full type of person? While you might be born that way, you can change your thinking. The brain has remarkable plasticity.

    Get off the social media you're probably on (prescription: no more Insta.) Unfollow all those sexy girls you're idolizing and idealizing. Focus on words, knowledge, thinking, sharing. Not external beauty. Get on a superficiality diet.

    And check out mistixs's profile. She writes about this all the time. You can crowd-source positive opinions and support there, with the male comments (not that that should matter, or you should need that to validate who you are or how you see yourself.) Most men don't care much. They're very flexible. They're just happy to have some to play with at all. Look at yourself their their eyes. Females judge too harshly. It's only hurting yourself. You need to develop more of a 'honey badger don't care' laissez-faire attitude. If someone doesn't like them or appreciate you, just move on (but you have a man who cares for you, so don't kick a man out of bed for making crumbs. No one's perfect.) No biggie. See, no biggie.

    And p. s. don't create problems where there are none. Your man is more likely to be upset by you getting upset over something as silly as this, than he is about any sort of personal preferences. If you are cool, and nice, he'll want to be with you. It's about you, not your breasts. And remember, you're in your prime, physically. Relish it. Otherwise you'll back a decade from now and think, 'Why was I so unhappy then?'

    • I second this excellent advice.

  • When he said that boobs are beautiful things, yours included. If he's with you then I'm sure he loves everything about you. I mean he could have been with a girl with big boobs but he's not, right? So that's enough reason to make you realize you're beautiful the way you are. Some women with big boobs wish they didn't have them, because it's very painful and uncomfortable. And advertisements have all kinds of women actually, I think you're just focusing more on the women who make you feel insecure.. when really, you shouldn't.

Most Helpful Guys

  • OK well I think you need to take a breath. Realize that boobs are boobs whether big or small. My girlfriend small breasted and I adore her boobs so ur boyfriend liking boobs doesn't mean he doesn't love yours. Also becareful not to project to much insecurity into ur boyfriend it's not healthy. To answer ur question, no not all guys think the same. Some guys only like small chested girls, some only like big breasted, some like both some don't care and a lot of guys are ass guys. Also some guys just like completely flat women people have very different taste someone will think ur super hot garunteed but u need to learn to love urself more. I actually think therapy would be a good fit since u seem to have really negative body images and it even affects u watching television. More normal of a problem then u think. I'm just saying seeing a professional can make a world of difference

  • I've known many women who have small breasts and quite a few of them feel as you do. Just realize that breast size is not important to most men. Many men, myself included, love small breasted women and prefer them. However breast size has never been a consideration for me in choosing a lover. Who you are is far more important. I would be willing to bet that your boyfriend would agree with that.

    • Could you advise whether I'm overreacting that my boyfriend said he thinks boobs in general are nice things to look at? I feel like a lot of men are like this but I'm not sure how to respond to this since I feel really down when he makes such a broad/general statement about boobs on different women

    • Honestly yes, I think you may be overreacting. We all have things about ourselves that we are sensitive about. It sounds to me like he was making a very general statement.

    • Here’s a thought - you should not be “shamed” about how you feel… so please don’t listen to anybody who says you are neurotic And his opinion is his opinion, so that’s OK too, but I think you two should have some conversations about this. It may be uncomfortable because you’re going to have to be open and honest. Hopefully he is man enough, and mature enough, to try to understand that your feelings are valid. Respect and appreciation in a serious relationship are key. I wish guys would learn that if they want amazing sex with their girl, then their girl should be the object of all their sexual attention, and vice versa. THAT is something that builds goodness in a couple!

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 13

  • I actually prefer a smaller breast like an A or B cup. Enjoy what you have.

  • If he really likes you. It shouldn't be an issue

  • A guy can like boobs in general, but it doesn't matter if he likes you and you're already in a relationship

    • Are all men like this you reckon? How do you feel when you see women who have nicer boobs than your GF's?

    • I don't have a girlfriend, never had, but when I have a crush on someone I find everyone else unattractive. And no, not all men are like this

  • Getting insecure about your breasts is a common overreaction. Most men find all breasts attractive.

  • First. Generalizing men as all is incorrect.

    Next. Boobs are beautiful 😍! All boobs! I love placing my mouth over the aeroles & seeing just how diamond hard u can make them!
    Next, I look at women even if I am with a girl. I love the looking at them. Appreciation of a girl.

    Don't bash yourself. Big breasts can cause back problems too. I am also sure your lithe body can do some things other girls cannot. 😁🦄

  • I can tell you this, I love short girls and small breasts. Don't get down on your body, love it, rock it.

  • You'll get over it, big/small they're yours... It's not a flaw; I've been attracted to girls with some small breasts and will never get over them. ...
    Sometimes I dream about them and wake up hard- cum everywhere. ..

  • I know a lot of small chested women that are sexy as fuck it's all about a person's preference personally I'm an ass man so you could have just nipples for all i care as long as you got a booty

  • Don’t do that your breasts are perfect I’m sure!

  • I love small boobs, although, if covered, big boobs are okay. Yet if I am with a girl I find bi boibs less attractive once the bra is removed while small boobs only get better the less covered they are.

  • You "cannot watch netflix together" because there might be nudity? Seriously? This is not self-conscious this is full-blown neurotic. Pretty soon you are going to refuse to have sex with your boyfriend and your relationship will tank.

    You need to get a grip on this anxiety. Talk with your doctor about anxiety medicine.

  • Nope
    i like my own

  • First, you have boobs, which you’re boyfriend was trying to say is beautiful but fcked it up. Second, once you get into the mood no one really cares about boob size. Big boobs are visually stimulating so they get a lot of airtime. Third, not sure how old you are but based on my girlfriend experiences boobs can grow over time. Also, birth control affects them as well, fyi. But I’m sure you’re very stimulating to your dumb boyfriend. :)

  • If it makes you feel any better, it looks like most of the guys here are ass men:

    Guys, What is your favorite body part on a woman?

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