Sexual Relationships
+1 y

If you are not sexually pleasured by your partner is that a reason to let things go?

I have been dating my man for 1 year and a half and he is an AMAZINGGGG guy , no one has ever treated me so well or made me feel like I’m the only girl on earth. But lately I haven’t been pleasured , when we are having sex I don’t feel much. Only in the beginning but towards the end I just sometimes don’t ever orgasm. I ask him many times to do oral or use his fingers but he NEVER wants to , while me on the other hand I don’t mind doing or returning the favor and he KNOWS THAT. I’m scared that our sexual life has gone down hill. What do you guys thinks? I need help ):
Updates:
+1 y
Edit : it’s sometimes really good! But many times I don’t feel anything
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • Generally speaking, yes, sexual dissatisfaction is a legitimate reason to terminate a relationship if the issue isn't solvable. However, your issue is still potentially solvable.

    How forceful have you been when discussing this with him? Here's a good outline on the steps to take when you are dissatisfied with something in a relationsip:
    Step 1) Request a change calmly and politely.
    Step 2) Request a change sternly and assertively.
    Step 3) Ultimatum.
    Step 4) Break up.

    It sounds to me like you are skipping steps 2 and 3, and instead going straight to 4. If that's really what you want, that's your decision to make, but just know that there is still more you can do before breaking up is your only option.

    • Omg thank you for your reply ! Yesss you are very right i May need to sit down and talk to him SERIOUSLY, because I don’t always feel pleasured and he ALWYAS does. So I need to request firmly without sounding forceful. Thank youuu!

    • No problem. I understand the impulse to spare his feelings, but just remember that being firm with him and making him hurt just enough to spur him to make the change sucks, sure, but it's better than breaking up. Breaking up is the absolute last resort.

  • I strongly suggest you find a good couple's therapist to help you work this out. Shouldn't take too long. Would it help if became a lot more dominant?

    • Yea maybe I would look into that tbh , and he can be at times

    • When is the sex the best in terms of roles and aggressiveness?

Most Helpful Girl

  • What do you mean by "let things go"? Let the relationship go or just accept that he doesn't satisfy you?

    • Like break up , would that be something that would lead you to finalize a relationship?

    • I'd prefer to have an open and frank discussion with him about your needs before the drastic step of leaving "an AMAZINGGGG guy"

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

If women don’t enjoy penetration then why do they like sex?
What makes someone of opposite sex good in bed for you?
Is getting a circumcision the right answer in my case?
What is the safest way to dispose a used condom that was not your husband?

What Girls & Guys Said

0 16

  • maybe something can work on and improve, sometimes does take work. but if that part doesn't work... it's a long and painful roomate relationship... that I don't recommend.

  • It does not sound like it is going to get better if he will not give you oral. Do you ever orgasm from intercourse or are you like many girls who need a lot of oral first? How often are you two having sex? Would going for round 2 each time help?

    • Yea I have orgasm while doing it but sometimes it’s bc I have to think about something that will make me orgasm. I don’t necessarily need oral in order to orgasm but I told him many times I would love to be fingered or receive oral but he never listens. And yea we have done rounds before but I don’t think it works

  • Is he not willing to stroke your clit while he's fucking you? If he's not even willing to do that he's not really treating you well. If he's ok with getting off without you getting off he's selfish. The other treatment is just to ensure he can still get what he wants.

  • Best you let him go for a girl that always appreciates him without criticism.

  • I could help you ou with that. ;) lol

  • Did you tell them that you aren't enjoying sex anymore? because the longer you put that off, that harder that conversation will be.

  • If sometimes it works and other times no try to find out maybe there is something else about it which won't let you enjoy it. Also just speak freely with him about what bothers you and why he wouldn't want to pleasure you in more ways.

    • Yea I have tried to get behind of the real deal to why he doesn’t want to pleasure me any other way and he says because he doesn’t get any satisfaction or pleasured when he pleasure me... like wtf?

    • That's fine, I know it seems unfair as you do it to him but he refuses to do the same for you. Maybe it's just disgusting for him or unusual and he's afraid of how it'll be. If you want to go for extremes then refuse to do it anymore and maybe from desperation he will go for a compromise

  • If you're not, I suspect other issues exist. Communication issues in particular

  • First: you don't need to explain any reason why you stay or leave a relationship.
    That being said I suggest you have a discussion with him, tell him exactly how that make you feel. Can this just be a lack of communication?

  • I strongly suggest nyou have a talk with him about how you feel

  • If you are not being sexually satisfied and he is not willing to do things to make sure you are getting pleasure. He is obviously not very mature.

    • I agree 100%

    • Sexual satisfaction is pretty important. The fact he is not giving effort to get you off says a lot about his personality. My last partner was self concious about revieving oral but I never hesitated to try and get her off from stimulation other ways. Even before or after having sex. I think you should seriously consider bringing this up more and let him know he is not satisfying you very often.

  • For one he’s being selfish. But I would have a sit down discussion about sex. We guys aren’t very educated about vaginas and g spots. We should be, but different issue. So talk to him first, if he still refuses to change, I’d look elsewhere.

    • Couldnt have said it better myself.

    • I agree so much ! You are very right ! It just makes me upset that he never wants to pleasure me any other way (orally or fingers) when I have suggested to pleasure HIM other ways

  • That’s a reason for the two of you to work harder at improving your sex life

  • How big is his penis? 6 inches is average?

  • Have you actually communicated to him using words and sentences? Or just passive aggressive hints?

    • Yea I have asked him several times why does he never want to pleasure me orally or with his finger and he just shrugs it off like he doesn’t care. But I have never told him that I don’t feel satisfied when we are doing it

  • Uh yeah that's pretty normal. That's kinda important thing to have in a relationship. If they don't do that it could lead to them not being satisfied or whatever and looking elsewhere because obviously people have needs. If not doing that what's the point in being in a relationship. Of course if he is a good guy tho and treats you good and love you.. You being a female that should be one of the most important things too to be considered.

Latest Questions

Sexually frustrated, am I in the wrong?
I caught my girlfriend reading erotica on her ipad -- should I be concerned?
How to stop feeling self conscious about my butt?
Girls- Do you like to swallow a guys cum or is it nasty?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > If you are not sexually pleasured by your partner is that a reason to let things go?