Guys why does my boyfriend do this?

So I've noticed the last few weeks my boyfriend looks up porn before we have sex in secret.
He doesn't initiate unless he watches it first.
We have sex nearly everyday and he says our sex is good.
Is he just not attacted to me anymore?
Or desires other women?
I go to the gym and make myself look good for him so i don't understand why he needs to do this. ☹
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Don't jump to the conclusion it is you that is making him turn to porn.

    Honestly, some guys just use porn to better their sexual experience weither it's masturbating or sex. Most guys can achive an orgasm during sex without porn. But then there are some that may need to get "warmed up" to get anywhere. It's hardly ever the case of their female partner not being able to satify them. It's just more of a visual stimulation aid to make a better experience.

    However, if you find he is too focused into the video/or else where and not so much on you when you two do become intimate, then he possibly may be hiding a performance issue or slight addication. You could acknowledge the situtation and ask his reason behind it. But just be sure to not shame him or he could shut down completely.

    • Thank you. He doesn't watch it during just before hand. The problem I'm finding is, he's not initiating sex as often and the other day we were in bed together and he said he was horny and normally he would make moves on me esp when I'm lying their naked but he didn't and said he was tired & for me to get up and get dressed as we were heading out. I got up to get dressed and 5 minutes later he found me with a hard on saying he just got like that and we had sex. And now i feel like he's not attracted to me because later i realised he looked up porn when i got up and the only reason he was hard.

    • That sounds a little abnormal. Not completely normal, but not a healthy normal. He sounds like he is definitely putting himself first before you (only if you made him aware you wanted sex, but he shrugged it off and turned to porn instead). I'm still not convinced he is doing it cause he no longer loves you or that he doesn't find you attractive. It may be because he feels like he needs to slow his needs of just jumping you for sex. Guys do realise most females aren't as wanting anything sexual as much as they do. So possibly he may not truly know you desire him to act on his needs. Heck, if you find it off-putting, try and see if he will watch/masturbate to porn with you? It can be a big turn on for both of you and most guys would be more interested to engage in foreplay from that, then eventually it'll lead up to sex. Take as many small steps as you feel comfortable to do so. Nothing drastic. But do make him aware of your needs and wants though.

  • We'll something he sees there turns him on wich you not doing,
    You know what I've realized, guys actually want to let us jump off when he's about to cum, get on your knees and wait for ewww,
    And sadley in real life we don't have to pretend we like,
    Ask him...

    • I do everything he asks and wants.😫

Most Helpful Guys

  • Lots of guys look at porn. Dont be offended and dont try to shame him. Guys do things in porn that most women would not want done and most men would not want to do to the women they love but its hott. He might have a hard time getting started and wants to ensure he is up and ready for you.

  • Performance anxity can cause his penis to stay flacid. It happens with a lot of guys.
    Privately, well... I think you can tell how much guys like to boast how good they are in bed.

    Or, you are right, you might wanna spice things up. Internet will help you.

    • Thats the issue! He has no issues! He can get hard at anytime anywhere on anything he's fine. It wouldn't bother him the slightest if he came too quick or couldn't get it up he'd show me and laugh.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 9
  • I would talk to him about it... could be an addiction or something... would certaintly make me feel self conscious

    • We have been fighting a lot lately and he has told me that it makes him less attracted to me. But he is physically attracted to me.

  • He does it in secret because he feels like you judge his behavior as a negative. Otherwise he would watch it with you.

    • I've asked to watch it with him lots and even did once and he gets too shy and doesn't want me to. Even tho I've made him feel comfortable and don't judge

    • Ok that’s weird. Most guys would jump at the chance to watch porn with their lover. Maybe he has experience with someone in his past that made him feel like it was a bad decision to watch porn?

    • Maybe

    • Show All
  • This is not normal behaviour maybe you should ask him first might be possible he is cumming before so he can last longer but who knows

    • He's not coming before hand. Its Its something he's doing to get in the mood.

    • Then talk to him about it

    • He lies to me.

    • Show All
  • age 36-45, he probably is just losing his game at that age, having sex every day he's probably just burnt out from it and needs some stimulus

    • My boyfriend is 24 😂

  • all the other answer are bullshit, he watch porn because he have to much sex or masturbate to much and he will not be able to cum. Put him to take a long brake from porn start to have more sex whit you (even if he will not cum), and in a couple of weeks he will die for sex whit you.

    • I think you may be right because he has an extremely high sex drive and on the weekends when he's home he will masturbate all day if he could. Do you think he cheat?

    • Just because he watch porn before he have sex whit you i can't say that make him suspicios of cheating. But if you think he cheat then try to test him.

    • How so?

    • Show All
  • Guys just like porn. Don't get offended by it. offer to let him watch with you and try what is in the video.

    • I have lots of times. He doesn't want me to with him

    • Why not?

    • I have no idea. He's not shy at all. Maybe he's into something he doesn't want me to know.

    • Show All
  • fantasy fuel has nothing to do with you.

  • Maybe he is wired so only porn gets him. hard. a fledgling ir begining stage of porn addiction

  • He is addicted to porn. Like any other substance, he should try to moderate. It’s not that he doesn’t find you attractive, he just has to do it first to get hard. The “has to” is the point when it becomes paraphilic.

  • This is what you do start doing the exact same thing and make sure he notices and see what happens then 😉

    • When he catches me masturbating he gets angry and walks away Instead of joining in. L