Would you still date a girl if she’s saving Sex for marriage?

[SaiyenBloodd]

What’s your take

[Obtuse]

Lean towards "no". I mean what if she is like some weird kinky one in the bedroom or starfish and that never changes? I mean I had a girlfriend one time and we didn't wait until marriage to have sex but waited a good few months and she ended up being a germaphobe. She didn't like me to stimulate her down there with either mouth or hand. So then we try to have intercourse without that after all kinds of foreplay excluding any down there and then she ends up complaining about pain 5 minutes into it and I have to stop. We tried again a few more times and the same thing, and I could not persuade her to let me stimulate her down there. That'd be so miserable if we got married before I found that out.

[Obtuse]

Aren't girls concerned about that too though? Like what if you marry a guy, make an oath to devote the rest of your life to him, and then on the wedding night, it turns out he likes to watch incest pornos and likes to tie you up and make you call him "brother" or "daddy" and that's the only way he can get turned on?

[Obtuse]

Or like what if he's a sadist? Like the only when he can get into it is if he beats you around, smacks you, strangles you, etc, and you're not at all into that?

[Obtuse]

Or even simpler, let's say you're very sub and he's very sub in the bedroom and neither of you is dom or switch. I mean sexual techniques can be learned but I don't think sexual preferences can be changed so much.

[Anonymous]

No. Firstly, because I think sex is pretty essential in a relationship (at least for me). Secondly, because I consider "traditional" attitudes like that rather silly, if I'm being honest. And that shows me that me and this person just don't fit well together, as I'm not at all a traditional person.

[Blubby1234]

I think some guys would say they would but when it comes to it they wouldn’t be able to deal without sex that long

[Iron_Man]

They can

[Blubby1234]

@Iron_Man they can but will they really

[Iron_Man]

I would

[Obtuse]

I could easily as well -- I have a hand. But the problem to me is that I feel like I don't know who I married. I don't want to get a horrible surprise in the bedroom that reveals that we're not very compatible this way.

[Obtuse]

Actually let's say we have sex one time early on. Then avoid having sex until marriage. That would be much easier for me.

[Blubby1234]

@Obtuse yeah exactly. That’s partly why I would never wait until I married the person. What if we had sex and it was horrible but we’re already married

[Blubby1234]

@Obtuse but you can’t do that. That defeats jt

[Blubby1234]

The purpose

[Obtuse]

Yeah, that's the tricky part for me. If I was a virgin, then I might not mind it. It's all that I know. I don't know any better. I have no point of comparison. So I might be grateful with even the most sexually incompatible partner, and maybe we can do everything we can to at least stay reasonably passionate regardless. But I'm not a virgin -- I'm far beyond now -- and having made comparisons, I do think there is very much a thing as sexual compatibility of a sort that cannot necessarily be improved upon... it has little to do with technique or anything like that for me, but being like-minded, wanting the same thing, and having a compatible way of expressing ourselves sexually.

[Blubby1234]

@Obtuse it would be easier for virgins to do this than non virgins cause we already know what it feels like

[Obtuse]

Yeah. I'm also thinking about a strict idea of "virgin". It seems nowadays that some people who have engaged in just about every sexual activity except vaginal intercourse still call themselves "virgin". Maybe if people try just about everything but that together, they can get a good enough idea. I do think it's weird for people to call themselves "virgins" though this way. That would mean that homosexuals can never lose their "virginity".

[Blubby1234]

@Obtuse well they’re considering losing their virginity P in V sex. You can“ lose your virginity ” however you consider that to be. So it could be anal or oral

[Anonymous]

from my experience most men will if they really like you

[PrudentGuy]

If I'm considering marrying and is ready for marriage, then I would for sure.

Another condition: she agrees to marry and sets an approximate time frame, like with a year or so.

[ShortCircuit]

Maybe, but there would be a lot of conditions.

[Loh28]

What kind of condition?

[ShortCircuit]

@Loh28 I've realized since posting that many of the conditions I had in mind would apply to any girl I was dating, not just one who wanted to wait until marriage--but here's some examples: - She'd have to be a virgin. - We'd have to discuss sex at great length to ensure sexual compatibility. - I'd want us to see each other naked for the same reason as above. - She'd have to be willing to move in together before getting married.

[slatyb]

I would not. Sex is too important. I'm wouldn't marry someone without knowing that we're sexually compatible. Are you really a 34-year-old virgin?

[dmgstarfleet]

No. I want an adult, not a high school relationship. Some people are simply not sexually compatible. How awful to get married only to discover that afterwards. That "abstinence" crap is rooted in religion and the idea that a woman is "spoiled" once sampled. Abrahamic religions (Christianity, Judaism and Islam) all blame women for bringing sin into the world and are the genesis of this anti-woman, anti-sex attitude.

[cunnilinguist]

Saving sex? No. Marriage? Double no. Date? Uhm... That game of lies is going to cost you a LOT of your precious years.

[Reaperbot666]

provided to had a strong mental and other physically connection sure.

however I would also ask what she counts as sexual. are we talking just pentation or everything.

[Reaperbot666]

typo *provided we had a strong mental and other physically connection sure*

[Dargil]

If I had it to do over: If our relationship could walk the bases to satisfying BJ/Cunnilingus and 69, I could wait indefinitely. Only in intercourse do you "become one". The rest is canoodling.

[J2ohhhhh]

It isn't like a chocolate bar, if you eat it know you don't get more later. You can have sex now and there's enough sex for marriage as well.

[Liadon]

Depends on why she is, as its a kinda traditional belief and I'm not really into traditional people.

[curiosityc0mplex]

I date a guy that's saving sex for marriage 100%

[MannMitAntworten]

I have more than once. Granted they have sex on their brains a LOT more often than those who did not save themselves.

[Richard-Tilburg]

Probably not. I want a girl who knows what she wants, especialy with sex.

[Hydra6544]

Yes I would because I am doing the same thing

[Iron_Man]

Yes of course those women are Queens and to be treated like Royalty they are pure and deserve the best treatment. They are highly respected. They're very rare

[NorthwestRider]

Not into conservative religious prudes

[willisg]

Yep, why not?

[ikEVERYTHING]

That's what I'm doing myself and my current girlfriend also so yeah

[clampfan101]

Absolutely! It would be quite preferable.

[Dchrls78104]

If you are that girl and 34 is your actual age I would be VERY interested.

[Gedaria]

Yes...