Is it normal to have sex with a sleeping partner?

[Anonymous]

Last night I woke up to my boyfriend going at it with me, which sounds kind of ridiculous but I’m an incredibly deep sleeper. I told him to stop a few times and tried to push him off, but he acted like he couldn’t hear me and kept going, so I just let him finish.

I asked him why he did it this morning, and he apologized and said he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing, but that couples in a sexual relationship do it all the time.

I’m sorry if this is a stupid question, but this is my first relationship and sexual partner. He's a lot more experienced than I am, so I'm inclined to trust him, but I just feel kinda weird about the whole situation.

[worldscolide]

Not unless there is understood consent.. Meaning with my wife, id never do that unless i knew it was ok with her. Its not a stupid question. you need to think about how you feel about it. If you're ok with it, or if you're not. You need to think about what you want to do about it. If you love him, and believe it was a simple mistake, than you need to have that conversation with him and establish boundaries. If you are hurt, if you can't trust him any more, if you dont want to be with him any more, If you feel threatened in any way by it, leave him, report it, have him arrested.

Ultimately its up to you what you want to do, How you feel about it. Things like that.. But its never ok to do something like that unless there is some kind of understanding in place.

[worldscolide]

you also need to have a real conversation with him about it.

[integrale77]

That's definitely wrong technically rape. It's only acceptable if ifs something agreed prior (usually as a fetish), he might have done it with consent in a previous relationship or someone told him about it making him think its acceptable.
If you don't consent to it in the future make him aware to set him straight that it's not acceptable.

[KrakenAttackin]

Did you know that 63% of women admit to having rape fantasies? And these are just the women who admit to it?

[SarahsSummer]

This is something you need to have a conversation with your guy about. My guy sometimes does the same thing but that’s only after we had a talk and I expressly told him it was ok whenever he wants to roll me over while sleeping if he needs to. But absent a conversation expressing your consent, that’s wrong and essentially rape.

[Justacatlady]

Being that you haven’t had a discussion about this, I’m not going to say rape. But the two of you should discuss whether your both okay with this. If you don’t want him having sex with you while your asleep, you say that. It isn’t a right if his just because you two are together. It has to be consensual

[AustinMan]

It happens. Did you enjoy it overall?

[Asker]

No. It hurt

[AustinMan]

Sorry. For those kinksters among us, that kind of pain can be very erotic.

[Marilynjuana]

Darling, you dump that bastard. What a dickface.

[LissyB27]

No, that's not ok. Sex is consensual, even if you are in a meaningful relationship. ESPECIALLY if you are in a meaningful relationship. So wrong and disrespectful. Your body isn't for him to use when he wants.

[AzureGirl]

So basically he raped you while you were sleeping. You gave no consent and was verbal about not wanting sex but he disregarded what you wanted. I highly suggest reevaluating your relationship.

[imyourprincess]

I dont wanna alarm you but if he is having sex with you while you're asleep its rape

[Cherokeehp]

He raped you.

[Cherokeehp]

Please break up with him immediately. That’s not normal.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

I whander how it will be for a guy to get a BJ in the sleep and wake up and finde out that, it will steel be reap?

[Cherokeehp]

@Alexandrubaschet08 That’s still rape. If there was no discussion or consent beforehand then that’s rape. It doesn’t matter if it’s male on female, female on male, male on male, or female on female.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

That meen i have meen reap all the time in the past... i didn't know How it will be for a man to go and say my girl suck me when i sleep? (the reaping is something horible, not even a girl supos to go thrw that, this coment is a joke)

[Cherokeehp]

@Alexandrubaschet08 If you consent to your girlfriend doing that, then that’s fine. That’s your life. But this girl didn’t consent to this and it seems like she feels uncomfortable about it. If her partners really respected her feelings he wouldn’t have done that.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

yes, when she/he say "NO" then is 100%, this girl say "no" and the partener keep going. But in my situation i whas sleeping and wake up whit my D wet. Later my girl tell me she give me a bj and i whas 99.99% shure she did that before talk whit her. But how it whas to say "i'm gone call the polici, you reap me bitch!" :))

[Cherokeehp]

@Alexandrubaschet08 I don't know wtf you’re tryna say.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

all the couple supose to give permision to have sex when ever the pertener whant girl/boy.

[Cherokeehp]

@Alexandrubaschet08 Both partners need to consent to sex.

[Alexandrubaschet08]

at the begining of relationship, "ok you can have me when ever you want me so the other one can have the same"

[Sarahr123]

If you were asleep wouldn’t that be painful? That’s basically rape because you can’t consent when you’re asleep.

[BlondeGoneWild]

I wouldn’t say normal, but a couple of my friends have had experiences with it (not all enjoyed it though). Personally I find it incredibly hot

[TadCurious]

I'm very skeptical that anyone could have sex with someone without waking them up, unless they were passed out drunk.

[kevinm1993]

Uhmm so ur saying its okey to have sex with someone whos passed out drunk?

[TadCurious]

@kevinm1993 No, that's not what I said.

[kevinm1993]

Fiew😅

[Twalli]

@kevinm1993 he's saying unless you were passed out drunk you'd know as soon as someone started fucking you

[Drumlin2001]

He was having sex with you without you consenting, you asked him to stop, he didn't. Isn't that rape?

[chriscdi]

how you know he hasn't done this before and you are pregnant lol

[es20490446e]

What are the consequences of that?

[WTFever]

No, raping your partner isn't that common in relationships.

[douride2]

Sounds more like he raped you.

[kevinm1993]

Thats plain rape.

[ITGirl95]

I don't know how sexual relationships work, but this is rape in my opinion

[poneglyphs]

its kinky but I think it is normal

[Twalli]

He raped you. It can happen and be incredibly hot. Yet you have to agree to it beforehand. Since you said stop and tried to push him off you, that qualifies as rape. Technically it was rape when he started while you were asleep, but that has happened before and it was liked, so it's a different story.

[KrakenAttackin]

Do you realize how crazy that sounds? if she likes it a one time but not another time it's rape.

[Twalli]

@KrakenAttackin I am not saying that. I am saying that if she agrees to him fucking her when she's asleep it's not rape. If she says no, stop, or tries to fight him off at any time, even with prior approval it's rape. The issue I see is that there was no prior approval and no approval at that time. Either one would have made this a different sitiuation.

[KrakenAttackin]

Oh boy... here come the "rape" screams.

[es20490446e]

I thought it was due to people dying, but this rape looks more important.

[devil_8888]

It’s not normal. No one is allowed to have sex without the consent of their partner. That’s actually rude of him to do so..