My boyfriend says he has fleeting sexual thoughts about random people?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is absolutely wonderful and we’ve been together for going on 6 years. He has brought up that he wants to marry me and he is in love with me (says he was never in love before) I would marry him in a second. The other day we were asking each other some questions and I was genuinely curious if he ever thought about sex with other women, at first he said no but I was like come on it’s ok you can tell me, let’s be open, then he said yes but it’s once in a while and he ends up feeling guilty when it happens. I wasn’t shocked but kinda bummed. He said nobody could even compare to me which was nice but I found myself thinking is this not right. I can see finding other people attractive but thinking about sex makes me feel meh. I don’t think about sex with other guys even if they are attractive because I can’t really go there with anyone but him, he is all I want. I asked him does he ever want to have sex with anyone else and he says that he doesn’t but I just think to myself how could you not want to if the thought comes in. Can anybody help me wrap my head around this. I don’t want to let this ruin an otherwise very solid relationship but I am combatting with it internally a bit.

[crmoore]

I completely relate to your boyfriend. I'm not sure if it's just your boyfriend and I as individuals or if there's something instinctual in men. But let me be very clear, I firmly dislike the the thoughts it other women that pop in my head when I'm dating, in fact, I even firmly dislike finding other women attractive when I'm in a relationship. I dislike it greatly. If I could somehow flip the switch and only find the person I'm in relationship attractive, I absolutely would. So trust me, and I assume your boyfriend feels the same way, when I say that just because the thought pops into my head, it does not mean we want to or even find the thought enjoyable. It makes me feel guilty, too. Even if my girlfriend doesn't mind the thoughts popping into my head, I don't like it. And I can assure you, just because those thoughts pop into his head doesn't mean those girls are more attractive or desirable than you. It's just a natural occurence that is difficult to prevent. And regarding what you mentioned about having those thoughts but not wanting to do it, I most certainly don't want to have sex with the people who are in the thoughts that pop into my head, and I assume that is the same for your boyfriend.

[ask4any]

For one, you need to be honest. Everyone thinks about what the sex would be like with someone they find attractive. EVERYONE! Yes even you. Which you admit to in your own story. Let's start with some honesty alright? Then we'll go from there!

[SueShe]

Six years with the same person, at this age group (25-35), that is a very long time and I am even surprised that he has not been cheating yet.

In a relation, the partner's body starts to lose its interest after about 3 years since there is nothing new to discover. Some people, mainly men, start to fantasize about other girls since they are sex driven for quite a number of years.

The fact alone that he fantasizes having intercourse with another girl is a cause for concern and usually, that is one way how cheating begins. The other way is by watching porn while being in a relation.

To me, that is a red flag and I would start to give serious thoughts about the guy and his true intentions.

[edjee4]

It’s not the same as if he brought it up or flat out asked for an open relationship. I think he was just trying to be honest, and since we’re telling the truth have you really never thought about sex with a hot guy you run into?

[Secret6620]

As long as he doesn't act on any of his thoughts about these other girls... There's nothing to worry about... 🌸

[CheezyPizza]

If he thinks it, he is going to do it the first chance he gets, honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue 💔

[CubaPirate]

he's just a normal guy don't worry

[Anonymous]

You have NEVER fantasized about sex with another guy for just a moment? I can’t quite believe that.
No need to worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anybody who says otherwise is a liar so you won't actually find anyone that is different.