What do you think if a guy tells you this before sex?

[Anonymous]

The guy is no stranger to the lady as they knwo each other for 4 years. When they first met they hanged out twice and have nice dates and enjoy the times togehter but still just as friends and nothing else, even if they did make out at the end of each date, beause the guy wanted to do that and the lady just reciprocicated to his making out. The guy never wnted though to develop any formal relationship with the lady as he liked to remain single all his life and enjoy his freedom, he never liked the drama that it is involved in steady relationships with a woman so he prefer to remain single. In these two dates they never had sex though just the juicy making out I mentioned. They hanged out again 2 other times but in those 2 other times, they did had sex,. In the first one of these other 2 dates the lady lost her virginity to him. Before they had sex that day like 30 minutes before, the guy was clear to the lady and told her this: "I like us to keep doing this in the long run, just to see each other from time to time but I dont expect you to become all emotional after sex, understand?

This phrase was said just minutes before he banged her. Does it sound rude or disrespectful from him to say that just before sex, and these things are not said jsut right before sex? or itis normal a man to say those things to a lady right before sex and once the lady is alreayd in his apartment and the guy wanted to bang her? I mean the guy told her that but then he told her he will like to keep doing that in the future, just her not to get emotional even if he was atractive to her. isn't that contradictory? I mean "the guy wanted to keep banging his friend or his acquaitance that he knew for 4 years only in those 4 years they never had sex but the guy and her alwyas got along well , but then he expected her not to be emotional with him if they continue to have sex. Is that awkward or normal?

.

[jgirl99]

I mean it's kind of fucked up to say that just as he's about to enter her, like u want friends with benefits, cool u say that before u get me in ur apartment, not when im already naked and lying underneath u, u know how hard it is to say no to sex when is already in the act of happening? For women specifically, we literally feel like we can't say "no, or stop" in the middle of sex, we feel like we HAVE to keep going or the guy (stranger, boyfriend, friend, whoever) will get reject us, or get mad or 'hurt' or god knows what else. We feel almost an 'obligation' or 'responsibility' to get the guy off, cause its easier than saying (please stop, I'm not in the mood, or no in general) and risking things turning sideways (like him refusing to stop, or being taken by force). its not fair and its a double standard. Its hard enough for women to express our sexuality and how society views us as it is, we also have the enormous weight of worries about how the men in our personal lives view our sexuality and how we use it. when will a woman be able to say openly 'I love sex' with no backlash? We're not whores cause we like sex. Bit anyway, yea it was extremely rude and disrespectful of him to say that righy before sex

[Asker]

Yes it is hard but is not fair a guy say that to her even if they were just friends with benefits or whomever i dotn get this guy in my case

[jgirl99]

This guy seems like an asshole, sorry

[VIVANT]

It’s normal for people who want no strings attached sex to keep it only as sex, but they don’t need speeches Bc it’s what they both want.

if that is not what you want you should stop sleeping with him.

also the way he said it was obnoxious. All he needed to say was he didn’t want a relationship. The rest is for you to decide. Your body your emotions your choice.

[Asker]

Exactly why the guy had to tell her that before sex if he told her before like when they met he enjoy being single and no relationship drama and he only wanted to reamin friends with her. Why the speech of I dotn want you to become emotional just mintues of the act?

[VIVANT]

Yeah I do find it untrustworthy. It isn’t logical at all.

[Asker]

I mean is odd if he was clear to here 4 years before it actually happen the sex why he had to tell her that speech of her not becoming emotional just l ike 30 minutes before the sex? And before this sex they met for 4 years and hanged out before only with no sex before.

[Berethor]

The lady already known that the guy is not looking for a serious relationship.

[chriscdi]

couldve just saved the time and said it was you because reading it is 3rd person is annoying and yes its awkward and not normal, he just wants to fuck her, well its normal now cause everyone just wants to fuck nowadays and its become reality but its not right is what i mean.

[Apope16]

He only wants a Friends with benefits relationship... next question.

[Asker]

not even that i assume i could handle friends with benefits but he he is odd and i dont know what is what he wants

[Apope16]

I am telling you what he wants. He only wants sex. He doesn't want a relationship. God has now spoken. Take my advice wisely.

[Asker]

I dont want a relationship either but he is not really like a total stranger. Like if I just met him months ago I met him 5 years ago and we had even bump into each other in family activities and talk and joke.

[Apope16]

Basically what is happening right now is he only likes you for sex. He also likes you as a friend. Some people... especially guys.. can separate friendship feelings from sex. You on the other hand secretly want him to like you as more than a friend but you are just in complete denial about it. so you type this question up. you obsess about it. keep ignoring what I am telling you because you think friendship feelings are the same as romantic. Clearly here he is saying that even if he knows you he only likes you as a friend. But he still can orgasm and enjoy sex. I know because I have been in his shoes.

[Berethor]

It's not common for a guy to be so honest with a lady before banging her, most guys would lie to a lady to get in her pants, but that's what the lady wanted? the guy to lie the lady about loving her? the lady don't appreciate the guy's honesty, the guy might be a player, but at least he honest about that, and the lady can't claim that it was a rape by deception. It's looks like both the guy and the lady was treating making out as if it's a trivial thing, even though the lady and the guy relationship already stop being platonic AKA just friends the moment that the guy has started to go on dates with the lady and making out with the lady at the end of those dates. The guy was respectful to the lady's virginity in his own way, the guy didn't bang the lady in a completely trivial way, in theirs, and especially hers first time ( for her it was a first time in general while he known better what is going to happen), the guy warn the lady that her relationship with him is going to be physical only, and not emotional, that he not plans to marry the lady despite the fact that he plans to keep banging her from time to time, in a sense the guy promised it's not going to be a one-night stand, the guy had enough respect and value for the lady to not fuck and dump her after a single time, but the guy didn't had enough respect and value for the lady to marry her.

The lady already known that the guy didn't wanted to develop any formal relationship with her, the guy has remind the lady that her relationship with the guy is based on lust, not love, that the guy is wants only sexual fun, not emotional drama, it was also seems to had been a warning for the future, that if the guy relationship with the lady would have too much drama and too little fun then the guy is going to lose interest. The guy has gave the lady a warning and a chance to withdraw, but the lady agreed to the guys terms and the lady basically become the guy's booty call, it's looks like the lady had subconsciously deluded herself that there is something emotional in the lady's relationship with the guy, and the lady delude herself about not becoming the guy's booty call right at the moment when the guy put his cock in her without being in a serious relationship with her, it was a critical moment when the lady both lost her virginity to guy and the guy had seal the deal by making practically making the lady his booty call. It's looks like the lady like to delude herself that she is not the guy's booty call and that her relationship with the guy was not purely physical even though the guy was fairly clear about it being a casual relationship. The lady found it rude when the guy was breaking her illusion? the lady like to play pretend that she was giving the guy her love and not only her pussy? that the guy care about her emotions and not only about how much the lady is good at sex? the lady and guy relationship was disrespectful in any case, honorable people don't engage in casual sex to begin with, so it's not about respect and/or love, it's about an illusion of respect and/or love, the lady might as well told the guy that she want to roleplay and pretend that she is his wife.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrutalHonesty

[Asker]

in any moment the lady pretend she was his wife.

[Berethor]

The guy knows that? the lady could had told the guy that she want to roleplay/play pretend during their meeting and sex, the lady should told the guy that while she accept that her relationship is not going to lead to marriage, that in the lady's meeting with the guy that the lady want it to look like as if it's more than a casual relationship, even though the lady knows that it's not, if people can roleplay a slavery ( BDSM) and a incest ( daddy kink), roleplaying a serious relationship looks more sane in comparison. Why the lady did the pretending all on her own, why the lady didn't ask the guy to play along, was the lady afraid that the guy enjoy his freedom so much, that even pretending for few hours in a month that he is in a serious relationship with the lady would make the guy lose interest? the lady felt that it's not fair that the guy told the lady to not be emotional about him after their sexual relationship has officially started? the lady felt that the guy asked her for something that is impossible for her to do, the lady still agreed to the guy's terms but the lady was not really was able to follow the agreement, the lady got attached despite the non-attachment agreement. Ladies tend to be more emotional than guys, it's natural, but maybe the guy is used to dating slutty ladies, so when he notice that the lady is acting as if it's a serious relationship, it was odd to him, maybe he felt like the lady has a hiding intentions, and it's not just the lady's fantasy, maybe the lady should cleared out that it's only a roleplay. How did the lady pretend in any moment that she was the guy's wife? beside making out and having PIV with the guy, what more wife-like activities the lady did? the lady cooked for the guy? did the lady ever stayed at the guy's apartment after sex?

tvtropes.org/.../FeminineWomenCanCook

[Asker]

The guy was aware she did not want to be his wife so dont assume things

[0112358]

This was one of his more normal things actually.

[Asker]

why this woulkd be more of his normal things?

[0112358]

Because it's not unusual friends with benefits behavior, as opposed to his being whiny, not doing enough foreplay on you and generally being shit in bed.

[Asker]

but do friends with benefits are like that still? Whiny no foreplay? Or now another question do a guy treat a fuck buddy or booty call even with that kind of behavior or not even to booty calls or fuck buddies a man treat them like that?

[VIVANT]

Yes guys or women can be horrible to booty calls. Unfortunately.

[Asker]

@VIVANT Even to booty calls that are friends or they also treat booty calls nice or at least normal

[VIVANT]

I think anything is possible A person can be kind even if it just sex A person can be cruel even if there was friendship Do you feel like his behavior was very changed than it had been - when you guys had sex compared to before?

[VIVANT]

You can message me if you like 😊

[Asker]

@VIVANT I think he indeed changed after the sex and I dont see a reason why

[VIVANT]

How long ago was it -the sex?

[Berethor]

The guy didn't changed, he was always looking only for sex, not marriage.

[VIVANT]

@Berethor She isn’t looking for marriage she’s talking about friendship.

[Berethor]

@VIVANT okay then I would argue that their "friendship" was sexual to begin with.

[reptocarl2]

It means he only wants her for an occasional side fuck. Shame on her for fucking him

[Asker]

I know but is normal if a guy tells the woman that when she was already in his place and minutes when both was going to ahve sex

[reptocarl2]

No it isn’t. He planned it that way because if he had said it the day before she wouldn’t have fucked him

[VIVANT]

He already told you he doesn’t want aRelationship all the other times. Though yeah it’s weird for him to try to have sex with you when he didn’t trust you. And if he was lying for some reason that doesn't make it better. I don’t think this is a good person for you to be interacting with. I don't know all the detail of course. If you want pm me 😊

[Asker]

why the guy had to tell her that before sex if he told her before like when they met he enjoy being single and no relationship drama and he only wanted to reamin friends with her. Why the speech of I dotn want you to become emotional just mintues of the act?

[reptocarl2]

It’s obvious why. The better question is why did you fuck him anyway?

[Asker]

it is a lonnng story why i did want to have sex with him

[reptocarl2]

Because you thought you could make him catch feelings?

[Asker]

Not precisely

[Nice222]

I had a girl tell me that when I was in college. I was fine with it.

[Asker]

Why you were fine with it?

[Berethor]

Because he is a guy, unless the girl was ugly, he was not going to refuse.

tvtropes.org/.../AManIsAlwaysEager

[Nice222]

Because the sex was good.