Should I be feeling guilty about cheating in my dream?

[Caramel_creme]

I am in a serious relationship and very happy with my man, which is why I am feeling guilty about this weird dream I had last night.

So, I know this guy I know from work (one of my clients), and several months ago he made a move on me. I was creeped out, and just politely declined. He hasn’t been inappropriate since.

Last night however, I had a dream where we were making out... and I enjoyed it in my dream.

I am creeped out by it and feeling a little guilty. Weird, Cos I never felt an attraction to him in real life.

Have any of y’all had such a weird sexual dream with someone you aren’t attracted to in real life? How did you feel about it, especially if you were happily coupled up at the time?

[Soteris]

You can sort of consider dreams to be memories copied and pasted into forming some sort of narrative. People you have meet doing things you have seen in places you have some sort of experience in. Add to that you who do not have your full mental faculties available to you and that is more or less what a dream is. Trying to read anything into it is a good way to waste your time generally speaking.

There is not really any great hidden meanings behind your dream and the fact it was that guy was probably more down to chance than anything else. Its also not real. Basically dont take it too seriously and dont feel like you need to apologize for dreams because its just some random stupid thoughts.

[abc3643]

No. This happens all the time.

This will help...

In law, there are two elements necessary for a crime:
1. The criminal act itself must have occurred. (Actus reus)
2. The person who committed the act must have known it was a criminal act and willingly caused the act to occur. (Mens rea)

Even though it's just a dream, for the sake of argument, let's say you cheated in this way - you committed the "actus reus". However, because this was a dream, you could not control it - you have no ability to control dreaming what you dreamt. Therefore, there is no "mens rea"; you did not have a "criminal mind". So, therefore, no crime was committed.

Understand?

[Caramel_creme]

That’s a very interesting way to look at it. Are you a lawyer?

[abc3643]

I play one on TV.

[Caramel_creme]

Lol, I say the same thing when people ask me if I am an architect... catch is, I really am an architect.

[Caramel_creme]

I think the argument you make is sensible, but playing devil’s advocate, it rides on the assumption that you can’t control your dream. But your dream is a product of your subconscious. Your subconscious controls it. Isn’t your subconscious technically part of you? In other words, somewhere deep down, did I want this?

[abc3643]

I am not a lawyer, but I study the law and watch oceans of Law & Order of all flavors that I can wing it. I'd have a pretty good sense of when to object and when it'd be overruled or sustained. Once, in 2004, I was in the jury pool during "voir dire" when potential jurors are being interviewed. Once 12 were selected (I was not but remained in the gallery), during opening statements, one of the lawyers said something and the judge stopped everything and requested the lawyers into his chambers. I turned to the guy next to me and said "This is going to be a mistrial." I knew right away that what that lawyer said in court would cause a mistrial. About 20-30 minutes later, the judge and lawyers came out. The judge then ruled a mistrial and everyone was thanked for their service and went home.

[Caramel_creme]

That’s amazing. What did the lawyer say that caused the mistrial?

[abc3643]

1. You can't control your subconscious. 2. Yes, but so what. We are all like that. But we don't act on it because we have an inhibition and ethics center in our frontal lobes. I've wanted to kill people all the time... but I don't. I want to steal food... but I don't. And my subconscious would love to have sex with all sorts of different women. Occasionally I've dreamt it. But I don't necessarily want it in real life. Again, no real mens rea here.

[abc3643]

Oh, I don't remember. It was a case in the NY State Superior Court. It was a civil suit involving 3 parties. I don't remember what the lawyer said but I instantly knew it was prejudicial to the jury.

[Caramel_creme]

That’s pretty crazy. I bet law school would be a Breeze for you...

[abc3643]

No. I'd have to study, but I don't want to be a lawyer... not in cases in which we have the adversarial system. To me, that's unethical. I am a STEM professional... like Spock. I endeavor to know the truth.

[archiz]

It's really normal don't feel bad about it.
You never thought of him that way and he just showed you otherwise and you just pushed it away back in your mind.
When you dream the unconsciousness surfaces because your guards are down.
But it's totally normal don't beat yourself over it.

[AustinMan]

Not a bit. It's just a dream.

[summiter]

It was just a dream... let it go.

[Hermes-Paris]

When I get those dreams I wake up feeling GREAT! walking around brushing my teeth singing zippadeedoodaa. I could sit down and eat two stacks of pancakes after that one. YEAH !!! They are one of life's little gifts so enjoy them. Like finding a 20 dollar bill at the laundry mat.

[Caramel_creme]

Hahaha! Why do you feel good about it?

[Hermes-Paris]

Just joking actually. I've had a few of those and once was with a woman at work. I later told her about it and she thought it was funny. She had them as well but not with me. Oh well.

[TadCurious]

No there's no reason to feel guilty. We dream all kinds of things that we wouldn't do.

[Goma15]

I've never had a dream like that, but I don't think it's anything you should feel guilty about. It's just a dream, you don't control what you do in a dream (very much).

[sensible27]

Yes, you are free to imagine but people don't start dreaming stuff for no reason. I am being very strict/divergent here as everyone is saying no (so I thought I would submit an opposite view point). Instead of feeling guilty, maybe you can explore why you were feeling and dreaming that ('Make the darkness concious', use the opportunity). Things have a reason, unless you are just having completely random dreams which have nothing to do with your life, ask why? I don't really dream so I can't tell if this is common.

[Dargil]

You can't control your dreams and they most often have no meaning.

[SaintRyan13]

I read the title and came straight to answer...

No... Plane and simple... No.

[dreamstar72]

No it happen dream I think are pieces of thoughts, emotions and ideas passing through the mind while you are in dreamland. So do not worry about what takes place in something you can not control

[Alexandrubaschet08]

if even in you're minde you can't do what ever you want, then where?

[letssee89]

No. It's a dream. It's not real.

[skittles2017]

Its just a dream. Ignore it in real life and enjoy it when you have it.

[AcidT0y]

Can't control your dreams so there's no point feeling bad about it

[Twalli]

Sex dreams about another person can be troubling, but since you're so freaked out about it, you should be fine

[Omar5881]

If you can't control your dreams like me then nothing to be guilty about

[Reddwolf]

You can't control what you dream about it happens

[mohammad92]

I think you dreamed and don't take this issue seriously