As much as I try not to think about it.. I think it is the case for me. I remember when I was a virgin and even after I lost my virginity, I was always into vanilla romantic sex where we would have passionate love making. However, in my late teens, I've been sexually abused many times by someone close to me. I couldn't do anything and I was always so afraid. I would cry so much and it made me feel sooooo disgusting. I hated my body so much and wanted to die.
Eventually the sexual abuse stopped, and I started being into more hardcore stuff in sex. I can't have romantic passionate sex anymore without being bored. Doesn't interest me anymore. Even with my fiancé who I love deeply. Now I enjoy to be treated like a "whore" in bed. I like to be called filthy names, I like to be choked, slapped, spanked, etc. So basically very rough sex. And I don't know if that's related to my past or not..
If I've never been sexually abused, would I eventually be into rough sex? No idea. But I do know my fascination for BDSM and rough sex came after I was sexually abused though.
Girlllllllllllll thanks for being so open and honest. I really appreciate. I have experienced some of the things you have and I think it definitely has an impact... So sorry for your hardships
I was abused at an early age.
My therapist told me usually one of two things happens:
- you withdraw from Life, don't want men touching you, you become a depressed sad person.
- you develop kinks and fetishes to deal with the emotional damage. It's like you are compensating for what happened to justify it in your mind.
In my case, I developed a high sex drive, have to be with a man or I get depressed and in a very bad place. This means even a man that abuses me physically or emotionally or mentally, is better than NOT having a man in my life.
It is like I am doing every thing I can to keep from having a Sucking Hole in my Soul...
Girlllllllllllll I am so glad we are friends this is literally me "you withdraw from Life, don't want men touching you, you become a depressed sad person." Like no lie!!!
I am glad we are gfs too! From 16yo to 17 yo, i was a lesbian into grunge. I dint want any men touching me, including my Foster Dad hugging me. I dint shave my legs, pits, or pubes. I dint use make up or wear deodorant. I dint cut my hair or style it. I had rat snarls in my hair. I wore the same clothes day after day until our housekeeper made me give them up to wash. I would go after Needy girls, usually the chubby insecure ones. They needed attn and I would treat them like I was treated.. controlling, they must obey me to get what they want, and often I was very mean and hurtful... hurtful with my words and during sex. I admit I enjoyed making them cry out in pain when I would bite or pinch or sometimes use a needle to poke them. it was a very dark place... and my mom put me there by taking away my Step Dad who loved me, treated me as his own daughter, and he kept me from killing myself 3 times when I was 14yo. Take away a person's support structure and they self destruct!
OMG 🤯
From first hand knowledge very much so can a victim of a sexual assault take on a new sexual fetish so as to mentality cope with the reality of their own abuse.
Like an Obese person for example. many large people clame that obesity is a self perpetuating mental disorder; because often its found that food becomes a coping mechanism for the depression which was created often from two places.
one being a bad sense of self worth, two being the food itself continuing a cycle of weight gain do to the fact that we release dopamine when we eat which adds to urge to consume, and adds the mentality of non-worth.
You see where it becomes a self fulfilling problem which if left unchecked develops in to an addiction to food and a mental disorder.
In cases of sexual abuse/ rape the search for control and self worth is just as much an issue. Often after one has gone threw a sexual assault/rape the act pf sex becomes a coping mechanism used in the attempts to find control in a situation that didn’t have any. The euphoria created from the dopamine release of sex as well as the additional release of dopamine in the case of PTSD and sex result in what people Mistake or misconstrue as control over the issue when in fact its everything, but control, and doing it over and over eventually gets said person addicted to there own dopamine production during the act of sex. Ultimately this much like the example before it creates its own cycle of addiction.
Therapy is always the better option, but if we all actually did the things we needed to do instead of the things we assume work then odds are fair we wouldn’t have as many disorders. That being said though as humans we often do the thing that feels good or makes us feel good rather than the thing that actually helps us. To summarize yes sexual abuse, assault, and rape can lead to sexual fetishes, but those fetishes are not only derive from these terrible acts, but and more so come from the need to feel in control and the depths that someone or many may go through to find that control. Well i hope I’ve answered to the best of my abilities and that someone may find help in this article.
I wanted to let you know... I really appreciate you taking the time to write this for me. It was so real and super informative. Thank you sooooooo much ⭐
I don't know of any research on this area, but I've wondered the same thing myself. Because I know several people who have been victims of sexual assault, and it always seems to affect their sexuality in some way. The only exception is when they have completely healed from the pain. But that would indicate that the behaviors they develop are some type of pain management. Not that BDSM etc is only as a result of these things, but that when sexual assault happens it seems like some sort of significant change in the way they express their sexuality happens
This was so interesting to read. Well done.
Thank you, and my pleasure
🤗🤗🤗
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!It's kind of sad to think about... But I could see them enjoying what their SO liked even though it might play into ptsd
Thanks for the reply
You are welcome
Thanks love
That's a very good possibility, Daddy/daughter fetish, simulated rape etc
Extremely helpful as always. Thanks a bunch
You know where I'm at if you would like more detailed information
Of course. I won't bother you though. It'd be intrusive.
I recently learned from a sex abuse victim that it is common for them to develop into a little (Caregiver/Little dynamic) if they were abused at a much younger age. I know according to another victim that it is common for them to become quite obsessed with sex after, especially if they had climaxed when they had been abused.
OMFG!!! I didn't know this stuff at all!!! This was extra helpful. I really appreciate it ⭐
I dont entirely know the reason behind it all. I know with the little thing they said it was because they want their innocence back and so they naturally become littles. And with the climaxing part, the chemical high in your brain from climaxing creates an addiction on something negative. So many enjoy sex after some time again but may feel guilty or have triggers that are related to the incident (s)
This resonated a lot with the me.. Well done Love
As a survivor myself I would say yes. I think my sex is rather vanilla but I think victims like us are more likely to have certain sexual obsessions. I know I do. My kink is primarily sexting or talking about sex. Or like video chat masturbation with strangers. things like that. But I would say that a lot of people into BDSM have some things going on in their past where they feel aggression needs to be released.
Christian Grey!
OMG yessssss!!! It's literally like you're in my head! Awesome feedback
Thats what she said.
Ahahahaha
Unfortunately, yes. Not always, but sometimes.
I totally agree. It's VERY unfortunate for the victims
Very
I have no idea what is normal for everyone. Personally yes I developed some
Same here. Thanks for being open and honest. It's appreciated
Wow! I'm learning a lot here I never knew that
@bklynbadboy1 it's totally a thing... Weird but true
Not for me at least but I'm sure it happens
Thanks for the feedback love
Yes I believe it's normal cause I'm a victim of sexual abuse
and I have some strange kinks, fetishes, thoughts but never
have acted out on them and another thing I've related a lot of
songs to a sexual meaning and there was no sexual meaning
behind the songs at all
Thanks so much for the honesty!
You're Welcome :)
It certainly is not uncommon :(
😭😭😭
Not really know.
Gotcha (◠‿◕)
Actually i meant to say that it is actually very common
Oh that's relieving! Thanks a bunch
Believe it or not yes..
Oh I completely believe it. No question
I’m not even sure.
No worries! Thanks for the reply though
What kind of sexual abuse did you go through?
Am surprised you were..
I don't share that on public posts but thanks for asking
Even I was abused but I kind of gave into the act. And liked it, so am responsible too for not avoiding with all the force
I think its normal for humans in general to have them so I don't know if being a victim or not matters
Thanks for the insight. I appreciate you
i guess i feel very bad for women who were victims of sexual abuse it makes all men look bad
I totally agree. Unless she was abused by a woman... Girls do it too
i never knew women sexual abuse other women
Absolutely
I don’t know for sure but it makes sense.
Thanks for the response Love
They can, they also can develop an aversion to sex.
This one is sooooooo true
Some experience can develop such kinks/fetishes. What is normal for one may be unusual for another. But yes coping mechanisms of the mind work in diverse ways and differ for each human so this is very much possible
Loveeeeeeee this answer! Thanks
Glad you like it. You're welcome
YAY!
I'd say yes without personal basis. I remember watching I Spit on Your Grave where the lead was raped and she developed this killing machine inside of her and feel pleasure while slowly killing her victims.
That’s pretty much the plot of Monster, she was a prostitute who just had enough One day and started killing her johns. She was going to kill one guy but figured out he was mentally challenged so she gave him a hand job and let him go.
OMFG that movie was crazy. I watched all three ... Me and the girl in the first one have some things in common
Spit on your grave was one helllllllll of a movie.
Not all of them develop unusual kinks but even if they do develop i dont think there is anything wrong with it and they shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed of it, i respect their prefrences 🙂🙂
Great answer!
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