Sexual Relationships
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I was going to wait to have sex with this guy I'm going out with, but I kind of want it bad too right now. Should I still wait or have sex now?

I started going out with this guy I met online a few weeks ago. I am super attracted to him in pretty much every way. However, I originally decided to wait a while before having sex. The reasoning was that if I wait to have sex guys who only want that will give up and guys who really like me will be willing to wait. The problem is I want to have sex right now really bad too. I was pretty good at first, but as time goes on I get hornier and hornier. Furthermore, with the current corona crisis the only "dates" we can really go on are over to each others' places (which obviously doesn't make things easier). For the past couple of days we've been sexting each other pretty hard core. I feel guilty about doing it, but at the same time I really enjoy it.
Part of me feels like I need to redouble my efforts to wait to have sex as to make sure he's not exclusively interested in me for sexual reasons. However, part of me wants to just forget it and have sex with him the next time I see him. Should I double down on my original decision to wait or should I forget it and just have sex?

by the way, I'm not just sexually interested in him (even though this post focuses a lot on that particular attraction). In fact, I think my emotional and intellectual attraction strengthen my physical/sexual attraction to him, which makes me want sex with him even more than if I was only physically/sexually attracted to him.
1 3

Most Helpful Guys

  • You have to do what feels right to you and accept there’s no magic answer. I’d note that if he just wants sex he might wait around a fair while for it and if he wants he relationship artificial distancing might hurt the emotional side. Not saying that’s what would happen just noting it’s not a foolproof strategy.

    I think the best advice I can give you is 1) judge his interest beyond sex in how interested he is in stuff other than sex. If you’re sexting and he gets off is he done talking to you? Does he share things and seem to care? Sure it’s possible he’s a master manipulator but most people aren’t. Most people who just want sex seem like it and allow others to imagine more is there. But they aren’t master illusionists. Second, and sort of related - try to look at him objectively. If you were giving advice to a friend in your situation would you be telling her not to be paranoid or noting red flags?

    90% of the time it’s not that unclear.

  • Take a look at these and let me know what you think.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/share-your-take?id=59202

    Relationships and How They Work ↗

Most Helpful Girl

  • Guys who just want sex can wait with you meanwhile have sex with others, then dump you after sex 🤷‍♀️

    meanwhile you wasted all that time missing out on sex for a guy who never really wanted a relationship

    irl Jocelyn the way to know if a guy just wants sex is to have sex , then see if he dumps you

    this only world if you actually want sex. Otherwise you sill feel used

    Waiting for sex if you have your OWN reasons is fine.. but waiting as a test is useless. You will not learn anything. Anyone can play a game.

    • Not irl Jocelyn Ironically *

    • So what I’m saying is. If you want to have sex and want to have sex with him, I see no reason not to. If you WANT to.

    • Believe me, I want to.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 17

  • Maybe you could try talking to him in a way that you can figure out his intentions. If he’s not pushing for it too bad like there’s no tomorrow you might be in the clear. Life’s too short, do what makes you happy.

  • A guy who would like you for you would not be dtf right away and he would not want a woman who is dtf right away.

    So why pass yourself off for what you aren't?

  • If you are very sexually frustrated then you should have sex with him and if you are worried about him leaving you after sex then dont worry he won't. In a time like this he might physical support as well as emotional support. He might actually become more closer to you after sex

  • If you feel ready just go for it

  • I'm sure both of you would enjoy it. and it HAS been a few weeks. I'd say go for it, You both probably need it.

  • Do what feels right.

  • I would say just go for it and have sex

  • Try mutual masturbation or oral to date your urge.

    • *sate

  • Go ahead, sex is fun, and if he likes you, having sex "too soon" won't hurt your chances.

  • I think you should and see if he is going to make a move because usually guys that only want sex will ask for it

  • If you want it go for it!

  • As the old saying goes, "If it feels good, do it!"

  • Go with what your gut tells you to do

  • Now isn't the time to get frisky. Besides, Western countries are re-opening much, much too soon.

  • do it then. ıf you won't do it masturbate and relax

  • Go for it, if you're already sending nudes I don't see why you just don't go with the flow and amp up the notch a bit.

  • Go for it and enjoy yourself. Just be safe about it.

  • Are you a slut or what?

    • I'm not a slut. I do have sexual desires, but I'm not out to sleep with every guy on the street. I just want to have sex with one guy I'm very attracted to

    • Be slutty for him then

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > I was going to wait to have sex with this guy I'm going out with, but I kind of want it bad too right now. Should I still wait or have sex now?