My gfs sex is boring, what should I do?

Question

Hi! I have been with a girl for about 6 months, we basicly live togheter and I really like her. But there is a problem that are pretty big for me, The sex life.
The sex is always about her, her way of wanting to have sex is kissing on my neck, when im Turned on enough she stops, and I have to either go down on her or play with her with my fingers.
She won't touch my dick unless i ask and refuse to go down on me. Sometimes she asks if i can go down on her and if i refuse she says "well you get to cum every time" and Im cumming every time, and she always cums if im going down and often under The penetration so her argument does not really work , and she have never helped me cum, im always on top and she is completly still, but it makes me feel bad when she says that so im doing what she wants.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I can make suggestions, but i'd suggest breaking up not trying to fix it. She has no initiative to please you, she doesn't respond to hints you want more, she thinks its fine as is and anything else is unreasonable.

If you're going to talk to her, I think you might want to point out she's overly fixated on orgasm - specifically yours - as being an emblem of good sex. Perhaps for her it's not that easy to orgasm, so for her 'good sex' and 'having an orgasm' are very similar. She is quite correct, it's easy for men to orgasm, but the flip side of that is 'having an orgasm' does not mean the sex was good or satisfying for a man. For men, 'having an orgasm' is sort of like 'being full after a meal'. You can eat plain porridge every day and be full, but you're never once going to go 'wow, that was a great meal'.

That said i'm not that optimistic with her, since there's a mixture of her being averse to pleasing you and thinking it's not something she needs to do. You might correct the latter, but she will never be enthusiastic about it.

My only other suggestion? Turn her on, make her orgasm, have sex a bit, then roll off, and go clean up without orgasm. If she asks why explain that you're glad she got off, but you weren't that into it, so since she'd already came, it was over.

AustinMan · Accepted Answer

It sounds strongly like you're in bed with a Domme. If she's as strongly fixed on that as it sounds, you're very unlikely to get her to change.

Another possibility is that she's such a spoiled brat that she thinks the world rotates just for her.

This suggestion has a lot of risk in it. Is it possible she's just being a bitch to see how much of her crap you'll take before you get fed up, take charge, and give her the long, hot, hard bare bottom spanking that she clearly needs and deserves.

DestinyElizabeth04 · Accepted Answer

Maybe you should try being upfront with her. Sometimes we have to be blunt in order to get our point across. She seems like a very selfish lover, which is one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to relationships. Tell her you aren't going down on her anymore until she learns to return the favor. Explain to her that you constantly doing all of the work is leaving you sexually unsatisfied and suggest spicing it up. Realistically being unsatisfied sexually in a relationship will ultimately lead to a breakup and you have to put your foot down now and try to get your needs out there before it's too late.

KitKnickKat · Accepted Answer

That’s not right! She should be helping you cum. It’s a two way effort in a relationship no matter what the situation is.
It sounds to me that there is some miscommunication going on. She complains that “you get to cum everytime” well, I don’t see why that’s even a statement from her. You should be cumming everytime?
I think you should ask her why she said that and why she truly won’t go down on you. If she’s not willing to help you or compromise for your sexual needs, then she’s not the one.

softwhelks · Answer

Can you make hints and suggestions during? Like switching positions and what not? If she doesn’t do anything try to be a bit more forceful about it, if she outright doesn’t again. Talk to her nicely about how this affects you. Don’t put her down otherwise she will be defensive. Tell her hey I love you during our time I want to feel loved and I just want to be touched more etc etc

4eyes2mouths · Answer

I would imply you try 69ing. That way you both get what you want. I understand some girls don't like to give oral but at the same time it's an important part of foreplay and if she doesn't enjoy it she should find pleasure in liking that you do. It is what it is. Everyone has to pitch in.

winterfox10 · Answer

I think you need to be talking with her about this. Tell her directly that she isn't putting in enough effort. She sounds timid at best, and straight up selfish at worst.