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My Neighbour wants me to cover up more while I'm in my own backyard. How should I handle the situation?

So my back yard is surrounded by a 6-foot wall on three sides. Behind my house it's a small alley. I have some trees growing on the alley side and the neighbor has lots of trees growing in their yard. My backyard therefore is very secluded and I have no issue walking around in a string bikini and laying out and since it's warming up, I sometimes have my morning coffee in my PJ, a tank top and panties. The other day that neighbor came to me and told me... if her boys climb a certain tree, they could see into my backyard. She told them to stop but she also said I should consider they might still look and for me to dress more appropriately. At that time I just close the door on her. Part of me feels like, well too bad, it's my yard and I'm not doing anything on purpose. The other part of me is like yikes! what have they seen? Anybody else have any issues similar to this?
Do nothing and continue feeling comfortable in my own backyard
Vote A
Be more careful of what I wear in my own backyard
Vote B
Find out which tree they are climbing and build something in front to block the view
Vote C
Demand that she cuts down that tree if the issues with her boys.
Vote D
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
0 0

Most Helpful Guys

  • There's a reason why Hillary Clinton quoted the Igbo proverb "It takes a village to raise a child" meaning all of us are involved and that means that, sometimes, we need others in our community to help with our kids just like we'd help with their kids.

    This problem is an example of why this quote is applicable here.

    Everything you said is true - it's your yard and, to within legal limits, you are free to do what you wish to do. At the same time, she's right - her boys will look... that's the way boys are.

    You need a compromise. Perhaps do it when you know they're not home. Or, perhaps get a privacy screen / room divider - like the kind used in the past behind which a person would get changed.

    For example:
    www.amazon.com/.../b?ie=UTF8&node=3734261

    So, when you are about to go out being somewhat skimpy, perhaps take a privacy screen with you and set it up so it's close enough to give you privacy from that tree view, but still enable you to enjoy the sun and great outdoors.

    I'm wondering - how did the neighbor know about all of this?

    • @abc3643 I totally disagree! She is in HER yard, and there is a privacy fence! She can run around bare-assed NAKED, in HER YARD if she wants. Legally, that the kids are climbing a tree to look, if that is really their intent, or just the neighbor's BS attempt to control something they don't like, is a matter for the courts. Kids, climbing the tree, with the intent to violate the PRIVACY of the Fence, sounds like a "Peeping Tom' legal case, and as the children are minors, and the parent has apparently attempted to stop them from invading the woman's privacy, it sound like the parent will be liable in the court case. As for the suggestion that the women that is being 'assaulted' by being spied on, spend money to erect a screen, when she already has a legal privacy fence, is nothing more than just controlling, rights violating nonsense!! How dare you blame the victim, and say she needs to cover, with a screen in the privacy of her own home? So I guess you would assume, then, with that argument, that a woman wearing a short skirt, or shorts, that got raped, should have covered up, so it wouldn't have happened. Blaming the victim, again?

    • @JackSmy I don't disagree with what you are saying. And, no, I am not blaming the victim. At the same time, civilization functions because we make compromises and sometimes have to do what we don't want to do for the sake of enabling that civilization to continue to survive. I will simply add a couple of comments: 1. Boys are boys and they are going to do what they are going to do until there is serious repercussions. 2. So, the privacy screen protects her privacy until they stop. 3. Which may happen quickly because the privacy screen will discourage them from the practice. Meanwhile, we have a Law & Order teachable moment: While I agree she is entirely within her rights another question to ask is, are the boys within their rights to climb trees and see what they see? If it's the intent to "violate privacy" what if the privacy being violated is the commission of a crime? (Like in the movie "Rear Window.) Again, I don't really disagree with you but I never blamed the victim.

    • @abc3643 Please accept my apology, but it did sound, as if you were blaming her. I still think that she is well within her rights, in her yard, with a privacy fence, and as I said, she can run around naked, there, if she wants! With the kids climbing the tree, are they actually doing that, and with the intent to view her, or is that some excuse the parent made to complain about something that they, personally find objectionable!! OMG, anyone can find something to complain about, if they want, but part of life is accepting that we live with others, and finding a reasonable way to live, side by side!! I live next to a house of younger people, in their mid-twenties, maybe!! Beer bottles, and cigarette butts in my back yard, and driveway, sometimes. I laugh, remembering being that age, and I talk to the guy that owns the house. Put the beer bottles in my recycle bin, if you need to, but if I get a flat tire, from a bottle cap, in my driveway, you're paying! We have a good rapport, because I just talked to him, like those neighbors need to! Heck, they invite me over when they are grilling out, and we have a good time!!

  • Turn this around... What if you caught her boys running around their own yard in speedos? Would you just turn your head or would your neighbor think you were justified to scold her for "Allowing them to dress like that in their own yard"?

    Would your neighbor tell you to "Don't look" and consider it a "Your problem" and not her's?

    I say, your yard, your fashion show. If she is so concerned with "What her boys watch" then I would hope she would be more attentive to when your in your yard and call her boys in and keep her boys on their leash.

    • Your yard, your fashion show, I love it, hahaha & Bravo as well.

Most Helpful Girls

  • You dont have to do anything honey just be comfortable whatever way u feel
    Nobody has any right to tell you otherwise as you are in your own house n not theirs

    • Thanks for MHO honey

  • ask him why are you looking in my back yard long as there's a fence you have the right to be totally naked if you want to

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 32

  • It's up to you, I'd be a good neighbor

  • Call the city, and file a complaint that your neighbor is invading your privacy, and the use of your back yard, and that you have a 6 foot fence. File a 'peeping Tom' complaint.

  • Some say help thy neighbor however sometimes you have to say fuck thy neighbor! On the other hand her boys probably aren’t the problem her husband is & I’m sure he’s a peeper & loving every minute of it. Call all your girlfriends & have them come over for a back yard beach party & give the peeper a real show.

  • Tell your neighbor to keep his pervy eyes to himself

  • Let me get this straight, her sons are climbing a tree to see into your back yard and she is trying to tell you what to do on your own property.

    Got to love parents that will not take responsibility and parent their kids, but want someone else to change their ways so that they don't have to deal with their misbehaving kids and discipline them.

    Her kids are totally in the wrong here, she needs to deal with this and stop trying to make you the scapegoat.

    Enjoy your back yard, as you like.

  • It’s your yard, wear what you want. If you suspect a peeping Tom call the police. If those kids are looking at you, likely they are climbing other trees also.

  • I think your fine, it’s your yard. Maybe just stick to thongs and not g strings. I’m sure the boys will enjoy themselves. Was there dad looking too? Check the upstairs bedroom. I’m sure he has a bird eye view up there.

  • Don't worry about it and keep on doing what you do. She will take them to the beach someday and they will see a lot more than they would see in your backyard.

  • In one sense it's none of her business what you do on your own property and she needs to control her own kids. It's not like you're having out nude in your back yard and what does she do when they go to the beach put blind folds on her boys cause there's plenty of women in string bikinis at the beach. She's probably just jealous cause you're in such good shape and still look sexy after having four kids.

  • if its your household. you can do whatever you want. provided it is not illegal that is.

  • Your neighbor can stop looking.

  • That tree represents a risk to the mother. She can eliminate the problem by preventing the kids from climbing the tree. Insofar as you have provided reasonable prevention of being watched (6-foot wall), you have fulfilled reasonable discretion. And I note you aren't even naked. The kids could see much the same thing at the beach or public pool.

  • I hope you haven't been topless or bottomless; otherwise I think it is completely your neighbors problem and not yours.

  • Show the boys something really extraordinary and enjoy to know that their Dad now has to answer questions he's rather want to avoid.
    If interviewed: it just did not happen :D

  • Call the cops and get them arrested

  • It’s funny that she’s more concerned with you covering up in your own yard than she is with the fact that her kids are climbing trees spying on people lol

  • Do nothing but if she makes an issue... it's her issue so get her to cut down the tree if she refused she can move

  • dude you are in your own backyard, and it has fences and shit, if they dont like it then they can always keep their kids indoors, what those kids do aren't your responsibility, they should keep their kids indoors, you do what you want in your own home, what if you wanna tan, now you can't tan because of their stupid kids, i hate people like that

  • Hmmm well you're in your own yard and you're not disrupting the neighbors.

    I mean if anything you should be the one complaining to them. Cause her kids are the ones spying on you.

    I mean let's say you were in your bathroom getting ready to shower and the kid climbs the tree and watched you through your bathroom window.

    I mean what the hell is the mother going to say? Cover up yourself while you're getting ready to shower?

    For me it just sounds like poor parenting. You can't control your kid so everyone else has to change...

    If things gets too out of hand I'd say file a complaint. Cause you wearing a bikini in your own yard is not a crime.

  • Who cares if they see? Be flattered they want to see

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