Sexual Relationships
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How will I ever know if he has feelings for me or am I going to be his booty call for another 10 years?

Our SEX is great but we have never discussed feelings or why we hook up for all these years?
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+1 y
Help me need to know now once and for all, wot do I actually ask him? I thought about trying to get a reaction from making him jealous but I don't know if he would be? He really is in my head 247.. or should I ask him to delete my number now as can't go been booty call, cos I wanna start dating? How do know? Help me, ? But I don't wanna come across as I into him as I am?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • The two of you are Friends With Benefits. The reason I know that is because to be in a romantic relationship, you have to actually DISCUSS being in a romantic relationships, and for the most part, you have to do that from the beginning.

    Clearly you didn't have that discussion, so, by default, you are FWBs. And the ONE RULE of friends with benefits is that you agree not to ever have any expectations of feelings with your "friend." Because friends with benefits means casual sex with a friend at your mutual convenience, and NOTHING MORE.

    For him, clearly, this is all this is: casual sex, and he'll be happy to enjoy that forever. But that doesn't mean he's got or will ever develop ROMANTIC feelings for you, because for the most part, that's not how guys get romantic feelings. Guys either have romantic feelings for a girl from the very start (generally with his first significant interaction with her), or they never have them. This is why it's so important to discuss that UP FRONT.
    I'm well aware that women often develop feelings for a guy if she has sex with him, especially multiple times, but guys don't work that way. All the sex in the world won't make most guys develop romantic feelings if they didn't have them from the start.

    So, now you know, and now you have to make a decision.

    • Yeah when I 1st started to read your reply I thought yep u were right but at the beginning he did ask me OUT I kinda laffed itt off and then other times offered to take me breakfast etc... I kinda brushed invites off and then other times I asked him when very drunk n had courage but think I'd obviously blown my chances so feel like we both won't back down nor show we care? Wtf, I've thought about him everyday 247 I just wanna be with him?

    • Well, all you can really do is talk to him about it and see what he thinks.

  • Let him know you like him a lot but you feel the relationship is going nowhere. Tell him you want zero contact for a month and then you can get back together in a non sexual setting and discuss the future. He will try argue you down or sex you to make you give in. Don't. Absolutely don't call him. And be prepared that he will ghost you.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 4

  • this is something you just thought of? all these years, must have been living with a lusty mind, do you really care if he sees you as anything else cause for these 10 years you didn't 🤷🏽‍♂️

    • Yes cos for 10years I've ALWAYS wanted to know, is it just the hot SEX? But I feel he feels same yet both 2 scared to talk?

    • i dont know about that, dont hold your breath, just ask him, what you got to lose besides some dick, i doubt y'all would stop fucking tho, if he isn't going out of his way for you to do kind stuff or unnecessary stuff then he probably does have feelings, if he calls and drives to clap your cheeks and you dont hear from him until the next cheek clapping then booty call is probably what you are.

    • is going out of his way*

    • Show All

  • Start asking what he is feeling before, during, and after and see how the answers compare.

    • ? What like before , during and after I know answer to them all it's WANT YA SEX, during YA SEX is great, and after get ass round next week 4 more YA SEX?

    • Can you advise wot kinda thing I could ask?

    • See what he sees a few years down the road? If he has ever thought about long term? for starters Curious thought if you guys have the same/similar interests, and outlooks would be a good pointer.

    • Show All

  • He probably thinks that he can have that ass anytime

    • And he can but I really need a someone to spend time with as well as SEX...

    • Need a man that can do both

  • You'd likely be his booty call.

  • Talk to him

    • I have tried sent drunken texts, love songs etc... he's done same he's a bit older but it's as if we are constantly thinking about each other yet don't have a conversation go weeks without contact? It's driving me crazy now, ?

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