I wanna stop sleeping with boyfriend? HELP?

Question

We’ve been together 8 months and our relationship is heavily based around sex. We have a lot of it and he says it’s the best he’s ever had etc etc. We have a harmonious relationship and are really well matched. He’s not a player but he’s a good man. BUT I decided that I want to stop having sex until I’m married possible. It doesn’t feel right anymore since I am religious in my heart and feel bad. Since our relationship is so heavily based on sex etc, I don’t know how he will take it? And he’s 30 if that helps at all. Guys what would you do in a situation like that?

Updates:

6 mo

I’m getting a few useless comments, so I gotta clarify. We’ve been together for 8 months and what part of “hea a good man” do you not understand?

My question: How then will he take it?

Answer 1

hellionthesagereborn | 1.6K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

Okay, so you have been sleeping with him, but now suddenly you want to play virgin and wait until marriage and this has to do with religion how exactly? You already lost your virginity (I'm guessing before this guy which will make this much much worse (why him, why not with the other guys, why go 8 months of no issue to suddenly changing your mind, do you not love him, are you not sexually attracted to him, is he not good enough for you or not pleasing you during sex etc. etc. etc.), that's not coming back. Now if you wanted to start fresh BEFORE the relationship, it wouldn't have been an issue, but nearly a year in and suddenly you want to radically alter the dynamic and how you interact and take away something that had always been available before? Yeah, that's going to be an issue. Thats kind of like him saying he doesn't want to take you out, buy you flowers, or cuddle with you until marriage, why the hell would that be a thing now if he had been doing it before? I mean its your right to do it, but its going to cause some problems as it is clearly arbitrary and is happening long after the fact.

Answer 2

AndyOh | 2.7K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

If your relationship is 'based heavily on sex' and then you stop the play... My questions would be, will it start up again? What if you change your mind and decide we are having too much? Or decide that what we did before is bad and now we need to tone it down.
In other words, I would worry that you are changing too much.
And, if you are feeding him good sex and you stop... and expect him to stop too... I don't see that as being a good thing for you two.
So, probably not too well.

AndyOh

6 mo
Thanks for the MHO>
I hope you decided what to do and it is working out. :)

Answer 3

AndyOh

Thanks for the MHO>
I hope you decided what to do and it is working out. :)

Answer 4

AustinMan | 39K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Influencer

If you want to marry him, do it but I doubt he'll stick around if you're right and the relationship has its basis in sex. I suggest you keep having sex with him and find peace with that.

Answer 5

MangoB83

Xper 6

You gotta talk to him about this. If it’s really bothering you and he loves you, he should respect your feelings. You should really talk with him if you plan to get married to get his opinion on it. Better than being with him for years and then finding out then that he doesn’t ever want to get married.

Answer 6

Cellestial | 2.7K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

He will be disappointed for sure! Think about it, going from a lot of the best sex of your life over almost a year to 0 sex, out from it out of nowhere. However, I don't think you could handle it yourself, because you will probably feel the urge and get back to having a lot of sex, especially that you know he would jump on you the moment he knows you're struggling to keep resisting your body needs.

Answer 7

Twalli | 11K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

I want sex in my relationship. I don't care how much, but I do want it. Mayne try to scale back the sex a bit. Far too many people are only together because of the sex. It's good to find out if that's all you have holding you together

Answer 8

0112358 | 12.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

I imagine it will set you on a path to breaking up, even if the relationship isn't based only on sex.

Answer 9

bklynbadboy1 | 4.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

I'm sorry but you can't stop now once you've opened that door you can't close it plus it seems like you have a great relationship why mess it up? Have you heard of the saying if it ain't broke dont fix it

Answer 10

SomeGuyCalledTom | 1.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Yoda

Is this really about religion? Coz it doesn't seem like your God had a problem with it these last 8 months...

Asker

6 mo
I also didn’t have a problem with it

Answer 11

Asker

I also didn’t have a problem with it

Answer 12

Jeff9743 | 161 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

Well if I were him, I would respect your decision. But, he might just want that? I dunno

Answer 13

Dargil | 29.1K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

He is likely to exit the relationship. He would see it as creating separation. I would.

Asker

6 mo
No he wouldn’t exit because he depends on me
Dargil

6 mo
So he is codependent. You could theoretically control and manipulate him as you please.
But because "our relationship is heavily based around sex." and you are substantially weakening the central pillar of your relationship, you might just wean him, which cold be the best thing for him before a binding marital commitment lessens his options.
Asker

6 mo
I don’t understand the last part of your answer
Show All Show Less
Dargil

6 mo
What don't you understand?
Asker

6 mo
Before a binding marital commitment..
Dargil

6 mo
It is certain that separation would not be limited to sex. There are other elements of control because
"he depends on me". Once you are married, his making change to being more equally yoked would become harder. I support your taking this action so he can self-evaluate.

Answer 14

Asker

No he wouldn’t exit because he depends on me

Answer 15

Dargil

So he is codependent. You could theoretically control and manipulate him as you please.
But because "our relationship is heavily based around sex." and you are substantially weakening the central pillar of your relationship, you might just wean him, which cold be the best thing for him before a binding marital commitment lessens his options.

Answer 16

Asker

I don’t understand the last part of your answer

Answer 17

Dargil

What don't you understand?

Answer 18

Asker

Before a binding marital commitment..

Answer 19

Dargil

It is certain that separation would not be limited to sex. There are other elements of control because
"he depends on me". Once you are married, his making change to being more equally yoked would become harder. I support your taking this action so he can self-evaluate.

Answer 20

lawhawk84 | 744 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 5

He probably won't be happy about it. Why not just ask to slow it down and not do it so much instead of stopping entirely?

Asker

6 mo
Yes you’re right. I just had that thought before I read your answer

Answer 21

Asker

Yes you’re right. I just had that thought before I read your answer

Answer 22

blutwolfe | 1.2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

So he's using you for sex and you wanna be valued for something more, it's not uncommon

Asker

6 mo
No it’s not as bad as I make it sound. We both enjoy sex but I recently had an epiphany that I want to become celibate
blutwolfe

6 mo
Well an epiphany is not a good thing especially for stability, if it's heavy on sex and you immediately cut him off, one of two things will happen, y'all break up or get married. Breaking up has a higher chance of happening
Asker

6 mo
No I think getting married is more likely to happen with us. We are very happy

Answer 23

Asker

No it’s not as bad as I make it sound. We both enjoy sex but I recently had an epiphany that I want to become celibate

Answer 24

blutwolfe

Well an epiphany is not a good thing especially for stability, if it's heavy on sex and you immediately cut him off, one of two things will happen, y'all break up or get married. Breaking up has a higher chance of happening

Answer 25

Asker

No I think getting married is more likely to happen with us. We are very happy

Answer 26

Browneye57 | 7.4K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

That ship has already sailed.
That horse is already out of the barn.
That bridge has already burned down.
That steak has already been eaten.

If you reject him now it will not end well. I guarantee it.

Browneye57

6 mo
If you feel guilty or embarassed for sex out of wedlock, then just get married. Buy a license, appear before a judge.

Marriage isn't about the ceremony, or the reception, it's about the moral covenant under god.
And the more you spend on the wedding the higher the chance it will fail.

Answer 27

Browneye57

If you feel guilty or embarassed for sex out of wedlock, then just get married. Buy a license, appear before a judge.

Marriage isn't about the ceremony, or the reception, it's about the moral covenant under god.
And the more you spend on the wedding the higher the chance it will fail.

Answer 28

Numbnuts89

Xper 7

A sexless relationship, is not a relationship

That's a friendship, with a relationship label. GET OVER IT

Answer 29

7771999 | 429 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Explorer

Do you have to stop completely? Why not make a gradual change?

Answer 30

V12NI | 73 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

If you want to stop then stop. It's your choice, you do whatever you want

Answer 31

namelessking1 | 63 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 4

As u are talking about it looks like more friends with benefits then commitment for more

Asker

6 mo
No we’ve been committed for 8 months now

Answer 32

Asker

No we’ve been committed for 8 months now

Answer 33

COMMODOREII | 12.9K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Master

I wouldn't wait till marriage sorry.

Answer 34

standingUP | 199 opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Xper 6

TOO LATE sinner

Asker

6 mo
Fuck u cunt
standingUP

6 mo
I thought you wanted to quit that, but sure bitch rip em down I gotchya
Asker

6 mo
And you’re 49? 😂 oh lord

Answer 35

Asker

Fuck u cunt

Answer 36

standingUP

I thought you wanted to quit that, but sure bitch rip em down I gotchya

Answer 37

Asker

And you’re 49? 😂 oh lord

Answer 38

Anonymous

I would leave her if she cut me off.

Answer 39

Joker_ | 2K opinions shared on Sexuality topic.

Guru

Why?

I wanna stop sleeping with boyfriend? HELP?

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