Why do certain people, choose to become bisexual or become a lesbian over just being straight?

[Erica34]

So, My best friend and I spoke yesterday, and she confess how she wants to live on the edge a little an explorer. I questioned her on what she meant by exploring, so I took a guess, and I said, please tell me, that you're not turning into a lesbian. And she said No, maybe bisexual. She's like you only live once so why not. In my mind I thought that she was playing until I was like are you for real. And she was being serious, she also had mention how she has been putting a lot of time and thinking about it. But I get it. both her and I haven't had the best relationships with men, emotionally, mentally sexually, or romantically. And I know it's never a good feeling, when you feel like you're being used by everybody. Or being let down when you actually start to like someone new. Or things just doesn't work out as planned. I get it, have had to question my sexuality before when I was much younger. Why - I watched a lot of girl on girl porn, and kind of would get off to it. But over the years, it felt wrong and awkward. I don't have an issues with seeing another vagina, but I'll never touch, fuck, kiss, or lick another chick. I'm sure my friend thought the same thing too. But, I know myself- and I haven't had the best relationships most recently with guys. Sometimes I hate them MFs, but I still enjoy getting dic$ , like if I want it lol, hehe. But besides that I know that she was talking about becoming bisexual. But why give up on guys half way, can't see just wait on god and the right me. But just in general, why do certain people go from straight to bisexual or two straight lesbian. I don't judge and I try not to. But I just don't see her being with another another chick. So why start now?

[Herbie_Otch]

You can't choose who you're attracted to, you're just attracted to them. She is most likely finding herself attracted to other women, or at least the idea of exploring being with them. My wife is bisexual, though she's more into men than she is with women, and has never wanted to be in a serious, committed relationship with a woman, so her experimentation has never been a problem for us. It could be that your friend just wants the same thing; to see what it's like to experience the things she's finding she can't help but fantasize about, but will primarily be with men. But even if she does find she enjoys being with women as much or more than being with men, don't you want her to be happy?

While she can't control what or who arouses her, you're right that she does have a choice whether or not to act on those feelings. But if she's not in a committed relationship currently, I'm having a hard time seeing why you'd be upset to see her "go down that route," as you say. Simply put, the reasons you say you have a problem with it don't seem like real problems to me.

She can get STDs? Straight people pass STDs around all the time. I'm no doctor, but I'm fairly sure that penetrative sex (penis in vagina or anal sex) is far more likely to transmit serious STDs than going down on a woman, using a strapon or scissoring. Sure, she'll want to find clean partners and take precautions, but STDs in general shouldn't be any harder for her to avoid with other women than the are with men.

She's to pretty? I'm not sure what you mean by that. Are you saying that bisexual and bi-curious people don't want or deserve attractive partners? Do you think she wants to try being with an ugly girl or an attractive girl? I don't really like society's standards regarding what's considered beautiful, as I'm personally of the opinion that almost all people are beautiful and there is someone for everyone. But all that aside, let's say she is objectively gorgeous. Why does that mean she shouldn't explore her sexuality? If her beauty attracts men, you can bet there are women out there it will attract as well. If she decides to look for another man after exploring this desire, went she still be just as beautiful to men as she is now? I don't understand why being pretty means she should limit herself when it comes to experiencing the things she wants to experience.

[Herbie_Otch]

Life is short. If you know you're only attracted to one sex, that's great for you. But that's not the case for someone else, and that person finds him/herrself wanting to try something else, or if they're struggling to find enjoyment in their relationships and be truly happy in life, why not spend the previous time we have here finding what does make them happy and being them enjoyment? The last thought I'll leave you with for now is this: I understand from reading your other questions that you like sex, and that you have had many partners, and that even when you're not into a guy on an emotional level, you are ok with being with someone just for sex. Am I wrong? If that's the case, surely you understand the impulse to want to be with sometime just for sex, right? One of those friends with benefits hookups for casual pleasure doesn't mean you're suddenly unavailable, should the right guy come along and want something more serious, right? Don't you think the same could be true for your friend? You don't stop yourself from hooking up with someone when you're horny and think it will bring you physical pleasure, so why should your friend stop herself? Having casual sex to figure out what makes her happy isn't going to stop her if the right guy comes along either, so why encourage her not to do it? You said you don't judge. But saying you're disappointed in a friend for wanting to explore what it's like to address some of the urges she has, and see whether it makes her happier, seems a little judgmental to me. As long as everything is consensual and nobody's getting hurt, why not let her do her thing and you keep doing yours?

[Ogopogo]

You don't have to be attracted to somebody to enjoy having sex with them. I've known many women who were beautiful but I wasn't attracted to per se but I'd have been happy to sleep with had they expressed interest. I've known women I wasn't attracted to at first but the attraction grew as I got to know them. So I think it's entirely possible that someone who isn't drawn to their own sex, but isn't repulsed either, would be interested in trying it out with a person they find objectively beautiful, and then if they enjoy it they might change how they identify either because they just liked the experience, or because they've been burned too many times by more visceral attractions and want that element out of their lives. And then perhaps for some those connections can grow into a deeper attraction once they become closer, just as hetero people can grow from indifference into attraction.

[prolifer]

As your friend put it rightly, to explore and to live on the edge.
While it doesn't guarantee you being happier in the relationship, you get exploration points for sure that may/ may not help you in your life, like every other experience.

[Erica34]

But. I just can't see her with another girl.

[prolifer]

As in any other girl except you?

[Erica34]

I know but I feel like she shouldn't go down that route. She is way to gorgeous! And she can still catch a transmitted disease. I did ask her why? And she said at least with a female you don't have to worry about using condoms or worry about getting pregnant. Ok. But shit STD's still exist too. My current hook up and I done it two different times one last year and another this year. He has surgery so he can't produce And makes babies. And we definitely do not use protection. But, we both try to stay safe! he pulls out before he explodes. Yes, I'm putting myself at risk, by doing that. But again, I don't mess around like that, nor does he.

[Erica34]

And I'm not into that shit. I love her and all. But, I'm good.

[Erica34]

I'm just a bit disappointed

[Anonymous]

The problem with dating women is that you find out they can be just as bad for you as men have been.

[Erica34]

I'm guessing you have had experience

[Opinion Owner]

Not a lot of experience (only two girlfriends so far); but my mom started dating women after my father died (as he was abusive). However, she ended up with two abusive girlfriends and an abusive wife. So she learned that it wasn't about the gender of the person she was dating but their personality type. Fortunately, she is now in a loving relationship with a nice guy.

[Quackthulu]

Well, that may be the dumbest thing I have seen anyone say in a while.

[ImHere22]

Yea, so no, it's not okay for the two of you to think that it's cool for anyone to just decide to be sexually, emotionally, etc attracted to one over the other and vice versa. I'm bisexual, like actually bisexual. I didn't just 'think about it' for a whopping month after a breakup. Actual people who are LBGTQIA, etc. don't wake up one day and think they're now attracted to men as opposed to women a day before or whatever you think it's like.

Y'all want to experiment? Okay, but make sure you tell whoever you talk to or hang out with that's from that community that you're not actually gay or bisexual; you think it's all only about sex, and not about existing where you are not persecuted because of you're part of the LGBTQ community.

[abbie_wright]

You can't choose wtf

[Erica34]

What you mean

[Erica34]

What do you mean

[abbie_wright]

you can't choose your sexuality lmao thats the dumbest shit I've seen

[Erica34]

But why are some people changing from something into another, especially if they have never been that way before. And lol OK

[abbie_wright]

I don't know maybe they want to experiment? its not really anyones place to judge

[Erica34]

I know but I feel like she shouldn't go down that route. She is way to gorgeous! And she can still catch a transmitted disease. I did ask her why? And she said at least with a female you don't have to worry about using condoms or worry about getting pregnant. Ok. But shit STD's still exist too. My current hook up and I done it two different times one last year and another this year. He has surgery so he can't produce And makes babies. And we definitely do not use protection. But, we both try to stay safe! he pulls out before he explodes. Yes, I'm putting myself at risk, by doing that. But again, I don't mess around like that, nor does he.

[abbie_wright]

Well, I don't really see how that is relevant, it's no shit that you can get STDs but you can get them with both same-sex relationships and heterosexual ones, she's living her life and your living yours. Who cares if she's "too gorgeous" she can still like girls lmao it doesn't mean anything of significance..

[Erica34]

Yes I agree. I just pray she continues to think more about this and make the right decision

[abbie_wright]

'right decision' as in?

[Erica34]

Not be with another girl.

[abbie_wright]

whys that?