Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is there something wrong with me?

heyy everyone! i’ve been wondering if something’s wrong with me for a while now. i’m 19 and i’m a virgin; i’m not planning on losing my virginity until i find someone who’s worth it and get married; since i’m a very religious person. the thing is; i don’t know why but i’m kind of scared of any sexual interaction? i mean i’m not asexual but every time i think about it i get anxious because of several reasons. i think even though it sounds ridiculous, i’m a bit scared that it will hurt? i’m a baby when it comes to these things and my pain threshold is pretty low so maybe that’s why i’m scared... also every time i think about my first time having sex, i somehow imagine that everything will go wrong and because there’s something “wrong with me” (there is probably not, it’s probably just my anxiety) i won’t be able to have sex? for some weird reason? i don’t know, my mind and anxiety just try to make me feel as anxious as they can i guess. also, i think i’m a bit insecure about my body, so that’s also a bonus... well, did anyone else feel like that before they first had sex? is it painful? should i be worried about anything, especially “not doing it properly”? (i don’t even know what that means but i somehow feel like because i’m from a religious family and no one talks about these things, i won’t be able to do it properly... i know it’s weird) thanks already for all the replies; much love.
0 1

Most Helpful Guys

  • Nothing wrong with you we have all kinda gone through this same thing I was dating g a girl who wanted and felt the same as you we started out as friends but the more we talked about it the more braver she became and we were good good friends so she new she could trust me one night drinking both a little to much she asked me would I rather be hanging out with a girl that. Didn't feel the way she did I said yes lmao I we both laugh she asked me do I ever think about having sex I told her 59 min of every hr because that's how long it takes me to masturbate lol she asked dies it really I said yes then she said she does that to I was teasing her and ssid we shoukd do it together some time she said can we do it tonight I said yes well we did it and the next day the next weekend we were goingbto go to a club and she said she didn't want to go she wanted to masturbate together again both faceing each other she said have I ever masturbated a girl before I said yes and I coukd see she just wet her self. As I watched I got up. And got a blind fold I said put this on and let me masturbate you she want sure of it but then said yes we went in to my bed room got on my bed as I was rubbing her pussy I whisper do u trust me she said yes. I told her I wanted to make it the best for her I was goin to kiss her she said ok anyway so many things we did that night was so hot i think im out of texting space lol

  • doesn't sound like anything wrong with you tbf, and everything you described and concerned about is natural, i recall when i was a virgin, at some point or another I've either asked or heard those very questions come up...

    if you feel pain from intercourse is is because either

    1) it's being done wrong
    2) you dont have enough lubrication, either more foreplay or some water based lube will help with that
    3) or they are bigger or you are tighter than you can deal with

    however pain during sex done right if you experience any will not always be a bad pain, if anything it can be quite pleasureable... not only that but most of the issues with anything new or that you haven't tried before is the anxiety and apprehension of actually trying it... and in many cases, relax... take your time... your partner should know that you are inexperienced in sex and should by rights not rush things... if he does then he isn't the right one for you... and isn't cared about whether you enjoy the experience too, and is focused only on whether he enjoys is...
    also trust in your partner is a big deal

    it will help to ease any anxiety and doubts too

    but good choice to hold off until you met someone who is worthy of sharing that experience with
    and good luck

    • thank you so much!

    • you are welcome :)

Most Helpful Girls

  • Nah, sex is way overrated and honestly, you are not missing anything by not having it or by waiting. It is way less important in a relation than other things in life like togetherness, holding hands or just hugging and kissing.

    Now, as for losing your virginity, it can hurt but does not have to when you break your hymen. There are different types of hymens and you may have broken yours without your knowledge. If you are the sporty type of person or ride regularly a bicycle, there is a real chance that you broke your hymen. Stretching exercises and other gymnastics can tear the hymen.

    If you still have your hymen intact, then it might bleed and hurt a little but if you have a husband that is comprehensive and does not rush things, then it will not hurt overwhelmingly.

    Take your time with being intimate. There is absolutely no rush.

    • aw, thanks so much, that really helped!

  • Every girl reacts differently to that. My first experience wasn’t perfect. Like not at all. I was 20. There was no blood but It was painful, and there was a veeeery long foreplay because my vagina just wouldn’t open up even though it was wet. I hated it honestly. And I didn’t want to try again for a while. I felt pain on my second and third time too but it wasn’t that bad. Some experience severe pain, some don’t feel a thing and enjoy it from the very beginning.
    The more you try it, the better it gets lol. It’s nothing really wow or magical as in the movies at first. But once you get to know what you like it becomes a real pleasure.

    • ah, thanks so much! honestly that’s also what im kinda scared of, what if it doesn’t open up... oh god. but thanks a lot, that really did make me feel better!

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 12

  • I don't know what that other comment was so I I'll try to help.

    You know when you worry about going back to school after holidays, or work, or you worry about any new thing you're going to get thrown into, might be your first time going to a party or generally being afraid of embarrassing yourself in front of others?

    But, when you do any of those things, it turns out the crazy imagination you had was waaay over the top and you actually managed just fine, even if it did make you feel nervous. Everybody gets embarrassed too, the more confident you can handle it the better.

    I won't get into the details of the other part so much, I'm sure some fine ladies will put in their valuable opinion there; but to generalise a bit... there's stages to everything, you shouldn't just be jumping into full blown hardcore sex... you might experiment gradually leading up to that 'big event' you've built up in your mind!

    Find a decent guy who really likes you, be confident if you have body issues and you can improve then do that, if you can't accept who you are - people come in all shapes and sizes and men are attracted to EVERYTHING, so don't worry so much... right?

    Also, don't hide behind religion as an excuse to not have sex. It's a terrible idea. Plenty of good lessons to be learned from religion but it's your life, you are entitled to your freedom.

    • thank you so much, that was really helpful!

  • No not at all, and your concern isn't completely unwarranted. It hurts, at least a little, the first time for most women. It's to be expected. But of course, the pain can be minimized with lots of foreplay and by being as gentle as possible--which makes it that much more important that you only have sex with someone you trust. However, it shouldn't hurt anymore after your first time. It should just be a one-time thing, and never hurt again.

    • yes, i’m glad! thank you so much

  • Yes, there is something wrong with you. But Kurt Vonnegut said this:
    In an insane world, the sane person must appear insane.

    Stay the path.

  • What should be wrong about it? If you don't want it's okay. It's your body. Just as someone doesn't want to drink alcohol. Problem is more that the society will see it much more as a "problem". Do it your way

  • i can see why you are anxious, but im sure if the guy cares about you, he will make sure to make it as painless as possible, there will be love instead of lust, just do it when you are ready and it would all be fine and go good if its with the right person, dont stress too much about it missy

    • thank you so much, you’re right!

    • 😁🙏💯

  • well im a virgin at 22 and have every plan to lose it, i dont care about it and hold no value on my virginity,
    i would give it away to anyone who wants to take it... yet no one even wants to claim it,
    there must be something really wrong with me

  • I personally don't think it's good to wait with sex 'til marriage.

  • Very common. You just need to get an understanding boyfriend

    • oh thank god that its common! thank you!

    • Of course. And not just women. Men are pretty insecure about their first time too.

  • If dogs can do it, humans can do it. :)

    Birds do it, bees do it,
    even educated fleas do it,
    let's do it! Let's fall in love!
    In Spain the best upper sets do it.
    Lithuanians and Letts do it.
    Let's do it! Let's fall in love!
    The Dutch in Old Amsterdam do it!
    No to mention the Finns!
    Folks in Siam do it!
    Think of Siamese twins!
    Some Argentines, without means, do it!
    People say in Boston, even beans do it!
    Let's do it! Let's fall in love!

    • lmao

    • :) :)

  • You're absolutely normal for feeling this way. Sex isn't like in porn. It's not just harmless fun. It's incredibly intimate and you want to share yourself with someone you're excited about. It will probably hurt the first few times, but if you're aroused and you want to pleasure the person you're with, you'll have a reason to stick it out. It'll get better in no time. Be patient and don't worry!

    • thanks so much, that really made me feel better!

  • It probably will hurt at the beginning, but since you really love the person and they really love you it shouldn't be that bad. After a few times it shouldn't hurt at all. At least that's what my sister said. My girlfriend never hurt, so there's a slight possibility it won't hurt. As for being bad at it, if your husband is also a virgin, he won't know. Generally you aren't very good at the beginning, but the more you do it the better you get. Since he'll know you are a virgun he won't expect too much if he's expierenced. The most important thing to remember is you are sharing a very personal relationship with a single other person who you trust completely.

    • thank you so much, you’re right!

  • Well. Not wanting to have sex with just anyone is the right mindset to have

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