Boyfriend insulted my sexual performance?

Anonymous
Hi there,

So, generally speaking, me and my boyfriend have a good sex life. We have sex almost every day and I know that I really enjoy it.

Tonight, my boyfriend thought itd be fun to watch porn. I‘m always a bit hesitant because it‘s not really what I go to to turn myself on. I agree anyway and we watch it.

Every now and then we talked about the positions the people in the porn were in, what the guy was doing and what the girl was doing. Then I happened to ask ‘what does a girl do to be good in bed?‘ And my boyfriend essentially said what the girl in the porn was doing, i, e., doing the moves herself and not just lying there and letting the guy do everything. Then I stupidly asked if I was good in bed, expecting that he’d say ‘yeah of course’. Instead he said jokingly ‘you just sleep’. And I know he was joking but it really hurt my feelings. I really try to make more moves myself but it mostly happens that he takes control (because I prefer that mostly). Of course it depends what mood I’m in. But I’m not too confident in taking the lead really and I do prefer the guy dominating as opposed to me.

Once he said this, I was completely turned off and irritated with him. It felt like the person I trusted the most was basically laughing at my sexual performance, which for me is quite an intimate, special time in our relationship. I do so much for him and I give my body openly to him. Hell I got a fricken IUD for our sexual relationship (and most women will agree it’s a real b*tch). Anyway, I just felt like he didn’t appreciate or respect my efforts in the sex department. And combined with him wanting to watch porn, it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.

Am I right to be upset or overreacting?
Boyfriend insulted my sexual performance?
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