Im scared of having sex, should I tell her?

[Anonymous]

Its not scared as in scared of the practice, cause matter of fact i do love it

But i was a virgin before her and she's this really high libido aggressive girl, which helped me a lot, to open up

But now im just scared
For example im thinking about "what if my dick doesn't get hard?"
"What if i wouldn't find the hole?"
"What if i dont cum"?
Etc

And all these things keep running my mind
I do get horny, i do get hard, i do want sex with her badly

But lately everytime we get to that point, i get over anxious and find a reason to escape (even tho alcohol did cause its obstacles a few times) during build up
Which in turn makes her mad, she even brings it up family dinner or gatherings with friends, which makes me feels even worse and less motivated honestly, just embarrasses me

My plan for now is to stop masturbating for awhile till we meet

What more can i do?

[Twalli]

Tell her why you are scared, and what you are scared of. Most girls would be mortified to fart while being affectionate with a guy. My girlfriend isn't because I just laugh when it happens. My point being she'll probably be able to put you at ease and get rid of your fears. FYI, sex feels good even if you don't cum.

[Asker]

I don't know just feel so ashamed lol And yes i do love the sez but sometimes it becomes this mental war during sex too, so i happen to lose my erection and then focus in getting my erection back etc just not good Cause the times i did cum, i was really hungry no thinking. I have to let loose of those thoughts

[Asker]

so yeah, as i expected last night my girlfriend confronted me and said she really misses the intimacy. She says im blocking it and therefor she questions my interest in her She says the way its going now, she feels like we are more so chilling like friends but not lovers. She says she does still love me, is pretty much still attracted to me physically etc.. but she says i give her the impression its not mutual.. I've told her about me being mentally down the last couple weeks and how drinking/drugs put my mind in a bad place and that i was busy cutting it short (not that i was addicted lol) and also slowing down on porn (im like nearly a week clean now) She didn't give me the impression that she wanted to end the relationship, its more like a 'final" warning (also is what she said) So my intuition and gut feeling were right Only thing im afraid of is that she would change her mind, before i ever get a chance to show my feelings towards her again... Cause i really do love her, problem is i can be very stoic Take for example the goodbye; she packed all her stuff from the car then asked me "aren't u coming out one more time?" Cause she obviously wanted a goodbye kiss after the convo So i mean, she still does want it, but like she pretty much mentioned; she's done putting in all the effort, she wants me to show that i really do feel the connection/intimacy So the only left to do for me really is, staying sober during the dates (which is hard cause she smokes and drinks too) and cutting off all forms of pleasure Also maybe try do some more active activities, things we both love doingn instead of laying around at the park all the time. Cause thats when i love us most, when we are together doing acitivities. Drinking and smoking some in the park can be fun once in a while

[Avicenna]

Yes, tell her. She'll reassure you

[Asker]

Are u sure? I don't know feels so dumb to say it, feel like ill just get laughed at

[Asker]

so yeah, as i expected last night my girlfriend confronted me and said she really misses the intimacy. She says im blocking it and therefor she questions my interest in her She says the way its going now, she feels like we are more so chilling like friends but not lovers. She says she does still love me, is pretty much still attracted to me physically etc.. but she says i give her the impression its not mutual.. I've told her about me being mentally down the last couple weeks and how drinking/drugs put my mind in a bad place and that i was busy cutting it short (not that i was addicted lol) and also slowing down on porn (im like nearly a week clean now) She didn't give me the impression that she wanted to end the relationship, its more like a 'final" warning (also is what she said) So my intuition and gut feeling were right Only thing im afraid of is that she would change her mind, before i ever get a chance to show my feelings towards her again... Cause i really do love her, problem is i can be very stoic Take for example the goodbye; she packed all her stuff from the car then asked me "aren't u coming out one more time?" Cause she obviously wanted a goodbye kiss after the convo So i mean, she still does want it, but like she pretty much mentioned; she's done putting in all the effort, she wants me to show that i really do feel the connection/intimacy So the only left to do for me really is, staying sober during the dates (which is hard cause she smokes and drinks too) and cutting off all forms of pleasure Also maybe try do some more active activities, things we both love doingn instead of laying around at the park all the time. Cause thats when i love us most, when we are together doing acitivities. Drinking and smoking some in the park can be fun once in a while

[Cryptic-Game]

Yes. When fearful, let them know it.

[Asker]

I just had a weird vibe after our last goodbye and i told her today that i had been feeling off about myself for quite some time, but not the relationship, still do love her obviously So ill tell her about the some of the anxiety/mental problems

[Asker]

so yeah, as i expected last night my girlfriend confronted me and said she really misses the intimacy. She says im blocking it and therefor she questions my interest in her She says the way its going now, she feels like we are more so chilling like friends but not lovers. She says she does still love me, is pretty much still attracted to me physically etc.. but she says i give her the impression its not mutual.. I've told her about me being mentally down the last couple weeks and how drinking/drugs put my mind in a bad place and that i was busy cutting it short (not that i was addicted lol) and also slowing down on porn (im like nearly a week clean now) She didn't give me the impression that she wanted to end the relationship, its more like a 'final" warning (also is what she said) So my intuition and gut feeling were right Only thing im afraid of is that she would change her mind, before i ever get a chance to show my feelings towards her again... Cause i really do love her, problem is i can be very stoic Take for example the goodbye; she packed all her stuff from the car then asked me "aren't u coming out one more time?" Cause she obviously wanted a goodbye kiss after the convo So i mean, she still does want it, but like she pretty much mentioned; she's done putting in all the effort, she wants me to show that i really do feel the connection/intimacy So the only left to do for me really is, staying sober during the dates (which is hard cause she smokes and drinks too) and cutting off all forms of pleasure Also maybe try do some more active activities, things we both love doingn instead of laying around at the park all the time. Cause thats when i love us most, when we are together doing acitivities. Drinking and smoking some in the park can be fun once in a while