I really need help with a partner who is a bed wetter?

[Anonymous]

A couple of weeks ago my girlfriend wet the bed for the first time. I didn't make a big fuss about it, when I realised i just woke her up and after a bit of a cleanup we went back to bed on the sofa. Obviously she was really embarrassed but we both just agreed it must have just been one of those weird random things that can happen and we didn't give it a lot of thought.

Then it happened again the next night so she went to the Dr and had a few tests done and the Dr could not find any medical reason for it to happen.

However, last night it happened again for the 3rd time. It doesn't really upset me in any way. I love her and she can't stop it. However, its not really nice waking up in a puddle of pee especially when its someone else's pee and its annoying cleaning pee out of the mattress.

So in the morning I gently suggested that we go to the pharmacy and buy some adult diapers for her to wear at night until it stops happening. I was completely respectful and didn't do it in any sort of demeaning way. But she got super defensive and angry at me and I'm still getting the silent treatment. I actually thought a diaper would give her more dignity than waking up in a puddle of pee? and of course I would absolutely not tell anyone else about it.

Why did she get so angry at the suggestion?
How can I try and gently convince her that she should wear a diaper without making her feel humiliated?

[blair_lazychick_98]

I think its the fact she's in denial.
Being told by your boyfriend that you need to wear diapers would be very humiliating.
You are probably right in theory, the diapers will keep you dry and i imagine they will keep her comfortable at night as well and it would be a lot more relaxing going to sleep at night knowing it didn't matter if you had an accident.

But the whole idea of diapers would make me act in denial as well.
Just be patient, my gut feeling is that she knows she needs them and that is why she got so emotional. Just dont make a big deal of it and when she buys them just be cool and act normal like she's not wearing them at all.

Life is to short to worry about a bit of pee, give the girl a hug and tell her you love her.

[LisaLisa89]

In the first instance you need to have a mattress protector, that's more important than anything else from a material perspective.
Second, it's entirely up to her what to wear to bed, but if the mattress is protected all you have to do is change the sheet.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Dude that was a stupid move, you offended her nobody wants to be treated like a child.
She already knew she is a bed wetter and she doesnot have control on bladder how you cam stop is this is quite simple be conscious of it.
Donot drink water 1 hr before sleep and don't be lazy to get up and pee if you feel you want to pee talk to her say that you understand you have to purchase some kind of water resistant to put on your bed it's temperorary it will go what age is your girlfriend by the way?
Donot judge her or tease especially for girls it's embaressing and they can't really take things as men do she would have been definetly by that adult diaper thing kiss her on her forehead hold her hands and talk to her show that you care for her..

[OfDeath]

I couldn't think of any other solution apart from that either. Maybe if she doesn't drink anything 2 hours before sleep and goes to the toilet before bed?
Anyway, we all end up wearing adult nappies if we live long enough! So I don't see the big deal.

[Asker]

Yes, the problem is that I know its humiliating and awkward. But as you say there's not much else. She's def been trying not drinking but it didn't help last night. Its just annoying because I love her and I'm not trying to make fun of her. Im hoping she will give it a go and realise sleeping in a diaper is better than waking up in a wet bed.

[OfDeath]

Ask her why does she feel self conscious about wearing adult diapers. Then explain to her that many people wear them. It is not stupid to actively seek out a solution to a problem.

[Avicenna]

Don't say anything else about to her and don't try to get her attention.

[MannMitAntworten]

Buy a mattress cover for bed wetters and get uses to washing the sheets. Then get her ti see a therapist. It’s likely psychological and not physiological.

Yeah, the diaper idea... probably not the wisest. Not even seniors appreciate having that suggested when they losing control of themselves.

[thisisausername9999]

just because a doctor says nothing is wrong doesn't mean that nothing is wrong. doctors are human, they make mistakes, get at least 2 more opinions from other doctors, better safe than sorry.

[thisisausername9999]

also, there is no way you can make a person not feel humiliated by wearing a diaper, its degrading.

[Asker]

I agree its degrading, but surely its better than wetting the bed? I agree with getting extra opinions and stuff. But that all takes time.

[thisisausername9999]

give her some herbal stuff that deals with these issues, maybe even a herbal parasite med, because you never really know. When all else fails, go for the natural remedies that dont cause side effects

[smb930]

Try watching her blood glucose. I've noticed sugar will affect me and my bladder, more sugar making it hard to hold in.

I had bedwetting issues as a kid, but they went away with age and controlling my sugar intake.

[Asker]

Thanks for the info. I'll look into it.

[KrakenAttackin]

She may need more than basic tests. If she has a tumor in her bladder or pressing on her bladder this could be a cause. I would press her primary care physician for imaging.

[Zion333]

Aaaah, that golden liquid...

[Anonymous]

So your first thought was diapers, not plastic sheets or anything else yeah fetish freak

[Anonymous]

dude just suck it up and learn to deal with waking up in pee. After awhile it will just be normal.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has struggled with bed wetting well into her late teens due to a medical issue. There are meds she can take if it’s a super persistent problem that will stop it from happening.

[Asker]

We have spoken about meds, the problem is that every pill in existence has a side effect and personally i would think sleeping in a diaper is better than 24/7 side effects. But of course that will ultimately be up to her.

[Opinion Owner]

That sucks. Has she tried every drug? The one my daughter is on is DDAVP or ditropan. She may not experience the side effects? Also a lot of times, once the body gets used to it a lot of side effects fade away. The only issue with this med, is if she’s prone to seizures. And you cannot eat or drink at night once you’ve taken it.

[OfDeath]

That's true. Most doctors will explain the side effects and the chances of experiencing them. For example drug A is effective but 1 in 10 people may experience side effects. It's the ONE IN chance so it isn't 100% she will have side effects. If she tries medication and doesn't experience side effects, she can stop taking it.

[Opinion Owner]

@OfDeath yes totally

[Opinion Owner]

Seriously can I just say that you are an AMAZING boyfriend. I’m really grateful to hear that she has you by her side. Just thinking of my own daughter and how much this has impacted her life. I’m sure she doubts that she could ever be in a romantic relationship. So your story would give her hope. ❤️ Tell your girlfriend that this is a very legitimate condition that many people have. That Sara Silverman actually wrote in her biography how she had this condition well into her 20’s.

[Asker]

Thank you. The way i see it, life hasn't really changed. During the day is no different, intimacy is no different. She just puts it on before sleep and takes it off in the morning and if she's had an accident then it just doesn't matter at all. Im trying to be low key about with her so that she feels like its no big deal to put them on. We can all develop problems at any time, some of them more embarrassing than others but if you love someone its not about judging them, i just want to help her. I think now that I've reassured her and comforted her she has realised having an accident in a diaper is much more comfortable than living in denial and waking up in wet sheets all the time.