Are haemorrhoids God's way of punishing me for not finding a husband?

Question

I'm 24 and been holding on to my virginity until I find a good husband. Obviously I've had a string of boyfriends but I've only ever done oral and anal with them. Now I've started to get painful haemorrhoids that makes anal sex near impossible. Is it God telling me it's time to take a husband and have vaginal sex?

_SOARER · Accepted Answer

It would be less sinful to have sex out of wedlock then to commit sodomy.
It is a natural biological process, you aren't supposed to shove things in your anus.
You need to repent and try and cleanse yourself before you look for a husband.
Abstain.

Quackthulu · Accepted Answer

Well, that may be the dumbest thing I have read in a while. But assuming you are actually that confused and not just trolling, your hemorrhoids are most likely caused by a combination of your diet, your weight and taking it up the ass.

AustinMan · Answer

No. Physics is telling you to use more lube and that your partners need to be more patient about trying to destroy your rectum. Have you been to see a doctor?

Mellontikos · Answer

If you have seen a guy's penis, you are not really a virgin anymore in my opinion. So why worry about it, you've already gone through the threshold, just go full in now.

normalice · Answer

The best cure for a god is a witch. Specifically, witch hazel should clear up those hemmroids in a couple of days..

Lynx122 · Answer

No it's probably ause you lie and sit around a lot :D Just use hemorroid cream and get over yourself :D

ItsTheNephilim · Answer

Troll or brainwash 100.

jearm · Answer

Hemorrhoids have nothing to t with that at all. However saving your virginity. Wich if you have had anal sex you in my opinion are not. A virgin. Is not a thing most people care about anymore. And a lot of guy want a woman with experience. Before they decided if they are worth getting married to

Dargil · Answer

Welcome to Trollhattan.

imjustadude · Answer

No. I don't think it works that way. If it did hemorrhoid cream commercials would have several young women in them.

Iron_Man · Answer

No ...

KungFury1989 · Answer

Yes it is

Gedaria · Answer

Not God's fault, you have had anal sex. That's where they are from tiny little ruptures on the rim of your anus these swell and you get the pain...

COMMODOREII · Answer

Where do people come up with this bullshit?

Shamalien · Answer

Ur not a virgin

V12NI · Answer

Which god are you talking about

Cryptic-Game · Answer

It is very doubtful that your hemorrhoids are due to a punishment by God.

williewonger · Answer

Buy a smaller vibrator hunny

Anonymous · Answer

No it’s just your body telling you to stop doing anal

Anonymous · Answer

If you've has oral and anal sex you're not a virgin anymore. Also I imagine the hemorrhoids are a result of the anal sex.

Anonymous · Answer

No that's silly. You are only 24. It's probably genetic. See a proctologist. I did and haven't had any problems for a couple of years now. It's a big relief.