Sexual Relationships
+1 y

Is it okay to have sex?

Hi. I'm 21 years old and I have always idolized my first boyfriend to be the first kiss, the first and only sex partner and the one I marry. If you believe it or not, but my first boyfriend was that type of guy who was considering and supporting that idea, despite him being a fan of sexual freedom and having suggested an open relationship to me. We could be together for 3 months, he was my first kiss and my first time sex. Unfortunately, he had to leave my country and we told each other to stay together and make a long distance relationship work. But 3 months in being apart, I broke up. The reasons for the break up are complicated: First, we've actively dated each other for only 3 months, (I don't know, if we really match, maybe another guy suits me better?). Second, we have no idea when we can see each other again. Third and most important, I have suffered from general loneliness immensely for many years beforehand, but especially now after having experienced all this wonderful intimicy that I've craved since forever, I feel a lot of lust and want to go out with guys. Basically, my ideal marriage plan seems to fall apart, because of my animalistic wants.
Over the internet I have connected with an interesting, sympathetic guy who is very open to sex and has an open relationship. I want to meet him and consider sex with him, because I'm so lust-driven lately, (something I would have NEVER considered before this first relationship), but I gotta ask myself: why the hell do I consider to destroy all of my traditional values? And is it okay, if I do so? My ex told me, we would definitely meet each other again when there is an opportunity to. He isn't pure and didn't want me to be, but I did break his trust and feelings a lot by breaking up our serious relationship out of the blue. Is it okay for me to go out and have sex or would you rather suggest me to surpress my sex-drive and wait? :/
1 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • You are reacting to missing what you had with you first boyfriend
    Unfortunately chances are that having sex with this current person won't be what you expect and leave you feeling guilty about it for some time.
    I would say meet him first in a area where there will be no chance of sex.
    Only thereafter consider if you really want to sleep with him.
    Your values are important.
    But if you do decide to do it
    Keep in mind that YES it is ok and nothing wrong with it asking as you are ready for it and he treats u right

    • Thank you!

  • You're a grown up, go have sex with your boyfriend whenever you want. Supressing your sexual urges for such a long time is mentally unhealthy, let alone that it's super unhealthy for your relationship. It's so important to have a healthy sex life (in or outside a relationship). Don't make yourself suffer for no good reason! Enjoy your sexuality together! Make each other sexually happy!

    • *with your boyfriend or whoever you want

Most Helpful Girl

  • Its ur body after all... most importantly be responsible and by that I mean safe sex (condoms ) !!

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 6

  • It's your life. Enjoy it. If you want to have sex then go ahead. If you don't then don't have it. It's your life, you're free to do as you wish.

  • Go and have sex. Just enjoy it while you are young. Marriage can wait. Live your life

  • If you 2 have broken up then sex can be ok if thats what you really want. Just be sure that its what you really want.

  • Enjoy yourself while your still young, nothing wrong with having sex.

  • You should control it or maybe you can masturbate to satisfy your self

    • What do you mean with "you should be able to control it"? I'm able to, I have always controlled it since beginning of puberty which is almost 10 years ago. And I will always control it till my death. That's what most people do and what I think is good. But most people also want and have sex and they feel bad without it at some point. My ideals aren't more worth than my mental health. So I think it's better, if I try it. I don't think men or anyone are gonna feel worse, because of my decision. It is only a personal struggle to open up to that. If I feel bad or guilty afterwards, I'll stop. If I needed to surpress lust, I shouldn't masturbate, by the way, I found out it heavily increases lust. Men's bodies work differently.

    • You got a point. I guess in that case you should do what you feel like what your heart says.. why masturbate increase lust... Did not get that

  • Yes, only if you’re ready

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