I feel SO bad for watching porn?

[Billie_]

I am in a loving committed relationship to my amazing boyfriend. He is so sweet and I want a future with him!

But this morning, I had a dream about other men which I can't exactly remember, then in the morning when I woke up, I had this urge to watch porn. I wanted to look at other men, not my boyfriend. Now I know my boyfriend doesn't masturbate to other women, he's the romantic sensitive type and has given me reasons why he doesn't and even gets upset when I masturbate without thinking about anything.

I feel SO overwhelmingly guilty after I came watching that. This isn't the first time I've gone behind his back and done it. We both refrained from it for mutual respect for each other. I feel so sick. I watched another man, a stranger, jerk off and got off to it... I have a boyfriend! For some reason looking at my boyfriends pics just wasn't doing it for me this morning.

I feel so guilty. I can't tell him what I did it will shatter him... Any way I can get over the guilt?

[AmandaYVR]

You already said it, but I will reiterate to drive it home - never tell him. For one, it's not really his business. You still are a separate person and no one needs to share every thought and activity with their partners (that can even be damaging.) Sometimes guilt is a part of life, part of the human experience, and blurting everything out is not the answer to eradicate it. Guilt means that you have a conscience and you are checking yourself, and that's good. Don't burden him with it as well.

And secondly, you really need to lighten up on yourself. I'm sure you'll get tons of support here that will confirm it, but you don't need to feel badly about this particular thing. People dream. Your mind is your own. You clearly care about him dearly and you both treat each other well, so there really is no problem here. If you do it again, so what. If you think it will make you feel bad about yourself, don't do it again (for a while, or whenever) but no need to beat yourself up. Sex is just one component of life. Try and deny that, and you'll just kick the can down the road. This is small stuff. Focus your energies elsewhere. Nothing to see here...

[Destiel_24]

One thing is your feelings and who you love and another is who you are attracted to. Watching porn doesn't make you love your boyfriend any less, and masturbating with porn because the situations on the porn videos or the men's bodies turn you on doesn't change anything, you can't just keep feeling horny because he doesn't like you masturbating. You are not cheating nir doing anything wrong, you still love him and not every people is the same, if he doesn't want to watch porn ok but he doesn't have to make you feel bad about doing it

[Guardian45]

First, there is NOTHING WRONG with masturbation. PERIOD.

My suggestion is you involve him. Either let him watch you masturbate for him locking eyes. Or pull out your vibrator and teach him how to pleasure you by guiding his hand on the vibrator with your hand, fast, slow, hard, soft. Or engage in mutual masturbation together, play a game to see who can last the longest without cumming!

If you involve him, he'll forget about this silly behavior and you'll have a brand new dimension to your sex lives! Good Luck!

[RemoErdosain]

That's nothing to feel guilty about, and your boyfriend is being very silly if he thinks anything of you masturbating to porn instead of thinking about him. Most people don't think about their partners when masturbating. If they thought about the neighbor or their friend, that would worry me. Otherwise, just go ahead. It's your fantasy, not something real

[RoseareRed]

Don't feel guilty about exploring your sexuality. Could it be that there's something missing with your boyfriend? Try talking to him about other things you'd like to do, that way you won't find the need to go to porn again. If watching another guy jerk off turned you on, maybe ask your boyfriend to send you a similar vid.

[Breanna_nonbinary]

Having desires for others is natural. It is human nature to seek out potential mates. For both men and women. Men biologically have a need to spread their genes and women have a biological need to seek men that will produce the best offspring and a mate that will provide the best environment for that offspring to survive. Shame is a feeling that we have when we go against societal norms. However societal norms sometime conflict with what we are biologically programmed to do.

[darkcloud1945]

Listen to her she has the best explanation of all those posted. She is right on point! Don't be so hard on yourself for doing something that is really natural to humans.

[AustinMan]

Forgive yourself. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. Just stay away from it. Is he readily available so he can scratch your itch. Have you ever told him you need to get laid and now?

[RJJ33666]

It might be because your sexual hormones are going off the roof. Its might be that you aren't satisfied. You masturbating on other men is normal when you are not satisfied properly, its nothing to feel guilty about. I think you should spice things up between your boyfriend. So it might help to satisfy you and then this will also stop

[ChocoBrownie]

I want to be your fantasy 😄

[CubsterShura]

Next time this happens, don't give in to it. Instead spend some valuable time with your boyfriend to remind yourself how much he cares for you and has your back while those strangers don't even know or care about ur existence.

If you need to bring the spice in sex life then maybe try something new and different.

[Sevenpointfive]

i think you need to tell him you have other fantasies because it's perfectly human. it's dangerous but he'll understand that you find other guys attractive. the difference is not acting on your impulses if you love the one you're with

[Agape93]

Watching porn is normal, and it’s ok to enjoy it. You have nothing to feel bad about.
Honestly if he can’t get over the fact you enjoyed some porn, you’re going to have issues in your relationship.

[MiamiMadness]

You can get your appetite wherever you want, as long as you eat at home you're in the clear lol

[IlyaTheImpaler]

Can you link the vid? :)

If I were your boyfriend I would only be upset if the guy looks totally different from me

[Nik1hil]

Relax...
It is normal to feel like this

[funride74]

Firstly of there is no reason to regret or feel guilty about. Secondly: are you sure he doesn't do it here and there? Masturbation will be a necessity for you now and in the future as it is simply natural and training your sexuality. A partner not understanding is not good at all. Just my opinion

[Nature_Enthusiast]

Understand that you were acting irrationally. Don't beat yourself up. Everyone does it at some point. The act of your feeling guilty is enough to show that you love your boyfriend and you didn't intend to harm your relationship. Thus, you're totally fine.

[dwaynesmith]

I used to watch it to the point I was deeply addicted, I cannot watch it even one time now as I know it would cause a relapse

[TallAnon]

That you commit to chocolate doesn't mean vanilla doesn't look attractive once in a while. As long as you don't fuck it, it's fine.

[Guanfei]

Everyone watches porn, there's nothing bad about it.

[bklynbadboy1]

Why do you feel guilty that's nothing it's like having a celebrity crush. Your a good girl but just keep in mine your in a relationship but you not dead so your gonna find other guys attractive just dont act on it

[7771999]

Ouf...

[Holly_PotatoPS]

In that case do not watch porn.
You're Welcome ! :)

[andy530]

There is nothing to feel guilty over. Your body reacts to stimulation from all kinds of different sources sometimes it’s porn other times it’s just seeing an attractive person during the day. You shouldn’t feel guilty for how your body naturally works. It just means your healthy