★ Should I Be Freaked Our About My New Girlfriend's Past?
My last relationship was an absolute Trainwreck. She became addicted to pain meds 4 years in after a car accident. The last 8+ years were a loveless "friendship" involving me trying to keep her alive. After, I spent ≈ 4 years being single which was bliss. But I also spent them 100% sex free, As I did for 2-3 of the last years "with" my ex. I really really enjoy this new girlfriend's company. I like who I am around her. And my mind from refusing to get into another relationship. I've never been more open and honest with anyone in my life and I definitely care about her. But as the months went on, she started sharing things, mainly of a sexual nature, that I always made a rule to avoid discussing. It started out one day when she kind of blurted out that "some people would consider her a whore". Something I wasn't interested in diving deeper into at the time. We later had talks explaining how she had several partners over the years, relationships, club hookups, etc. This was something I wasn't used to, but I was fine with it. Then things started coming out (mainly while drinking) that she was an early version of what we call now a camgirl around 2005. That was tough to get past. Months later, she added the fact that it was a piss fetish page (which she insists she doesn't have) and that her panties & compilation videos were made and sold online with her ex. That was a little better tougher to get past. But I'm on her couch right now. Threesomes, Foursomes, guys, girls, whatever. It killed me to hear it, but I decided I could deal. Then it was random Craiglist hookups. Finally it came out (drunk again) that she would find a weed dealer on Craiglist and have sex with them for free weed. I'm speechless. She's a totally different person now, but I'm not sure I can get past all that. Am I just really repressed? Or does the past really matter?
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