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What do you do when your friend doesn't tell you she bi?

I had a best friend we use to do everything togther. We was so close to point where she saw me in bra and underwear because we had to change in middle school. As time went by I started to development of feelings towards boys I use think gross but I fell in love. My friend also observed with boys as well. One day we was talking and she randomly pulled me to side and was like "Omg hannah looks hot." and I was confused like who says that about another girl. I asked her "Why would you say it like that." She looks at me in shock and says "I am bi I didn't want to tell you yet because I thought I would scare you." She walks away and doesn't look back and after that we didn't talk for a whole day. I had no clue what bi was until researched it up. I was shocked and confused all thoses times I changed infront of her the random cuddling and "flirting jokes". So I decided to text her "Did you ever like me in that way." she replied saying yes and she still do. I felt so disgusted that she pretend to be my friend just to see what she wanted looking at my body I feel so ashamed of myself. I cut her off after that I don't know if I did anything wrong or right but I wanted nothing with her. I felt like I lied to I don't care that she bi but the fact she has feelings for me and seen my body god I can't write this without crying! What do I do? I don't know what to do?
What do you do when your friend doesnt tell you she bi?
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Sorry that you feel violated by your friend seeing your body. I can understand why that seems dishonest to you. Because you were under the impression that she wasn't attracted to your gender, but all along, she actually was. This is basically like you were changing in front of a guy who was checking you out the whole time. It does seem like you were deceived by your friend. I'm not sure if the only reason she was hanging around you is because she had feelings for you, or if she truly saw you as a friend. Cutting her off is not bad considering this situation. You have to protect your own emotional well-being and being around her is toxic to you. So it might be healthier for you to not be in her presence and not have to be checked out all the time.

    I'm sure that from her point of view, she feels like you're judging her for her sexuality. But you have to do what's best for yourself, which is to stop talking to her. Especially since you're in pain about this and it makes you cry. That is a sure sign that it's a good idea to end that situation. You did the right thing. I hope you're not feeling any guilt about cutting her off, because it was something that needed to be done to make you feel better.

    Was this a long time ago that you stopped talking to her? Has she tried to contact you again?

    • Yes this is a long time ago but she continues contacting me saying she sorry and she won't ever do it again and yes I blocked her but she always make new accounts now that we graduating I don't have see her at school and I am said to tell my parents about it.

    • Wow, that sucks. It seems like harassment at this point, because she's going out of her way to create new ways to contact you even after she's been blocked. Talking to your parents is probably a good idea. They might have some good advice for how you can get out of this situation. They might be very understanding, especially if they knew the girl. They would know how close you had become and why this is so hurtful for you. But yes, this has turned into a full-on stalking situation. So, you might need some help to end it. Not to mention the fact that I'm sure it traumatizes you all over again and brings back bad memories every time you see her name pop up. That's very unhealthy and I'm sure it causes anxiety for you. You have to stop her from contacting you so that you can have peace and start healing from what happened to you.

    • Ok Thank you so much!

    • Show All

  • Girl, I would be SO uncomfortable if this had happened to me. Feeling weird and crying and everything is so understandable... yes its weird she didn't tell you before and I would cut her out of my life... because what you thought you had, a friendship, turned out to be a sort of lie! I'm so sorry this happened!

    • I am glad someone understands me. I just deciding if I should talk to someone about it or not? I am scared if the outcome of talking about it.

    • Nah, nothing bad could happen out of talking about it... I don't think anyone's going to side with your bi-friend in this... :/

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think you're taking this way out of proportion. Definitely doesn't sound like she became friends with you just to take advantage of the situation, you're just pushing that idea onto the situation because you're upset, and tbh I don't really understand why. What most likely happened is she ended up developing feelings over the course of the friendship, and, as she said, was scared of telling you because she wasn't sure how you'd react. Which was pretty spot on because she called it, you're reacting incredibly poorly.

    Why tf does it matter? It seems petty to end a relationship over something like this in my opinion. Just stop changing in front of her if that's what you're so concerned about.

    • It matters because she still tries to contact me and that everytime she calls me I have a breakdown. Of course I don't change infront of her anymore because happend long time ago but she still contacts me telling me she sorry and she won't ever do that again. It's the fact she was aware of it. I respect you for being honest tho.

    • She's contacting you because she's you're friend and she doesn't want to lose you over something like this, jfc, if anything else it's proof that she actually cares.

  • I expect (ed) a relationship to me exclusive. I don't (didn't) date around. If she settles on me but she's done a little nibbling in the past, so be it.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 3

  • See it's okay that she likes you, you should respect her that she told you and just talk with her that I'm okay with you as a friend but not more than that and help her to find a girl... I guess I'll work 🤞🏻

    • I should mention that this happend long time ago and she still contacts me to this day saying sorry and she will never do that again. She was fully aware if it. I cry everytime I see the messages and I always have a breakdown just remembering it. I don't know if I should talk to someone about it and I never talked to my parents as well.

    • You can solve this case with her and be in point that don't do this again with another girl make sure that she don't do this again, and don't feel sad be happy take care ♥️

  • That was awful for her to lie to you like that. Sorry, you must feel scared and ashamed.

  • Nothing wrong with what she did. She was worried to tell you.

    • I do bealive she was worried about it. It's the fact she is aware of what she did and how I would react.

    • She was probably very worried about risking your friend ship.

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