Practicing BDSM with someone younger?

Anonymous

I'm dating someone younger than myself at least by 5 years.
I enjoy some parts of sadism (punishing, pain & diriving pleasure ) & feel guilty about practicing this style of intimacy with the man I would marry. I see him as too innocent. Leading me to believe A relationship with him only would leave me unfulfilled because of this need to fulfill myself... Yet my ultimate desire is monogamy.

Any suggestions

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Most Helpful Girl

A_Bell Yoda
+1 y
I could not enjoy my sex life without the bondage side of it. I wouldn't continue long with someone who wasn't.
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Most Helpful Guys

abc3643 Master
+1 y
I don't see a problem here.
Is this guy fine with your BDSM needs or not?
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- Asker
  +1 y
  I'm not comfortable with this type of intimacy with him. I never discussed it with him because I never want him to participate init.
- abc3643
  +1 y
  Well then you have a potential issue with sexual chemistry and better get this resolved ASAP...
  
  ==================
  This is how I responded to a different question about sexual chemistry.
  
  Can one sexual fantasy mess up an entire relationship? ↗
  
  Can one sexual fantasy mess up an entire relationship?
  
  He tells me his fantasy. I'm cool with trying it and doing it sometimes. Problem is he only wants this, he has to be doing this or talking about it or thinking about it or he's not satisfied. I said that's too much. He said he will just not tall about it anymore. But I don't know if I can be comfortable knowing that's all he's thinking about. Can he be happy never talking about it? If not, should I leave him when everything else about our relationship is great?
  
  (more)
- abc3643
  +1 y
  ------- This is how I answered ------- Q: Can one sexual fantasy mess up an entire relationship? Yes, absolutely. This is why sexual chemistry needs to be determined early in a relationship because, no matter how good outside the bedroom the relationship is, if it sucks in the bedroom (especially when you are young), that's demoralizing and often leads to the death of the relationship. Q: Can he be happy never talking about it? He can be... accepting of his reality. He'll go to chat sites or worse though to get his needs met. Q: If not, should I leave him when everything else about our relationship is great? I can't really answer this because you are a better gauge of your relationship than I am. But, what I said above may cause long-term problems. This is an important lesson: Sex should never be work. Sex should be when you should feel completely free and safe to be yourself no matter how dark or twisted that is. However, if the two partners disagree in some way about this, then one of two things happens. Let's call these two partners Chris and Terry. 1. One partner, Chris, is indulging the other one, Terry. Chris is not into what Terry is, so, to indulge Terry, Chris has to work... Chris does not get to be his/herself but had to be an actor and acting is work. 2. If Chris doesn't indulge Terry, then Terry feels unsatisfied... a bit empty. In a way, Terry is indulging Chris by suppressing part of his/herself during sex and not being completely his/herself which is what sex is for. In this case, it is Terry doing the work acting that s/he is satisfied when s/he is not. So, in both cases, one of these two partners is doing work - one partner needs to work at acting at not being themselves for the sake of sex. This is an example of a lack of complete sexual chemistry.
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- Asker
  +1 y
  Great response. Thankyou. I dont want to let him go. Nor practice anything he wouldn't enjoy with me. I would require him for marriage. My sub I wouldn't necessarily engage in penetration but also want to keep him for the purpose of fulfilling other needs I have that I do not wish to introduce nor engage with, with the man I marry. Is this common or do people find partners that ' do it all" so to speak?
- abc3643
  +1 y
  1. People can find spouses who are good together both inside and outside the bedroom. 2. Why don't you want your husband to engage in BDSM with you? 3. If you need a sub other than your husband, why? Furthermore, you need to talk to him about it before getting married. You also might consider talking to a psychological counselor about this.
AustinMan Influencer
+1 y
So you're a Dom or a sub? Have you broached this subject with him?
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- Asker
  +1 y
  I'm neither. Just enjoy specific practice in some act of intimacy.
- AustinMan
  +1 y
  Bur your predominantly oriented to one role or the other. Which do you consider your native role? It makes a difference in my answer.
- Asker
  +1 y
  Undecided. Hence my confusion
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- AustinMan
  +1 y
  That's interesting. I've never encountered that before in over 20 years in the scene. What are your fantasies like?
- Asker
  +1 y
  Recieving Punishment. With particular partners Giving punishment with others But never mixed. But I crave both pleasures
- AustinMan
  +1 y
  Got it. What about this particular partner: Domme or sub?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 3

Quackthulu Guru
+1 y
Yeah. find someone you are more compatible with.
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nudeNhorny Guru
+1 y
if he doesn't mind sure you can practice what you like with someone else
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Bshu2jdbxb Xper 6
+1 y
Don't know
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Anonymous
+1 y
I love pain i like if my partner dominate me
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