Would you have a sexless relationship?

Question

Not for religious reasons but only because your partner doesn't want to be a parent.

nightdrot · Accepted Answer

Certainly I would not hold it against anyone who wanted that kind of a relationship. As for me though, and I grant that it may seem shallow, but I need that sense of physical connection.

That physical bond is, for me at least, something that adds a degree of depth and intimacy. That is not to say that you cannot have good and even meaningful relationships without sex. Indeed you can and I have.

However, when I have sex I feel a sense of connection and of being wanted. It is like the whole world shrinks down to just the two of you and that there is nothing else and nothing else matters.

This I say as a man who loves my girlfriend - and with whom I have had three children - with all my heart. I cannot imagine my life without her and yes, I really do need her. We also tend to a very raw and primal sex. Not BDSM, but we are like two animals breeding in a field - with licking and even some biting and scratching. Not always, to be sure, but generally.

Even then, though, that raw sex adds a depth to our relationship. We are accepting each other as we are, physically and emotionally naked. Giving our bodies to each other to be used, my girlfriend unconditionally accepting from me the most elemental thing I have to give of myself - my sperm, my seed. My girlfriend giving her body to me for my pleasure and to submit to me to bear my young.

For what it is worth, my girlfriend has told me something similar. She tells me that the idea of me leaving a bit of myself in her is intensely emotional. Not just the idea of getting pregnant by me, but that I have given something very basic and elemental of myself at the moment when I am the most physically dominant and yet exposed at the same time.

Yup, I know, in one sense pure mush. Yet there it is.

Again, it sounds very raw and primal but it is very emotional, deep and intimate and I find it hard to imagine a relationship of such depth without it. So while I completely understand why some would want to have a relationship without sex for all sorts of reasons, for me it would seem somewhat shallow and less than it could be and I need and want that depth and intimacy in both the emotional and physical sense. They are linked together.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Definitely not. I love having sex with a woman. It's one of the main reasons for being in a relationship. It seems confusing to think a man and woman could be very, very close and remain purely platonic. You would have to be asexual.

Just the touch of another human being is way better than self touch. Women are soft, beautiful and sexy. I can pay with her tits while she jacks me off. She can give me blowjobs. But juicy, enthusiastic intercourse is the best, best,, best, by far.

Every girlfriend I ever had was on the pill. I had sex sooooooo many times without any issues. Even if, for some reason, she was on the pill, missed her period, took a test and discovered that she was pregnant, I have zero problems with immediately taking care of it. At that point, the few cells of a 6 or 8 week zygote are not a little baby. They are more like an unwanted growth or infection that will ruin your life if not addressed immediately.

But hey, I also encourage pro-lifers and those who are paranoid to remain celibate.

HartleyB · Accepted Answer

It's because half the guys on here just talk a lot and have never actually been in a meaningful relationship... if you love someone and they say they can't or don't want to have sex then you stick with them and the anti-abortion guys are just a bunch of halfwits who are just butthurt cause they want sex but don't get it so they shame women for it

The dudes on here are either overly horny virgins who just think sex is all women are for or horny guys who are lonely because they wanted a relationship but their former partners didn't want to have sex every two seconds so it didn't work out.

Be as horny as you want but to say that you couldn't be with someone without sex makes you seem like a hollowed out soul with a sex addiction and it doesn't help the stereotype that guys only want sex but who am I to judge.

cougarclaw87 · Accepted Answer

Not having sex because you don't want to take the risk of not having a child is not an educated decision. There are ways to prevent pregnancy that do work. Being on a hormonal contraceptive as a female and then a male also using condom would presumably be impossible to get pregnant. You can always make an appointment at your local health department and speak with a doctor or RN there about your options. It is free and confidential.

undefined-intentions · Answer

Yeah, I would. Not with anyone, but with someone I love as much as my current partner? Easily. I love sex, but to me it's not important enough to end a good relationship over.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

If it is a guy who won't tempt me maybe I could

anupamagrawal · Answer

Not wanting to be parent or not want to do sex. There are some difference in both of them. Before marriage we do not want to be a parent (there are few but they are a rarity) - but we all love to enjoy sexual pleasure.

But whatever be the case - a husband-wife scenerio is about making a small loving family and without a child the life is not that beautiful for me.

sadiefluff · Answer

I could never do that! I think I’d just sit down and cry. What about birth control? There are a ton of different options!

Tdieseler · Answer

Yes... i can tolerate it if i like her personality... but best believe (and i will tell her this too)... that i will be fucking EVERYBODY and they mama...
Women like to make choices and expect men to just follow... im not one of those men, that just gives me leeway to make my own damn selfish choice.
She makes a choice not to have sex with me... fine... but according to my 90/10 theory, she ain't getting shit from me too AND i will be fucking everyone else lol
😂😂😂

CreativeMumble · Answer

You can have sex without getting pregnant though...  If they only see sex as a reproductive activity, then we wouldn't be compatible at all. In general, I couldn't be in a sexless relationship.

CoffeePossum · Answer

He can get his tubes tied if he doesn't want to be a parent, i could easily have no sex at the first 2 years but i don't want a sexless relationship because he doesn't want kids now

perfectchaos · Answer

Nope. I tried that and it was the worst thing ever and it became painful and forced us away from each other

RickPen · Answer

I have been in them before, due to painful sex for me. They eventually failed due to other issues. Surprisingly, sex was never a core problem.

Tyrael · Answer

No. There's altogether far too many options for preventing pregnancy, not to mention ending pregnancy as soon as it it begins. That's simply not a valid reason to have a sexless relationship. You'd be sacrificing a lot of the physical and emotional connection that comes with it.

On the other hand if my partner *couldn't* have full penetrative sex, perhaps for a medical reason, then of course I'd be supportive of that.

mooky06 · Answer

I get what your saying, but there are so many ways to prevent pregnancy.  I can’t have a sexless relationship. I would be sex deprived 😐🔫 sounds like a nightmare to me 😫

JananiiSrii · Answer

Why not ask him to wear a condom, and you can use birth control too.

ohshee · Answer

No I could not have that making love having sex f****** screwing becoming one is one of the most beautiful passionate feelings I've ever felt in my life and you can take it even deeper than that it brings us together it bonds as one I need to share my passion my desire I mean share it so deep did he have an out-of-body experience I could not have a sexless relationship

TJFreshman22 · Answer

Fuck no. That's like getting a bunch of tickets to Canada's wonderland and just standing in the turn stalls while everyone else is having a blast. If you don't want to fuck someone just be friends until you find someone who you do.