How do you deal with teenage girls that are selfie crazy?

[wingattebaby16]

I have two teenage girls (stepdaughters) that are gonna be 15 and 17 yo in June.

Both of them are actually respectful to me, but I recently found out they have been taking lots and lots of selfies, usually partially or full nude. We had an agreement last year this would stop and I thought it did.

I know for a fact both girls are sending their selfies to boys from school, much older boys.

Also, the 16yo is continuing to send nude selfies and flirting with much older men online. I am talking 25 to 50 yo... on Snapchat, Twitter, Tinder, etc...

Is this just a fad for now OR should I be worried?

[likelyOK]

Hopefully the mom backs you up on this, but I have a teenage girl and this is Hard NO FOR ME. They would be grounded and I would have to watch ALL THEIR content to make sure it was appropriate. My daughter is not allowed even partially nude and I do check her Snap content, etc. Plus if those men receiving them are older and ASKING for them or asking for more according to all letters of the law they are soliciting under age, child porngraghy and can be prosecuted in court. If necessary I would report them and prosecute them I DO not play with that stuff. I would send out a threat first and if that does not work act later. If you have any further legal questions feel free to ask here, I never check my inbox, not once but if you need me to I will make an exception.

[remmadee]

Explain to them the dangers of exposing themselves like that online. Their photos could be posted on websites and shared with other people. I've seen some teens get harassed on social media by guys who wanted to get back at them. There are a lot of things that can go wrong with it. Unfortunately it is a popular and common thing that teens do these days. All you can do is advise them to be cautious and opt for partly clothed rather than full nude. Also to not include their face in case the photos get out somehow. Various states have different laws like if you send nudes or even shirtless photos to someone under 18 it's illegal or other variations of the same thing. So they could get themselves and other people in trouble legally as well.

[ValleyofDrakes]

You cannot stop them.

However, if you have any level of control over them (taking care of them, giving them a place to live) then you make it very clear that there are consequences for that type of behavior in your house and then you enforce them. If you want to take the time to explain the dangers associated with it all, go for it. You should also make it clear that if they want to break a rule, their lives get harder.

However, if you have no such power then you're out of luck and should mind your own business.

Additionally, I would be compassionate and say that you are there for them if they ever get into any kind of trouble. l, after of course explaining the dangers.

All you can do is all you can do. It's just how it is.

[likelyOK]

Actually you can stop them by taking their phone and laptops and you can prosecute the ones 18 and older in court for child porngraghy, the content and messages are all you need in a court of law🇺🇲

[dudeinohio]

The girls could also be prosecuted for producing and distributing child pornography.

[Guardian45]

Well, I'm not a teenage girl, and don't have a daughter, thank goodness! One of my friends had a teenage daughter. She was beautiful, intelligent and a sweet girl, nevertheless she wreaked havoc in his life. The more protective and restrictive he was, the more rebellious and precocious she became. Much to my friend's heartbreak, she eloped and married the wrong guy. Fortunately, she realized her error and came back home. Now she has finally met a decent guy and is engaged to him.

Bottomline: you can't put them on a leash. Just keep communication lines open. Try not to judge them, but instead instill your values on them. Lead by example. Teach them to have a moral compass!

[EriFrancis1994]

It's a fad. Don't push too hard to try and stop it cos as a teenager they're just gonna do the opposite of what you tell them. I think guiding them with advice about safety when using the internet/having sex etc would work better.

It sounds really messed up but there is a good chance that they're going to or maybe already have slept with some of these older guys and it's something you have to accept as a norm now with teens. All you can do is prepare them for it.

[Red_Arrow]

Lots of girls are selfie crazy. Not a problem. But the problem here is not selfies, but rather sharing their nude bodies with everyone (not a problem for adults who are mature enough to make those decisions). It invites sexual misconduct and can harm you reputation now and in the future.

The flirting with much older men online is another problem that can evolve into actual sex and hanging with older crowds, losing their youthful innocence too early. Wish I had answers for you.

[MillieBrunette]

Agree completely, lot is brought in by percy middle aged men

[MillieBrunette]

Pervy*

[supercutebutt]

You are also into older dudes so you should be able to relate to the girls in question.

[jesshikasanchez]

Do what any adult would do take their phone away of course.

[MillieBrunette]

Yeah I'm a selfie addict, however it is vital you monitor best you can who they are talking to online. Like I say there are many pervey men about.

[lawhawk84]

Take the phones/computers away.

[NYCQuestions1976]

Where is their father in all of this? Have you discussed this with him?

[poneglyphs]

Have you tried confronting them with the new info and actually try to give them an actual punishment?

[wingattebaby16]

both girls are very goth and we have had many fights when I tried to be MOM and lay down rules.

[dudeinohio]

Interesting that you have 2 teen daughters and you are listed as being 25.

[dudeinohio]

But... if true... they are guilty of producing and distributing child pornography.

[likelyOK]

She said it's her stepchildren.

[dudeinohio]

Hmmm.. a little young for that responsibility

[likelyOK]

it's probably hard for her, but if you think of it having two little ones is just as much responsibility which she is old enough for

[wingattebaby16]

yes, they are my stepdaughters... I love their dad, my husband. It was a concern at first when we got married, but the girls love me so much... and I love my husband even more. Us three girls actually get along more like sisters/gfs than mom & daughters, most the time. My adopted mom treated me like a sister a lot too... so I find it works better than having to me Mrs. Hitler and command them to do what I ORDER.

[coffeewithcream]

Be worried.
It doesn't matter if it's a fad.
It's illegal and can cause serious problems for them. If they are sending nude selfies to men old enough to be grandfathers that's in the sick category.
Don't envy your job of laying down the law but you're going to have to.

[Twalli]

Well nude pics of anyone under 18 is child pornography.

[nailu]

they probably doing pretty good business and earning more than you

[FearlessGoat]

How about you tell the father and the both of you take away their phones, phones are a privilege not a right

[Freespirit_666]

From my experience they try to find someone appreciate their beauty, its hard to exist in this time since everyone posting and all hot people on Instagram or Facebook... etc , so normal people and specially girls at a certain age try to feel more confident by seduce guys , my advice try to be friends with not a mother Dougherty Dougherty relationships no a real friendship, and try to make them feel pretty, maybe take them to a holiday or what ever u do to gain there trust.