Is it normal for young male adults to talk about sex with their fathers?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and his dad have a weird relationship that has raised a flag for me. His dad sends him pornographic videos that have underlying dark humor (like hundreds of videos. My man has showed me the messenger and even a few of the videos he finds funny). They openly talk about strippers with each other and things of that nature right infront of me like it is normal. I'm not sure if its just strange to me because I'm a female but I haven't seen anything like that before. He also openly has spoken about his sister wearing vibrating panties at the bar and flashing people her chest like its just casual conversation. It freaks me out. I wonder if there's some potential incest or if the relationship with his dad has just desensitized him to boundaries with speaking about raunchy things with family.. or if maybe this is a common thing I just have not been exposed to. Please help everyone! Guys and girls welcome but I'd really like a mans perspective on this whole thing. Also some info that may help; boyfriend has opened up to me before that he and his dad weren't close growing up but since he turned 18 his dad has been his best friend. I wonder if his dad is trying to make up for the past by treating him like an of his other buddies but maybe just takes it too far.

[Anonymous]

I do think there’s something wrong with this. Especially since if they’re talking about his sister wearing vibrating panties. I think that crosses a line and seems inappropriate. I do think there should be some space in a parent-child relationship. My mother spoke to me about sex very openly from a very young age (maybe 7/8 years old) and it’s not the same as this situation but it’s at least partly caused me to struggle with boundaries. So perhaps, him wanting to connect with his dad has made your boyfriend a bit too willing to connect with him on any topic his dad wants.

[Asker]

I agree. I can understand the porn thing a bit more because I think that's mostly a reflection on his dad more being too comfortable and just having that type of humor. The sister thing is what concerns me more. I think it is a jump to assume him and his sis have been sexual with each other but it does make me wonder a bit. Maybe I'm just too worried and they just have boundary issues

[Opinion Owner]

I think you can definitely observe more, their dynamic and everything to see whether or not something very inappropriate is going on. Hopefully time will tell what’s truly going on.

[Asker]

I just said that exact thing to my friend ! Only time and observation will tell with this. It definitely isn't something I can approach head on by confronting anyone. That would be a mess if I turned out to be completely wrong. Thanks for the feedback :)

[Anonymous]

The father thing seems like trying to make up for lost time. But then the sister stuff sounds more like incest. If my sister did that I wouldn't even want to know let alone share it with my girlfriend unless I was seeking sympathy for being traumatized by my sister.

[AustinMan]

It's clearly a different type of open relationship. Once you get past the unusual character of it, how do you feel about it? Do you see it as harmful?

[Asker]

I feel somewhat grossed out. Nothing extreme just think it is uncomfortable for me because in my mind I don't think it should go that far. It isn't the principal its self just the extent it has reached. I've mostly been able to accept the situation with his dad and rule it out as just different.. but the sister part really has me concerned because I wonder about borderline incest. Like I said before I know it's not fair to assume just based off of that but it gives me an uneasy feeling.

[AustinMan]

I didn't read closely. Sorry. What's the issue with the sister?

[Asker]

He talks very openly about how sexual she is, her wearing vibrating panties in public, flashing people at the bar, etc. His friends were talking about how nice her boobs were infront of us and he wasn't put off by it at all even joined into the convo about her boob job she had done and how proud of her new chest she is.

[AustinMan]

That would be a little unnerving for him to be so cavalier and disrespectful of her despite her not minding.

[Asker]

do you think he thinks it's okay because she is okay with being sexualized? Maybe it has more to do with that than him being involved sexually

[AustinMan]

I have no idea but I certainly get your discomfort. Is he hinting about having you engage sexual things publicly like the vibe panties?

[Asker]

No he's never mentioned me using them. Probably a good sign

[AustinMan]

Good.

[JinRavage]

Its a little on the odd side, but some people are just more open about sexuality. It kinda sounds like he and his dad only really bonded over adult conversations, so it may be that is all they really have.

[jgibsonian1986]

I was going to say that serious talk about sex between a man and son is a pretty clear mark of maturity. But this is clearly not mature or respectful conversation. I don't like it either tbh :/

[summiter]

As a guy I find it weird. It is ok to ask your dad for sexual advice but to share porn etc. is weird. How is your sex life with your boyfriend? Is he trying to compensate for an issue?

[Browneye57]

"It freaks me out."
I quit reading here. Yeah, it's weird, so just dump him and move on. You surely don't want to be 'freaked out'. LOL

[Thatsamazing]

Well... yeah. Why wouldn't it be.

[Asker]

I wouldn't be questioning it if his dad wasn't sending him graphic videos. I think it's okay to talk about sex but it reaches a certain point and goes too far when its constant porn being sent to each other. Do you think it is normal for him to casually discuss his sisters breasts and use of vibrating panties to other people, especially his girlfriend? Truly curious thanks for the feedback!

[Thatsamazing]

I would say that sending each other videos isn't the norm for sure, like I wouldn't want to do that specifically, but it's not like it's outside the realm of possibility. I dunno what you're freaked out about though.

[Asker]

I get what you're saying. That's why I'm trying to be open minded about it. I'm worried I suppose because I have never heard of it going this far or been exposed to it in a relationship so I don't know what to think. I'd never be cool with talking about my sister in a sexual manner. Incest is a lot more common than I think most realize so it's a possibility in my mind but that could just be me, which is why i posted this question.

[Thatsamazing]

Uhh well I don't think that that's what it's about, probably (incest I mean). That's not the likelihood here. I agree that it's more than usual. Guys may talk about sex even with their dads but it is true that it's usually to a lesser degree than this.

[Asker]

Thanks for the help :)

[Iron_Man]

Not with videos

[PureHuman]

disgusting.
they are shit,
how can a brother talk about her sister like this?
how can a father provide shit to his son?
they are sick, they are evil for sure.

[pocketman]

no, dad is too conservative. My parents and I have never talked about sex

[CubaPirate]

No not at all imao

[sreyæ]

Yes it is cause there is nothing bad in sex. it is not a sin everybody does it there's no need of being shy to discuss it with your parent

[Anonymous]

lol no