Should I stop communicating with this guy?

I’ve been getting to know this guy through online dating and having a few chats with him. During one of our chats, I asked him what he has put on his “bucket list” of things to do before he reaches a certain age, and he told me one of those things was to visit a nudist beach. He also keeps talking to me about movies and tv shows which have sex in them, and telling me ‘not to watch certain scenes’ which are sexual in front of my parents

i felt weirded out by this because I had a previous boyfriend who had a sex addiction and sexually harassed me and it really traumatised me. When I heard this new guy say this, my heart sank and I felt sick because I was worried I’d be speaking to someone new who was obsessed with sex.

Is this a red flag? Should I be worried about what he said, or am I overthinking it? Should I stop communicating with this guy?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well first, just food for thought, I wouldn't jump to conclusions and bring your past into this relationship. He is not your ex. Maybe you have some issues still with that, and if so, I think you need to work on those before getting into a serious relationship, with him or anyone.

    Second, nude beach, I wouldn't give this a second thought. A lot of people would like to try this and nudism doesn't equal sexual. Unfortunately because of our society people jump to that conclusion but google nudism and read up on what it's all about and their beliefs, there's nothing sexual at all about it (for a true nudist). And this is curiosity for a lot of people so this in itself wouldn't bother me at all.

    The second part about sex in movies, and "not to watch
    certain scenes which are sexual in front of my parents"... this does seem like a very weird thing to say and I don't know what that says/means? lol Maybe he was just nervous and talking to talk? lol But I wouldn't automatically write this guy off because of this. Give him another chance. See how another date or two goes. Especially if you liked him before all this. And if you can separate the feelings from your ex (over the sexual things), how was your vibe about him aside from that? It might have been those feelings which are affecting how you feel now, and not so much this guy as a person?

    I wasn't there, so I'm only playing devil's advocate here, and I'm not saying to ignore your gut feeling or anything, do what you feel is right, but, it does sound like to me that you are overthinking it just reading it here on screen. I say give it another date or two and see how it goes.

  • We're all sexual creatures, so I don't think there's anything 'wrong' with someone being sexual, but context is important. The way this guy is bringing up (or hinting at) sexual topics seems a bit weird, so if you're getting creepy vibes you should probably trust your instincts.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Get used to it, Guys will be guys. Visit nude beach-whats wrong with that? Well it's not his fault if you are stupid enough to put on sex scenes if your parents are in the room

  • In my opinion you’re overreacting. Maybe he’s telling you about the sexual scenes so that you and your parents don’t get embarrassed. Wait it out and see how it plays out

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 6
  • If your guts says you should stop, there is a reason why... you may not why directly but subconciously your instinct says to bail out... I recommend trust your instincts

  • Yes, I think so. He seems too sexually charged for just a few chats.

  • Why do you hate sex so much? I think that's the bigger issue, many guys are sexually driven, if you don't want sex you might as well not be in a relationship these days since that's what they are in this hookup culture

  • You are in your 20s why would you have to hide sex scenes from a movie? Plus if you feel you do not like talking to this guy then don't. i am sorry your exbf sexually traumatised you but not every guy has an addiction to sex. Now if you told him what happened to you with your ex and he still pushes about sex then he is an asshole and you should cut all ties with him. Find a guy who will treat you better and may help you get better about sex.

  • Enjoying sex is not sex addiction. Even being obsessed with sex is not sex addiction.

  • If you're looking for a long term relationship, I think this is probably a red flag

    If you're into casual stuff, just have fun... I think the guy is more looking for a sex thing than a relationship

  • Yes maybe stop