Sex and Religion?

[Anonymous]

So, for some background info, I’m 20, and I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months. We’ve only made it official some weeks back. Anyway, as things progress, we’ve engaged in some sexual activities with the main exceptions being oral and full-blown sex, per my request. Not due to lack of interest but my own inability to make peace with my conscious as I’m a Christian. I really don’t want to wait till marriage to have sex, but I also want to be able to look myself in the mirror and not feel like I’ve completely disobeyed God’s word.

I’m also pretty into this guy. Though there’s been other guys I’ve gone out with, he’s my first boyfriend. He’s not pushy but the conversation has come up multiple times and he wants to move further (sexually) eventually, and, right now, I don’t know if I can give him what he wants which sucks considering what he wants is also what I want. I just don’t want to deviate from my religion.

Also, my family is religious, as well. I’m unsure of how I would even go about getting birth control without using my parents’ insurance, as they would be extremely upset at even the mention of premarital sex. I’m definitely being pulled in many directions when it comes to this and I hate always feeling like I’m trying to please everyone else, but at this point, I feel like I lose either way and just don’t know what to do.

This is really difficult for me which is another reason why I’ve put off relationships for so long. I genuinely care about this guy and I really don’t wanna get dumped over this. It’s been quite a while since I’ve turned to this site for advice but desperate times, right? I welcome any advice. Thanks.

[teamvic]

Well you see unfortunately for you. If the guy you're dating is like the majority of guys, which it sounds like he is considering he's asking. Eventually he's gonna get tired of not getting none. You know what I mean? It's a desire he has and if it ain't getting fulfilled then well he gonee

And also a lot of these Christians be having sex before marriage
And why not just get condoms? That ain't gotta be on insurance, but you say you're not comfortable with it. So... I guess your best bet is just have a talk with him and tell him what you wrote here. That you do want to have sex but you know you wouldn't be able to look at yourself even in the mirror because of your beliefs and he would have to wait. But that's only a temporary fix cause if I'm being honest i dont see a solution for you guys anytime soon, unless you tryna rush marriage

[slatyb]

Which of God's words are you concerned with? Many Christian and Jewish denominations think premarital sex is permissible. Your parents may pay for your medical coverage but you are an adult and they are not entitled to see your medical records. It's a major HIPAA violation for your physician or the insurance company to disclose your health records to anyone, even your parents, without your authorization. First call the number on your insurance card and ask them. Then talk to the physician when you see them. Then figure out how soon you can move out.

[Asker]

I see what you mean. Do you mind if I ask, do you believe it’s permissible? Also, I actually moved out a couple years ago.

[slatyb]

I'm not religious. But since about 1940 about 90% of people marrying in the United States have had sex before marriage. So no matter what anyone tells you, including your parents, few people are chaste until marriage. If you've moved out then your health records should be coming to you, not to your parents. Call the insurance company and make sure that's happening.

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't be engaging in any sexual activities with him until you are married; if you're a Christian that doesn't want to be sinful. That said, forgiveness and mercy are a cornerstone of the Christian faith; so you aren't screwed and bound for hell from this sinful behavior if you are humble and seek forgiveness from the Lord. If he wants the same things you want sexually; well then congratulations you guys are sexually compatible. Now if you are willing to wait tell him that you also want this stuff; but you are trying to be chaste. However, if you can't wait and need birth control; you are an adult. You can get a job and you own insurance so you don't have rely on your parents.

[Anonymous]

Waiting for marriage for sex is a bit silly, how do you know if you’re sexually compatible?

[ecfresh]

Talk to your parents and let them know you need birth control. It’s better to prevent pregnancy. I’m also a Christian and remember going through the same dilemma. You will have sex soon, so better to be prepared. And if you talk to them, they will support you.

[deshwin]

Believe me we all have tht urge to have sex with that one person, so like if u wanna do itz its your rights, its your body, if you're older than 18 then they can't control. you, plus you won't disobey god for doing premarital sex, its bad yes but its not super wrg untill you think god will banish you from heaven, dont worry, as long you can control yourself.

[Asker]

Thanks for the reply. Unfortunately, my parents would never support that.

[deshwin]

Well then you're old enough to make your own decisions, sometimes not everything should be approved by your parents, sometimes we ourselves need to take the risk of our own decisions

[7ooda]

I see you should wait

[Anonymous]

Well if you really want to follow God please wait till marriage otherwise you are just trying to trick him. Are you silly and think its possible?