Why do I feel sad about not losing my virginity? And Is it normal to feel this way?

[Helppleasemaybe]

this is my first year of dating and college and so many people have experienced things including my boyfriend who’s had sex before, meanwhile I’ve never had sex in my life and just had my first kiss no tongue yet. I just feel so bad about being so innocent and I don't know why. I’m also a very shy girl. I don’t know why I feel bad/ sad about this my mom told me that she felt proud that she was a virgin at my age. I don't know what’s wrong with me

[ohshee]

There is nothing wrong with it as a matter if fact it's cool you have to be you and the way I see it your a leader not a follower. I was 16. And I wanted it so bad I had chances and never took them I masturbated all the time thinking of it when the time came again and I took it when I was finished,, I asked myself WTF what happen to the 4th of July the big bang I got off more masturbating then I did with sex I was pissed I thought to my self I fucked up. I'm sorry GOD I thought for sure I was going to hell ,, it sucked 2 days later had the chance to do it again so I did ,, hey hell is hell right ,,, the same thing happen. WHAT THE FUCK,, even more mad about it then the 3rd time came this time I looked at the whole thing different , I thought of every thing every reason why it was bad and I could only think of one reason ,, it was. I was bad I sucked at it the girl I was going it with was 3 years older than me and had experienced it before so I said I'm not going to do it for me I will do it for her I will make it all about her,,, I did and it changed everything when we finished we both had out of body experiences it was great ,, I think if u want to be good u should experince things try things ask question roleplay things out

[Being_a_good_Indian]

For some people, having sex for the first time is an act of committed love. For others, the loss of virginity is a path to greater sexual pleasure and personal fulfillment. Virginity comes in many forms. Some virgins may be eager to have sex, but unable to find the right partner. Others may be comfortable waiting, while quietly worrying that their inexperience means something is wrong with them. Some people may feel so ashamed of their sexual inexperience that they lie about their sexual history. This can actually compound stigma by contributing to the illusion that people are having more sex than they actually are. Additionally, anxiety about sex can make a person’s loss of virginity stressful and less pleasurable than it might otherwise be. When people feel ashamed of their perceived inexperience, they may feel uncomfortable communicating with partners about their sexual history, preferences, or needs. This can make sex less enjoyable. Hope it helps. Don't feel ashamed of what you are. Be proud that you have self control. Any queries?

[Anonymous]

Don’t feel bad, it’s a great thing. I lost my virginity 3 months ago, I’m 20. I waited until I felt comfortable and was ready and my boyfriend was patient and gentle with me. I had sex 4 months into my relationship, an I’m so glad I waited. People put so much pressure on you now days to lose your virginity young or whatever but you just do whatever feels right for YOU.

[Anonymous]

It is a lot safer to be a virgin; STDs are at pandemic levels. Yet no one seems to want to talk about it.

[Helppleasemaybe]

But I don’t understand why I feel bad about being a virgin? My boyfriend probably doesn’t have STDS at all but I’ll ask him to make sure and we’ll always use protection of course

[Opinion Owner]

FOMO (fear of missing out) most likely. You feel like everyone is doing it and is happier than you because of it. Whether they actually are or not. If your boyfriend is sexually active he probably does have an STD; over 53% of adults in America have at least one.

[Helppleasemaybe]

He’s not sexually active and he has been in 3 relationships before me

[Helppleasemaybe]

Trust me he does not

[Opinion Owner]

You said he has had sex; thus he is sexually active. Has he been tested for an STD? As that is the only way you can be certain that someone doesn't have one (outside of virginity); he might not even know it himself.

[sensible27]

Name, the name checks out.

[SlothySlob]

Current social standards about sex and social pressure to lose your virginity is probably one of the most retarded things, when they preach about fat acceptance and the likes.

[Helppleasemaybe]

But the thing is I don’t even have social pressure I never did I just naturally feel bad and I don’t understand

[SlothySlob]

I'd argue that it is social pressure pressuring you to experience sex at a young age. I'd argue it is because questions like "You still haven't had sex? You still haven't done drugs? Do you even live?" are more prevalent than self improvement, discipline and or just living your own life. It's when you ask those questions yourself, that we as a society have deviated from the previous norm.

[Helppleasemaybe]

Nobody has told me this though. Do you think I feel bad because other girls got to the do it with my boyfriend but I haven’t?

[Helppleasemaybe]

He had gfs before me and is not a virgin

[SlothySlob]

So you're saying you're naturally a jealous person? That trait of yours can be a bad thing, if not manifested correctly. I'd suggest talking about it with your boyfriend, if you believe that he's mature enough to handle this properly.

[Helppleasemaybe]

Maybe when it comes to this sex thing but I’ve never been a jealous person everything else is just meh to me this feeling is new to me. It might be because I feel like I’m missing out I don't know

[Helppleasemaybe]

I promise you that I’m a very laidback girl and I’m not the jealous type i just feel a certain way about this manner and I’m not sure why but this feeling is different for me

[Grond21]

I am 32 years old and I am still a virgin. Not because I haven't been offered sex before, which I have. Multiple times. But it's because I value sex so highly that I'm waiting for marriage to share it with that special someone. So don't be ashamed of your own virginity. Despite stupid people around you, it is a good thing

[Thatsamazing]

"But at the same time I’m also scared that I won’t do well at sex and that maybe my boyfriend will lose feelings for me if I have sex with him" uhhh sis... that's not how it works-- he'll lose feelings for you if you DON'T ever have sex with him.

[crmoore]

I'm not sure how valued or relevant my opinion is, but I don't think there's a single thing wrong with being innocent, a Virginia, or shy, or any of that. In fact, I think that are all rather appealing qualities (though I don't mean that flirtatiously). You don't have to have done oral, gone to parties, or smoked weed. Some people aren't party people and there's nothing wrong with that. Some people take their time with sexual things and with that, too, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I'm sure your boyfriend will understand your situation. And if he doesn't, he's not caring and considerate enough to be your boyfriend.

[crmoore]

A virgin* not "Virginia" 😂

[coffeewithcream]

I'll be right over. :)

[Twalli]

Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. My girlfriend was 33 before she lost hers.

[bklynbadboy1]

But why would you feel bad about that cause that's a really good thing

[Helppleasemaybe]

I guess maybe because my boyfriend has done it with other girls and not me? Maybe that’s what’s making me feel bad?

[nonameneeded__]

If thats the case then you're not sad about your virginity but you're sad because your boyfriend is not virgin.

[OddBeMe]

It’s normal but wrong. Don’t feel sad about waiting for the right person. Also keep dating and try to meet the right person. And it may not be the person you marry. That’s fine.

[Hotboy_booblover]

What is there to feel sad about unless it was against ur wishes

[discotony]

If it's a choice for not losing your virginity then here's a huge respect bc u should only lose it when ur completely ready and if u lose it earlier, ur not smart enough

[Helppleasemaybe]

Yeah it was a choice but now I want to lose it when I feel ready and trust my boyfriend

[discotony]

If u've learned bout it and completely ready then go ahead but yeh also be sure that ure never gonna regret

[Deepukhu]

See if you don't wanna have sex then its okay. Being virgin is normal. But one should have knowledge of sex. So read books and educational videos (not porn and that stuff).

[Helppleasemaybe]

I can’t buy a book about that

[Deepukhu]

You can see videos on internet related to that but not porn. Educational videos only

[JordanJohn06]

As a 19yr guy... Feels like I'm the only one still a virgin.. Is that wrong at this age?

[Helppleasemaybe]

No it’s not im almost 19 too. I just I don't know this is just a new feeling to me

[JordanJohn06]

It's a new feeling for me too.. Like just want someone to play w/tha D a bit