A guy went from treating me like his little sister to wanting to have sex with me, help?

[BilyanasBeach]

Please read what happened to me, I don't know how male brain works but I want to try to understand-
I met a guy when I was 16 he was 21, we were such good friends. We spent so much time together for a week (reading a lot, talking, eating, watching movies, we pretty much lived together for a week) I considered him my very good friend by the time I had to leave. After a week I texted him and we had a nice friendly conversation. He was always very caring and considerate with me, like I am his little sister, or at least a dear friend, he was to me. We live far away so in a year he texted me, I told him my 18th birthday is coming very soon and suddenly he started to be pervy. He asked if I have a picture of me in a bikini, what I wish to do if he was there, if I get "excited" when I ever think of him (excited is the best word I could think of in English, he basically used a proper way to ask me if I get turned on) I tried to keep that conversation as friendly as I could but it ended quickly, if this information helps it happened at 3 am, had to sleep. Then in a year I texted him, thinking this time everything will be fine, maybe he was just horny the last time and didn't mean it. But he was pervy again-He asked if I ever slept with a guy, what I want to do when we see each other again (I moved to a city where he lives), he said he wants something but considers I'm still not ready for it (like it's obviously sex isn't it lol) but when I started to get annoyed he tried to be kind again. Why did he go from treating me like a little sister, to treating me like he just wants to have sex with me? I didn't send him a bikini pic, I didn't say anything naughty to him either of times... Did you ever do this to a girl and why? Can I keep our friendship? Could he want a relationship? Could the first year of knowing him be just an act and this is his true intention? Tell me your opinion.

[Thatsamazing]

Sigh... when will girls understand that the "brother/sister when we're really friends" thing is not actually a thing? How is this something you don't understand?

1) There is no such thing as "pervy." It's a fucking retarded term, get it out of your vocabulary immediately if you don't want to sound like an idiot.
2) Gal-- boys and girls *are not actually friends.* ESPECIALLY when they are *close* friends. If you are pretty, objectively so, even if you're like decent, you don't actually have any male friends. What you have is males who want to have sex with you. Period. We still like you of course, and we like you for you, but we want to have sex with you. We are only "friends" with you because we can't be more, even if we want to be more. He is lying to himself, and possibly you, by saying that you are friends. This is true not just for this guy, but for almost all guys you will ever meet in your life (unless you're like really fat or something). Please understand this.
3) The age difference doesn't matter and anyone who tells you that it does is a moron.

[Bhavin2184]

First year of knowing him was act he was just waiting for you to turn 18. He is just desperate manipulative horny creature trying for only sex
So avoid desperate creature and end the friendship
Hope you have good healthy future ahead

[BilyanasBeach]

Thanks for answering and thanks for wishing me well

[roxy_362]

I think the answer is hidden in the description of your question. It sounds very much like this guy had sexual intentions about you, but held on to them until you became an adult. Unless a sexual relationship is what you want as well, continuing an innocent friendship with him will probably not be possible.

I wouldn't generalize your friend's behavior on all men, but I met enough men through the years hiding sexual interest behind more innocent motives that I become wary when I encounter such a case. You and I may never really know how the male brain works, but being cautious at the beginning of a new relationship will help you in general. If you meet a man who is sincere in his friendship motives, then you can treat that as a fortunate case.

[BilyanasBeach]

Thanks, your answer is one of the most helpful ones. I always wanted my relationship to blossom from friendship, and he would be a good choice without the texts he sent. If he went from one extreme to another, treating me better than any guy friend ever did, and we both enjoyed each other's company that week without anything sexual, to just receiving sex related text where he strongly indicates he wants it, is a relationship possible? I can admit I find him attractive, and might want a relationship, it has been 3 years so I need to see him, talk to him face to face again to decide, but would he consider it? Do you think all he wants now is sex and the friendship part is forgotten. Even though I'm sure it was a very special time for him too. I didn't mention but there were like 2 or 3 more very short conversations we had through texts where he was just wondering how I'm doing, and the second one wondering if I moved to his city now. They were short because I was busy. I don't know what to expect the next time I see him, not that I will rush seeing him, I'm enjoying this city with my girlfriends, but eventually we will see each other. I imagine he won't be the same lovely guy face to face he was when I was 16, I guess a innocent friendship truly is impossible, but would he maybe want a relationship or this only sexual now?

[roxy_362]

Believe me, I truly feel for you... Been there, done that with men... I'd love to write more, but it could be easier in real-time with private messaging, if you wish... Let me know!

[BilyanasBeach]

Sure, I would love to, can you text me first, I don't know how xD

[roxy_362]

Hi, I just sent you a text message here. If you reply to it, we can go from there. Talk to you soon!

[roxy_362]

Have you received my text message here at GAG?

[thatonearies]

Because he's a groomer who's trying to take advantage of you. Please get away from this sicko immediately.

[OlderAndWiser]

When you met, you were 16 and he was attracted but you were underage. He controlled his feelings. Now you are legal and he feels free to express himself. He may be inexperienced, awkward, and simply not know how to express himself in a more sophisticated manner. Despite his actions, he may actually want a relationship. What do you want?

[BilyanasBeach]

I have always wanted my relationship to blossom from friendship, and I'm shy to admit that I find him attractive, and I though he would be a good first relationship for me, until texts happened. So... Now I'm not sure what I want. I sort of want to see him again, I need to see how he will act in reality after 3 years, my real life memoirs of him are great but texting not so great. You think he may want a relationship, what if he just wants sex? Also he is not inexperienced, and he is not awkward, I think his charisma is very nice, yes maybe he should just find a better way to express himself or wait until there is something more serious between us xD But maybe he doesn't want anything more serious hence why he is just sending these sexual messages to get the only thing he wants asap? What do you think?

[OlderAndWiser]

If he is not the shy and awkward type, them his intentions are probably primarily sexual.

[coffeewithcream]

He likely saw you as a friend then realized- wo, she's hot- then his hormones took over. Happens.

[BilyanasBeach]

@coffeewithcream The only turning point I see is that I turned 18. Because like we didn't see each other in 3 years, I haven't been on Insta or Facebook in half a year I delete them, but even then I didn't use it for posting pictures, maybe I posted like 1 or 2 pictures in total a year after we last saw each other, but they were never sexy or anything special. The first time he was sexual I'm pretty sure I hadn't posted anything, in fact that conversation started in a innocent friendly way, then I said my 18th birthday is coming, and then he started with the sex stuff.

[bodukem]

It sounds like he was waiting for you to turn 18 or at the very least was just being friendly with you but once he realized you were going to be legally of age no his mind is only concerned about sex

[baerose]

Sister fucking on pornhub 😂

[BilyanasBeach]

loool I was trying to be serious 😂

[AmeerX]

It was not an act. It was real then too. He just thought you might be interested in him

[dudeinohio]

When you turned 18, you became "legal" or "fair game" for sex... so he turned on the sex attempts. He was waiting until you turned 18 to make his moves. He wanted you all along but didn't want to get in trouble.

[BilyanasBeach]

He just wanted me for sex? Or do you think he wants something more? To switch your behaviour so drastically, it is something I never expected, for him to treat me so sexually after treating me so nice.

[dudeinohio]

Well, he *could* want you for a relationship too. Just he can full-on pursue you now.

[Naughtyboy71]

The only way you be his friend is to fuck him