Im so scared of getting a women pregnant I dont want to have sex, tips?

[Anonymous]

My very first time i had sex we had a pregnancy scare (i was wearing a condom but she was a week late and freaked out) we were both virgins so neither of us had the confidence or trust to deal with it properly

Ever since then i have not been able to shake that feeling in my brain about what if i accidently knock her up. I dont want kids right now (possibly at all) and i dont really want to engage in sex unless there is 100% chance that she will not get pregant

I dont trust the women to be taking the pill 'perfectly'. I've even considered getting a vasectomy as im fairly confident kids aren't something im going to want, plus i know that i would not be a good father, i know im emotionally distant.

I psych myself out everytime i have sex (i am able to push the thoughts aside enough to have sex but they all flood back afterwards)

I dont want to discuss this with the girl in question as i know most women want kids. I've got a limited 'pool' of women to begin with. I do tell people i dont like kids in the hope they can make the link that not liking kids probably means that i dont want kids

[screwy1]

They have the morning after pill now I believe and nonoxynol-9 the spermicide lube only way to be 100 % don't put in she get aroused if u tuch her butt if so see she let u put it in her but she can't get pregers that way till u get comfortable with having relations and know all the sensations and feelings your body has during sex practice I know how ya feel I was scared to eventually I kinda knew what to expect n I used lthe lifestyles wit spermicide till she got on pill that actually kinda ruined it for me later on we didn't use stretchy straws anymore rawdog creampies after that till we split I found it hard to go back to strechy straws couldnt feel anything

[Twalli]

There is still a small chance with anal.

[Twalli]

I got a vascetomy last August and I don't regret it at all. The hardest thi g is not having sex or masturbating for 2 weeks afterwards. You also can't do any sort of exercise for 5 days, and nothing strenuous for 10. In terms of being declared sterile there are 2 tests. Cum 15-20 times or wait 3 months (whichever comes first) and cum into a cup for the first sample, then give them another one about a week later.

PM me if you want any more specifics, but I recommend a vascetomy if you don't want kids.

[HartleyB]

This is a sad situation I'm sorry to see this :/

But can I ask, do you do anything else with a 99.8% chance of not having unwanted consequences? How can you do anything without being afraid if you won't Even do something that is so close to 0% chance of the bad thing happening? I wish everything had those odds! 😅

I hope you can find a way to come to terms with this it must be a terrible feeling :/ do you and your partner enjoy non penetrative Sexual activities as well?

[Asker]

Non penetrstive i love because there is no danger of pregnacy so im all for that. Toys etc. Love it and want to do that more and more But penetrative is a nope for me. Also other things in lofe dont force you to have no lofe for 18 years

[HartleyB]

Yeh well why don't you keep doing non penetration sexual activities? I do it way more than penetrative sex because I enjoy it and there is nothing wrong with that?

[Asker]

Because the enjoyment isn't really what im focused on. Its more the preg fear im trying to combat Pleasure isn't factored into this. Well my own pleasure isn't anyway

[HartleyB]

I'm not really getting what you're saying because you want to have sex for pleasure and not pregnancy, you love non penetrative sex and you want more of it, but you aren't factoring in pleasure? I'm not really getting what you mean but good luck with it :)

[Asker]

I love getting the girl off. Thats all i require. I dont need amy pleasure myself, if i need pleasure thats what porn and masturbation is for and im wanting to tackle the preg fear because i dont like having something wrong with me i have to fix it. I feel like im failing if i have something wrong with me Yes im a perfectionist

[HartleyB]

We love toys to though you know? It gets me off more than a dick tbh hahaha

[Asker]

Toys im fine with yes. Still adds to the point of my own pleasure is kinda inconsiquental

[TJFreshman22]

Use protection so they don't get pregnant.

[Asker]

Protection can fail. Pill is only 99% effective IF taken perfectly, condoms are only 92% effective (might be even less)

[loveseeker9824]

If you're wanting to have sex, find a good girl, make sure you're both ready and she's understanding, and start doing it with her. That way if she does get pregnant, everything will turn out better.

[Asker]

I have a good girl but i am not good father material. I know that plus i wouldn't want anything to do with a kid Id like to have my own life thanks not forced into a life if caring for a kid for 18 years and then being too old to do the stuff i wanted to do in life

[loveseeker9824]

I understand that, and I feel the same way. But if you want sex, then you're gonna have to accept the risk or don't have sex until you're mentally prepared for the consequences. Good luck

[Asker]

Why not just do everything you can to prevent pregnancy? Thats what anyone with half a brain should do

[loveseeker9824]

Then why haven't you done that already?

[Asker]

I have done as much as i can. Guys only have two options condom and vascetomy

[Browneye57]

Easy. Get married first.

[AdithyaR]

If you're really sure that you don't want kids, then you could get a vasectomy.

[Asker]

I've been considering it for a while tbh

[Asker]

But even they can fail. 1 in 2000 i think

[AdithyaR]

If you overthink that much then any solution will have risks, even if it's tiny.

[Asker]

Exactly. I want there to be a 100% security. Surely in the world we live in someome hasn't developed a way that works 100% of the time

[AdithyaR]

Nothing is ever a 100% sure. There can always be risks. You just have be brave and go forward

[Asker]

You call it brave i call it reckless. Why would you want to run the risk of kids? Kids ruins your life

[AdithyaR]

I'm afraid there's nothing I can that will help you now

[Twalli]

You'll know if it fails before she gets pregnant. You have to give two semen samples. The test of the samples takes maybe 5 minutes at the most.

[Walrus_au]

Don't get women pregnant.

[discotony]

If u don't want to have sex it's normal, don't do it!

[Anonymous]

Try the "Provo Push" Google it.

[Asker]

Dry Humping you mean?

[Anonymous]

Get fixed. It’s quick and easy.

[Anonymous]

Some knowledge about how they get pregnant will help you... Talk to your partner rather than not "trusting" her

[Asker]

Oh thats why im so scared i know how easy it is for a women to get knocked up it doesn't take a lot of seamen to do that. Even a little from precum or a small leak can cause it Also i feel that conversatiom should happen near when you plan on proposing to someone

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, some kind of responsibility may help in these kind of situations.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[EmmaMary]

@Asker Proposing? In what way?

[Asker]

What other way is there. Proposing marridge

[Opinion Owner]

If you are planning to propose, that will help you get some confidence... So that sex will be a discussable thing between you guys

[Asker]

Im not planning on proposing yet. Far to soon

[Opinion Owner]

Up to you dude... U can obtain nothing without some risk or some responsibility.

[EmmaMary]

@Asker Oh so you're not having sex until marriage then, is that right?

[Asker]

No im having sex. But the discussion of "do you want kids" won't happen till nearer marridge

[EmmaMary]

@Asker Got You. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Join a Monastery and become a Monk.

[Asker]

Im not relgious

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe not, but it would save you all this stress, anxiety and distrust that's fucking your life up.

[Asker]

To me that sounds more like running away from the problem. Which i have been doing for the past 7 years and it isn't working anymlre

[Opinion Owner]

In that case you have a choice, start trusting women more and stick something on the end of it, have a vasectomy or do as I have already suggested.

[Asker]

I want to trust people but noone ever gives me a reason to. You dont give me any proof and just ask me to trust you Been there got burned became depressed thought about taking my own life once, no rush to repeat that