I haven't seen my family in almost a year, now they want me to come home and make up. Should I go?

[The_little_gay_robin]

Im going to try and make this long story as short as possible but its still going to be VERY long so please bear with me.

When my parents found out I was gay I was 16. They practically assaulted me to get me to admit it (Grabbed my arm and wouldn't let go). I wasn't ready to tell them anything about my sexuality let alone that I was something they considered an abomination against "God and his church."

The next year and a half was hell. They treated me like I was a drug addict, censoring everything I watched for even the slightest sensual content, they threw away my computer, and forced me to go to confession every week even though I stopped believing in that religious garbage. Keep in mind that I had zero dates with either gender at that point, they had never caught me watching porn or even masturbating before, they were just so paranoid that my homosexuality was a product of "the world" influencing me to be a slut. Thats the insane mindset they had.

They would sometimes *try* to be kind to me, every so often they would both come into my room, sit on my bed and and talk all soft and caring... about how god hated my sin and I would go to hell if I didn't live a life of chastity. And punctuate it with a "we will always love you."

When I was 18 I graduated, got accepted to a college several states away, moved in with a roommate and blocked my parents number.

Now I'm 20, my roommate is now my wife, and out of nowhere I get approached by a private investigator (which I didn't even know was a real thing that existed) who gave me my mom's phone number and told me my parents wanted me to call them. So later that night I call them and basically they say they're sorry they didn't listen more and they feel like they pushed me away. They want me to come home this coming weekend and have dinner and be a family again.

I didn't tell them I was married. I didn't tell them I would come. I just said id think about it and call them back. Should I go?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I'm leery about this situation and it is a shady situation
with a family who are over religious, trust me if they can send
a private investigator to get in contact you, what says they
can't hire a private investigator to do something to you and
I know I sound crazy and please accept me if I am wrong but
I don't trust some religious people, they can be nice and butter
you up to come to visit with them and can honestly take you in and
not let you out or leave the house, yes many have committed false
imprisonment and many religions have led to crimes being committed
I know I sound weird but I like looking out for people and their well
being cause I do believe anything can happen and I do not judge people
based on their sexual preference so I stand up for the LGBT community
I don't judge gays, lesbians., bisexuals, transgenders I believe everyone
should be free to be what they want to be. Best wishes on whatever
you choose but I would not go to them without police protection

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for most helpful guy :D

[In_Trance]

Tell me why you wouldn't go

[The_little_gay_robin]

Apart from a 6 hour drive just to probably hear the same shit they told me back then, unless they've truly, radically changed their minds on a lot of things its just going to pull the scabs of old wounds. For them and me. The best thing I ever did for myself was leave my old life behind.

[In_Trance]

Fair enough. Looks like you've made your decision

[CupcakeKiller]

Tough call only you can make. If you go, don't have high expectations. You tell them if you do go that you call the shots. Dinner at a restaurant, do no go into the home of your abusers until they prove themselves.

[Avicenna]

Only if you think it will be more positive than negative

[Iron_Man]

Yes you should

[Tunasub]

You can pick your friends but you can't pick family. Whatever happened they have extended an olive branch. Will you get not agree on things again? Yeppers. Being related doesn't always a family make... and you may trust the people you have met along the way more than them... but they are still the people that loved you before and still love you to this day.
I assume of course. I also hope that's the case. The decision is yours. I'd at least go to talk about the time you were away. Good luck. 🙏

[EngAhmad]

Yes you should go
Wven what happened still your family