*trigger warning* Do you think it's normal to not react to having been raped or keeping quiet?

[Anonymous]

I was raped by my ex boyfriend. At thhe time i felt what had happened wasn't right but I also didn't want to label it rape because he was my boyfriend and I loved him. Months later he strangled me and that's when I called it quits. Shortly after I realized what he had done was indeed rape. He had my upper body hanging off the bed as he attempted to penetrate me (honestly my fear helped me out here, my vagina tensed up and literally was squeezing out his D) saying I had been bad, all while I struggled to pull away or get up because of the position I was in. I kept trying to kick him and yelled at him to stop, I didn't want this. He was successful and i simply could not get out of this position so i started yelling out for help and started crying. Finally he stopped. I trying leaving but he apologized and there i stayed after forgiving him. There were other times, one when i struggled to get him off (laying on me) and he didn't stop till I cried again, that time left me a nasty bruise on my forearm. Then another time (actually a few times) where I have been too high to function. He used to pressure me into smoking more than I could and I would get so sleepy and out of it that I can't talk or move. I later caught on to what he was doing and no longer smoked with him it made me so nervous to be around him and mj. What I don't understand is, I don't feel like crying about it or telling everyone I know about it. In fact I never told anyone bc I'm actually embarrassed by it. I don't know it doesn't affect me the way I've seen other people (people I've met) where it messes them up really bad and they're on medication. Could it be I'm not so bothered because he's in prison now? (Other reasons) Or because I realized it way later? I don't know y'all I'm normal right?

[ronnienewman]

Whatbis normal period? Its shock... i was raped by my sisters at 12. Because of my constant sexual advances... and puberty...3 of them and two friends of theirs with one guy... for 2 days. at firstbibwas scarwd but once i relaxed and gave up submission... i was enjoying it... including anal and oral on a penis... i have never told anyone until recently... it didn't ruin ke i considered it a training erxercise really... turnedme into a sexhound thars down with all. I had an encounter recently with my 3 sisters and enjoyed itt and the boyfriends. Overrcome it dont let it destroy you. take control... pegg aa man with yourt friends.

[AustinMan]

I feel like that's a very personal decision. I'm really sorry that all happened to you. I strongly recommend that you pursue getting some therapy to help you get past this. You don't have to live with the triggers and all the other stuff being assaulted brings.

[BillieJean1070]

There can be or is an embarrassment that it happened "to me".

[Kurαȷ]

Yes, it is perfectly normal to be in denial after being a victim of abuse.
It's a coping mechanism, and it's the primary reason why so many people don't report abuse right away.

[Kaneki05]

I've seen a lot of girls who don't even realize it's rape... There just like oh he's my boyfriend it was okay for him to be rough even tho i said no oh it was okay for him to do it when i wasn't in the mood :/ It's normal in a deluded Stockholm way yeah to think oh it's okay. I wish more people could see it rather than be deluded

[Neko911]

Depends some people just take to different

[Raikousen]

you're not reacting because women are wired for rough sex and you probably enjoyed it and fantasize about being taken advantage of.

[Asker]

Hmm how about no. Sex alone is painful for me 9/10 times I would never

[genericname85]

i think this is historically a way harder topic than it ever was, cause the line between consent and rape becomes more blurry by the day.

we don't know anymore what rape really is... but if you did not want to have sex and you have made it clear that you don't want sex and then he forcefully had sex with you by being fully aware that you don't want to, then i think that is absolutely 100% and undoubtfully rape... i know in real live it's rarely so clear cut.

[genericname85]

so considering it is such a tough shit to deal with, i think it's completely understandable, when people stay silent. and i do think you should find someone you trust to talk about this or even get therapy. and i think coming out with that should be an option.

[genericname85]

cause you know exactly how much those accusations will fuck someones life up. and you're not sure if your experience was such a major thing for you that it's ok for you to fuck their life up so much... so to figure out if it was, i suggest seeing a therapist.

[Asker]

I don't plan on doing anything on it, was just asking about my reaction. He's already doing 25yrs and this happened to me 3 years ago. I have two 3yo daighters that he's the bio father of, I want nothing to do with him. I even refused to speak out against him in court about his crimes and affiliations. Hard pass on speaking out about the rape 🙅‍♀️

[genericname85]

oh... ok. please don't understand this as my thinking that something is wrong with you but did you see a therapist about this? because i think what happened to you is a very traumatic event that can really hurt you to the core of your being. and i don't know if your emotional wounds have healed or can ever heal if you don't go there.

[r0ddy]

Nobody's going to know why you're dealing with it ok apart from you. But yes you are completely normal, it's good you understand what he did to you was wrong and you should try to avoid his type... However in many cases where girls normalize it in their relationships like this they tend to find themselves craving similar, either way is fine.

My personal advice would be not to dwell on it too much, considering the guys in prison, it doesn't sound like you particularly want to press charges and I feel like you are only going to make it a bigger deal in your own head if you hold onto it!

Apologies if any of that came across insensitive, sorry to hear you had to go through that.

[COMMODOREII]

Yes you are normal. And talking about it helps the healing process. You did nothing wrong. Being manipulated is the worst kind of abuse. But you will be better it just takes time.

[ask4any]

It's normal to change. Unless you enjoyed it!!

[asshole_]

It's known as "date rape"

When it's someone you know, such as a boyfriend, or family member etc..

Guys, no means no

[jirwin7979]

im a guy n was raped as a kid its hard to trust guys

[shamrick]

1 u should report him. Even if u loved him he did something wrong. 2 it is not normal usually people would speak up

[Anonymous]

Well, there is no such thing as normal and things affect people in different ways.

Its good that you understood what happened to you and now you will be better able to protect yourself in the future.

There aren't any rules, you dont have to spend the rest of your life at home crying and washing yourself.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you make a lot of bad choices.

For example: “I trying leaving but he apologized and there i stayed after forgiving him. “