Sexual Relationships
+1 y

TRIGGER WARNING!! rape topic. move on if you're not mentally stable please?

so this is gonna be a tough one to speak about but a really easy question to ask. i don't have the answer. i can see very good arguments for both sides. so here's the Premise:

Accusations of Rape fuck up someones live in a major way. Rape fucks up someones life in a major way. not a comparison of what is "worse". just two independend facts

do you accept the premise? if not, please comment. Here's the question assuming that premise is correct:

can the severety of how much rape accusations fuck someones live up SOMETIMES (not always) be worse than how much the victim got fucked up by actually getting raped.

i am fully aware that this is a tough ass question to answer. so please really think about it first. and remember: if you feel anger or rage right now, just leave it be. don't write an answer. nobody forces you to think about it.
0 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • So what you're trying to compare are actually two different scenarios, because you can't compare a woman being raped and her rapist being hurt be "false" accusations. That doesn't work.

    So scenario one is an innocent man being falsely accused of rape. What happens? Odds are he wouldn't be falsely imprisoned, but would suffer a lot in terms of reputation in the court of public opinion. That sucks, no one wants to be lied about and have rumors spreads about them especially on a subject so serious. Its not right but you can't force people to be convinced of innocence, you can only show them how you were aquitted of all charges and go on with life.

    Scenario two is a woman being physically violated. If you're having trouble thinking of which is almost invariably the worse experience, consider this

    Would it make you more upset if someone called you an awful name, or punched you in the face?

    Would you rather deal with someone spreading rumors about you, or have someone much taller and stronger than you beat you up, hold you down and painfully force something inside your body for several minutes?

    If you're not a dishonest person, you will acknowledge that the latter is an exponential escalation of harm, this is why accusations of rape are given such serious consideration, especially since the #metoo movement. If you are falsely accused, you have every right to vindicate yourself in court. If you feel particularly aggrieved you can even file a civil suit and try to convince a judge that the assassination attempt on your character was so blatant and severe that it warrants compensation.

    What is not fair, and i hear this argued a lot, is having those who come forward with allegations punished by default if they lose their case. I hope i dont need to explain how that discourages justice and silences real victims of rape and other abuses.

  • VICTIM
    -their sense of safety is hugely compromised (probably forever)
    -their sense of trust, namely in people of the opposite sex, is hugely compromised, (probably forever)
    -they are often ostracized by about half of their social circle, or those who are made aware of the rape (some will sympathize and offer support, others will be of the school of thought that the victim brought it upon themselves due to their choice of apparel, group they were hanging with, etc.)
    -they are not at fault for being raped

    RAPIST
    -their sense of safety is unchanged
    -their sense of trust in anybody is unchanged
    -they might be ostracized by half of their social circle, though that's assuming that a lot of people are made aware of the rape. Which nowadays, with all these 'privacy protection acts', is becoming less and less common
    -they are at complete fault for the rape

    That's kind of a summary of how both parties are affected on extremely general terms. While I'm sure there will be an occasional outlier, I'm having trouble thinking of a case where the consequences of the rapists actions affect them not just equally, but worse, than the victim.

Most Helpful Guys

  • The premise is correct, though individual cases can and will vary. False accusations hurt real victims. No crime should lead to a conviction without evidence, false accusations should always be considered a possibility in any crime, that's part of the point of a trial.

    Unlike other crimes, however, just the accusation itself can cause irreparable damage, and there is a lot of gray areas in what can happen with an accusation. Everything from mistrials, to insufficient information, to ulterior motives, makes it difficult to punish real rapists or to punish false accusers.

    There's no question to me though, that both deeply deserve punishment.

    • i'm actually going a step further than that. i'm thinking about the consequence that you carry when actually did you rape someone vs the consequence of actually being raped.

  • Alright yes being accused of rape can really fuck your life up even if they turn out to be untrue (most aren't there just isn't enough proof either way) and can have psychological impact on the persons life.

    So in my opinion there is no poiny comparing the two since they both cause pain to others

    • what if we're not talking about "fake accusations"?

    • innocent till proven guilty, so if without a shadow of a doubt that it happen then. Bury the fuckers under the prison

    • so you think murder is as bad as murder?

    • Show All

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

Related Questions

If you had the power to snap your fingers and make something happen instantly what would it be?
Why would any man believe a real raped victim is damaged goods?
Do most guys prefer being on top more?
Guys, I'm Okay with hookers and "escorts", but wouldn't it make more sense to bring your magic to a single mom?

What Girls & Guys Said

6 8

  • False accusations fuck up someone's life, and that's where the problem lies.

    Accusations against an actual rapist do fuck up their lives, but that's exactly what should happen. Anyone who does something fucked up should not just get away with it.

    And yes, rape also fucks up the life of the victim, but that's not something they have deserved, unlike the rapist.

    • those are fair points. i don't know "what should happen". i 100% agree that they shouldn't just "get away". i'm just trying to look at 2 different things and figuring out what's worse without letting my emotions sway my decision.

    • Well then you can treat it like any other crime. If someone does something bad to you you'll seek justice whatever that is. If someone fucks you up it's fair to not let them be.

  • I think part of the problem is even if he's proved innocent a lot of people won't accept the verdict, he'll be the one who got away with rape rather than innocent. Worse still is if no one knows the truth but the case gets dismissed for lack of evidence. I doubt many guys would stay in their local area with a reputation of being a rapist, even if that reputation is unjustifiable. It will also leave a mark on his criminal record, even though it will clearly state his innocence the fact he was accepted would ring alarm bells in some peoples minds, there's no smoke without fire.
    As for women who were really raped that's a grey area. I don't think you can compare a rape at knife point with a boyfriend who never pulled out at her request. Rapes a terrible crime but I don't believe it ruins lives to the extent many claim.

    • you know i always think you're somewhat of a troll but this answer, specially the last part shows great consideration and compassion. i have nothing to add. thanks for your reply.

  • I generally would say no. A false accusation can sometimes be proven to be just that, fake. A Rape victim doesn’t get that. A false accusation can lead to jail but can also be proven fake and the prisoner let go. At most they have to deal with that pain for about 40 years. A rape victim lives and dies with that trauma.
    Falsely accused people face social stigma and ruined reputation, rape victims receive that ontop of pregnancy, possibility of being targeted for an honor killing and STDs.

    • i hear what you say. to clarify. i do mean cases where there was actual rape. i'm not speaking about fake accusations here, though those are certainly not a nonissue. so what i see here is that you're making some assumptions which i'm not sure if they're accurate. so i'm not telling you that you're wrong, i'm asking you to think a bit more about what you said in the following regards: so let's say the rapist got 40 years in prison. and after those 40 years in prison, they will still have the reputation and social stigma because they did actually rape. that stigma never goes away. it makes it harder to find a job. on top of having been in prison for 40 years. assume the guy was 20 when he raped a person and got to prison for 40 years. he gets out. he's now 60. considerable debt. no carreer. and very bad chances of ever finding work again. that is pretty damn severe. so on the victim side, you say they live and die with that trauma. yet you don't know how much "trauma" there actually was. i mean how do you actually measure the negative impact that had on her life? and how do you compare that to 40 years in prison with very little chances to ever have a decent live after prison?

    • i mean she will have trauma. no question. A: i don't know if that trauma will be an issue forever with good therapy. and i don't know how much her live actually was negatively impacted. she could still find a husband, have children, a career and an overall good life right?

    • Trauma is common and often lasts for years, even decades, and plenty die with that trauma. Depression. Anxiety. PTSD. Borderline personality disorder. Body dismorohia. Shame, including public shaming, further violence, damaged future relationships, STDs, unwanted pregnancies Etc. THAT is severe, and it’s forced on the victim, and it’s perpetuated throughout their lives. I say his punishment is equivalent at the very least.

    • Show All

  • As someone who's been raped b4 this is easy 4 me to answer. I Strongly believe a false rape allegation can be worse then the fall out of actually being raped. If people take the false allegation seriously then his life is legit ruined. No job, he has the title of rapist now. A victim can get better over time. He would never be able to get past that label

    • first of all, i'm sorry that this shit happened in your life and i'm happy to see that you seem to be very mentally stable about it. would you be ok with me asking a follow up question? i'm really trying to be as respektful and polite as possible with this topic, while still learning something.

    • Sure ask anything

    • I messaged u 2 make it easirr

    • Show All

  • I think it's hard to like compare these two, I'm gonna go with being a rape victim is worse.

    Like if you get raped a touch that we all see as sweet and loving will instantly remind them of the trauma they suffered, reliving it again. The fact that you have your own mind controlling your body, but someone strips you from that control and do what he/she pleases and you just have to endure it, must be horrible.

    Some rape victims aren't even taken seriously. I think there 'are less male reports of female rapists' because they're either not taken seriously or the guy is too ashamed of it and stays quiet about it. What about the religious people who believe in sex before marriage, being violated, feeling unwanted, not pure anymore etc. Feeling anxious of people around you all the time must be horrible

    • fair enough argument. i respekt that you were able to rationally reason your opinion with a question that triggering. that's certainly not something everyone can do.

    • This is true yes. But a raoe victim can always get help, And eventually the pain will get better. I've been through this and lile you said the touching thing. I can't stand to be touched. Makes me freak and have panic attacks. Have for 19 years of my life. But I could and can get help to make me better one day. Even if it does take me awhile to do so. A false rape allegation leaves a person labeled for life. You can't come back from that unless u get cleared 200% and even still people will still think u did it. It ruins any chance u have for almost anything n life.

    • @Neko911 or it the accusation gets proven false then and there. Every case is different :/

  • Watch the Brian Banks story.
    He was going to go to college on a scholarship for football. A guaranteed NFL draft pick.

    He was 16 or 17. He met this girl at school.
    They went to this hallway that everyone makes out in.

    He almost got caught by a teacher. So he changed his mind.
    She got mad and accused him of rape.
    He was intimidated by the justice system to plea no contest with a promise of probation only.

    After pleaing no contest judge gave him 6 years in jail and have to register as a sex offender for life.

    He served 6 years couldn't get a job girlfriend lost his NFL chance.

    4yrs of trying to prove his innocence he finally had enough proof to prove she lied including a confession from her admitting it.

    So yes they should be punished because it ruins the person accused of it just as bad.

    • that's not at all the question i'm asking xD my question would be: even if he had actually raped that girl. would that punishment in your opinion have been justified?

    • I actually think they need more punishment a lot get out after spending 6 years in jail and do it again.

    • ok. i can logically follow that argument. thanks for your input.

    • Show All

  • Rape accusation is worst than rape. At least people pity the rape victim. Everybody attacks the person they think raped them and even when there names are cleared if isn't the same
    Remember brian bank, Man lost his life and career over a fake Rape accusations. Went to prison

  • Agape makes a good point. If you're falsely accused and can prove it, you can not only get out from under it but you can sue for damages. If you're raped, it's forever and you have to deal with it, and if the rapist isn't caught, there's no reparations whatsoever.

    • i am actually talking of a case that is verified to be rightfully accused. can you ever have a "good life" after being in prison for rape? and on a scale from 1-10 how much does that negatively impact your life? can you ever have a "good life" if you were raped? and on a scale from 1-10 how much does being raped really negatively impact your life? that's really the essence of my question.

    • I see what you're saying. Well now... once the rapist is out of prison, they could pay for a new identity and leave the country, or not, and live with the memory however it affects them. The rape victim has to deal with the event all their life, and most never "truly" overcome it, according to what I've read. From what I've read, you cope with it, deal with it, and do the best you can. So I conclude, the victim is worse off than the perpetrator if the perp is indeed guilty. I imagine, but I haven't investigated this, that many perps will convince themselves they're innocent because "she wanted it", even if they're found guilty.

    • i would saying "generally" what you said is probably mostly right. though i actually think that someone might be done and over with the trauma of rape by excellent therapy work. i mean of course that will always be a part of your life. but i think the potential for limiting the negative impact may be greater than the potential for limiting the negative impact of doing prison time cause you raped someone. now my goal is not at all to say rapists shouldn't go to prison or whatever. i'm just trying to compare the outcomes on a rational level.

  • Rape accaccusations are a defamations of a person's character. It is hard but they live with that and move on. Victims or rape are mentally and emotionally taken a part. Not everyone can live with that especially if they live in culture that focuses on the victim as the problem. They often can not live with that.

  • It can depending on if some 1 gets help or not

  • Just bro... Stats says that on 1000 rapes, only 2 are false accusation, 200 are reported to justice and 12 rapist go un jail... So yes... There is false accusation... But well...

    • i'm not talking about false accusations actually. i'm trying to compare the consequence of "having raped someone" to the consequence of "being raped by someone".

    • 95% of raped girl get post trauma problem... 4times more then soldiers after a war... And don't forget that most of rapes are inside the family... How are U supposed to live or to believe in someone when someone who is supposed to be that close to U did U that?

  • The way I see it is: If anyone (male or female) accuses someone of rape and is investigated n is proven to be false or just agree allegations that, the accuser should get the same punishment and shame as the accused would have gotten if found guilty. It is true that sometimes just the accusation alone can very damaging not just to the reputation of a person but it could potentially ruin their whole life.

    • do you think being raped necessarily ruins all of a persons life every time?

  • Like people who felt someone up when they were sleeping and only 12 at the time before they even masterbated or anything like that deserve to be relentlessly bullied and murdered by them.

    • What they are doing.. (Murder) is far far worse!!!

    • i disagree that the act of touching a 12 year old is comparable with murder. nevertheless it is a dreadfull crime that must be punished.

    • No the 12 year old was the one doing it.

    • Show All

  • This is why I'm not a gentleman. No, I'm not walking you to your car after closing time. I'm not giving you a ride home because you're too drunk to drive. I don't take women home when they've been drinking or go home with them. Etc, etc. False rape and/or sexual assault charges are far too common and my children depend on my livelihood, so I'm not risking it.

    • yup... that's what "me too" brought us. people are now so scared of false accusations, that they don't dare to act normally anymore.

    • To more specifically answer your question: I can only imagine how badly rape will mess you up. However, I know plenty of men and women who've been victims, and it can permanently change everything about the victim. An accusation alone will stigmatize a man to his friends and family. I know men who have been victims of false accusations and lost friends and family over it. An indictment for a false charge is much worse, even if he's exonerated. Careers ruined, jobs lost, divorces, etc.. A false conviction would be devastating. Years in prison being treated as a rapist when you've done nothing wrong? We all know what that means. Women practically SING it with angelic fanfare. I purposefully leave out TRUE accusations of rape because a rapist deserves no consideration. He deserves everything he gets.

    • i'm not asking about who deserves what. i wanna rationally think about what the worse thing is to deal with. not tryint to legitimate the one thing with the other thing. i'm not trying to take blame or punishment away from rapists.

    • Show All

Latest Questions

Thoughts on the “Lolita” influence?
Do you feel comfortable sleeping naked or with pjs?
Do you want to sleep on pussy?
What is something girl could do to make you hard instantly fully clothed?
Home >  Sexual Relationships  > TRIGGER WARNING!! rape topic. move on if you're not mentally stable please?