In YOUR Opinion: What Is The Difference Between BDSM And Abuse?

Question

Serious question... Yes if you just rolled your eyes just keep on scrolling... I want to know your honest thoughts... I see others misunderstanding the things I post about and ask... I hope this brings clarity... BDSM is not abuse... I would do a mytake but those seem pointless on this site... I'm obviously not an expert which is why I am asking for feedback...

magiusX26 · Accepted Answer

bdsm is a blanket name for a large portion of all kinks. what most call bdsm is either the b (bondage) and/or the 1 version of sm (saddism machoinist). sm also stands for slave/master (sexual sense). and the "d" stands for degredation by the way.
all things under this umbrella term are consentual. often set with some form of contract. although many would think such a contract would be one sided in favor of the more dominant in such a relationship, they would be wrong. modt of the power ultimately is in yhe more submissive party's hands. the sub gets tge final say in what is and is not permissable and to what extent. a good contract will have safe words or some other special factor to cause everything to stop immediately.

to understand what all kinks or fetishes fit under the umbrella of bdsm, think of what all can be binding, degrading, submissive, a show of dominance. in the other kinks out there. many of which are smaller umbrellas themselves, and sometimes only 1 or 2 under these sub umbrellas fall into the earlier bdsm umbrella but pull others of that sub umbrella in by association. an example is foot fetish. foot feish has foot worshiping (main reason it falls into bdsm) shoe fetishes, socks fetishes, stocking fetishes, foot jobs, toe licking, and a bit more.

within reason feel free to pm me for more specific questions. i do not know everything about all but do know a lot about a large majority of kinks.

Grond21 · Accepted Answer

Unfortunately, I think the line is blurry. It shouldn't be. BDSM should be all about respect, affection, connection, and consent.
But some people can have twisted desires that stray into the the abuse category. And just because they consent to it, doesn't mean it isn't abuse.

To take an extreme example, she me people like snuff films, and some people have happily volunteered to be killed in the film. While they knew what they were doing and consented to it, that doesn't mean that it wasn't abuse of the highest kind

laurieluvsit · Answer

The only difference is whether it is acceptable and desired by both parties is all or not OMG! YES!! ... what is yours? :)

wingattebaby16 · Answer

bdsm is voluntary... it is a choice Abuse is not voluntary and is forced upon you by another person, who intends to do you HARM!

FireRedPikachu · Answer

BDSM: Controlled pleasure and pain ratio with a safe word

Abuse can lead from BDSM for example your whipping my vagina and I start to shield it because it too painful but you forcefully spread them and continue.

Also Whats your secret to having such a cute belly button.

lilkittyamy_ · Answer

Simple, the difference between bdsm and abuse is consent and trust. The sub has consented and is hopefully enjoying everything the dominant does to them, and the sub has the right/power to stop the session at any time if they feel uncomfortable for any reason.

errorgoodnameunfound · Answer

1. BDSM is just a kink. Just. A. Kink. Nothing else and when done right, there is usually a "safe word" that can be said at anytime that means to stop everything in case it gets too intense. Abuse is Harley Quinn/Joker, 50 Shades of Grey, and I think Twilight too.

2... The author of this likely has a thing for BDSM and that's why she's defending it. Basically, if you ever send her a gift, she probably prefers spike, a whipe, or very shiny black clothing. And a sparkly, rainbow, unicorn horn. just to screw with everything.

Ericalovescats · Answer

I mean consent is definitely the biggest factor. Plus the safe words are definitely a big idea too.

DevikaButts95 · Answer

Consent.

RJJ33666 · Answer

I am not a big fan of BDSM, but it is definitely not abuse. I mean, a lot of people like BDSM and really go for it. In BDSM, your partner agrees to perform it without any problem for sexual reasons while abuse is when you really hit someone because of hate, real hate.

jsincal · Answer

Abuse Is the damage to another human being.

Sexual abuse has many different forms. For example rape. You are effectively taking away someone’s freedom of choice in the most Painfully destructive way possible.

Your brain has to live with this lesion (yes rape causes lesion in your brain) and the connections of your brain alters. It alters in the decision you eventually make. Having thoughts, emotions, anxiety, etc. you never had. A rape victim has to process their own damage but first you have to go through the usual steps of processing. This is because most the times it doesn’t get reported, which means also you don’t accept what happened. And since you don’t accept what happened, you can acknowledge you need therapy because why fix something that’s not broken right?

Rape fantasy is different. You did it on your own free will, where both you and your partner discussed and have a mutual understanding. When this happens, it doesn’t illicit trauma. It actually is sexy for both because it’s surrender to your partner on either side... trust.

BDSM is exactly this. So if you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to. But if you do it for your partner where you don’t enjoy it, it can be traumatic but less. Still you’ll resent your partner.

Communication and love with a slice of freakiness.

Jjpayne · Answer

Consent and the desire to want to do it

RydiaMagnifique · Answer

Safe words. In abusive relationships, there are no safe words. In BDSM, there are safewords that are respected.

DrippingHoney · Answer

The difference is consent

Freddy78361 · Answer

1. Consent.
2. One is a healthy expression of love/passion by both.
3. There are agreed upon rules/limits and safe words.
4. There is a lot of BDSM porn. The only abuse porn is on the dark web. Hopefully.

Bedazzled2 · Answer

Bdsm is consensual and abuse is not. Bdsm is pain but it’s actually pleasurable, while abuse is unwanted and unasked for

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

BDSM is whatever you want it to be. Abuse is not.

Sargentcaptain · Answer

One's done with the consent of the 'victim', the other isn't.

alice55 · Answer

The difference is the consensuality of the act done.

ariadneR · Answer

I feel that bdsm is something that is wanted by both people, where as abuse is not. With BDSM it is based on trust, abuse is definitely not about trust.

JosyJosy · Answer

One's with consent.

humanearth · Answer

Consent and I get it. Wife and I practice the BD/SM lifestyle.

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