Are these insecurities really only in girls head? Or Guys, is any of it is turnoff for you about girls physical insecurities?

[Anonymous]

Ok it’s long list but I really want an answer 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 As detailed as possible please 🤞🏻 girls are known to be insecure about small things (we girls don’t think it’s small 😣) and it’s often said guys don’t even notice it or they never care (I wish so🥺🤞🏻) ... even most beautiful girls have at least more than one of these so please let me know what doesn’t matter or you notice or what is Slight or big turn off...
1) stretch marks on butt
2) Stretch marks on bust
3) uneven skin tone everywhere
4) dark private
5) dark inner thighs
6) dark underarms
7) strawberry legs
8) razor bumps (specially down there)
9) excessive body hair (or days between waxing?)
10) Peach fuzz
11) excessive sweating
12) pimple marks
13) cellulite
14) tummy pooch
15) transparent skin (visible veins through skin on bust or chest)
16) fair girl with pigmented lips
15) fair girl with brown nipples
16) lines on neck (you know those stretch marks like or tan like lines (on neck) ? I don't know what it’s called)
17) too thin hair
18) very frizzy hair (not many girls can have beautiful hair all the time 😒)

[Lliam]

There are ideals and then there is reality.
I doubt if most guys are as obsessive or even as observant as women.

Everyone has preferences. Some guys like short/tall, thin/thic, blond/brunette, straight/curly, pale/dark skin, glabrous, eye color, whatever. You can't account for taste.

1) stretch marks on butt
2) Stretch marks on bust
3) uneven skin tone everywhere
4) dark private
5) dark inner thighs
6) dark underarms
7) strawberry legs
razor bumps (specially down there)
9) excessive body hair (or days between waxing?)
10) Peach fuzz
11) excessive sweating
12) pimple marks
13) cellulite
14) tummy pooch
15) transparent skin (visible veins through skin on bust or chest)
16) fair girl with pigmented lips
15) fair girl with brown nipples
16) lines on neck (you know those stretch marks like or tan like lines (on neck) ? I don't know what it’s called)
17) too thin hair
18) very frizzy hair (not many girls can have beautiful hair all the time ) .

I would consider certain things like stretch marks or acne scars flaws. But again, who is perfect and who expects perfection?

Skin color is skin color. Different men might have different tastes, but in the end, women shouldn't worry about that stuff. They should accept who they are. And any guy who wouldn't love them because of some issue like that isn't worthy of them.

The same is true of body hair. Some women are swarthier than others. And some guys don't mind that at all. Some women have thick hair, some have thin. The best you can do is make it look attractive. Use it to your advantage.

Some tummy pooch isn't a problem. I like a flat-looking stomach but prefer some muffin tops to washboard abs. Women are supposed to be soft.

I think the sight of blue veins beneath the alabaster skin of breasts is sexy as hell. They make the skin look translucent and the breasts look particularly delicate and tender.

I think a bit of cellulite on a woman's ass can be cute. Not that I want her to ass to look like a sack of potatoes when she wears tight pants. But some minor cellulite dimples just mean that her ass is soft and full of that unique kind of fat that makes women women. Ass dimples are most likely to show up, even on young women, when they riding a guy in reverse cow girl, sit down hard against him, and rock ther hips forward and back. Those dimples can look great.

[magiusX26]

i can't speak for all guys and keep in mind some of these will have more acceptance or less acceptance depending on both the guy's age and your age.

stretch marks on butt, unless exesively everywhere are typically little noticed, as you age they become less payed attention to

stretch marks on boobs hardly ever get noticed unless they misshape the breast in some way (think like a major dent or dimple in the side of only 1 boob)

uneven skin tone not noticed unless its major differences like pinkish white in 1 atea and coal black in another. even then, most will not care much if at all.

dark privates, inner thighs, and underarms are mostly a problem in womrn's heads. majority of humans (male and female) have some degree of darkening in these areas.

not sure what strawberry legs even is (new term to me)

razor bumps are mostly a minor issue to younger guys.

excessive body hair is more a person by person basis as to what is or isn't considered excessive as well as what does or does not bother and to what extent it may bother

peach fuzz is a minor version of body hair at most

excessive sweating is a lot like body hair

pimple marks mainly deoends on severity, placenent, and number of them

cellulite: see stretch marks

tummy pooch. for me as long as it is a pooch and not a lot more (some people think that any extra stomache amount constitutes a "pooch") are not a problem. this falls kinda into the stuff about weight and fat levels that vary too greatly for any one person to truly answer.

transpatent skin mainly is an issue if you are under 30ish to what ever degree it is an issue.

pigmented lips and briwn nipples: see dark privates etc.

neck tan lines only if you have an addiction to tanning will i notice it

the last 2 about hair are under each person's personal prefferances.

[Asker]

Wow you literally answered every question tysm for taking time and writing everything down 😊😊😊 ... so mostly it is that guys are aware of everything and girls think too critical of themselves isn’t it? Wow everyone saying same thing it’s making me feel better 😌 ... well oh and you said younger guys think more of these kind things? Is it? Means how young? 18+ ?

[magiusX26]

well sort of. like most stretch marks, tan lines (as you called them), and veins showing are expected on older women not teenageish women so will get noticed faster on such. younger guys are less used to them so will react more where as older guys are more used to them and will react less

[Asker]

Isn't tan lines younger girls thing? 🙄 And stretch marks means not I mean those after pregnancy one which are very deep I mean ones that we get when growing taller? Yea too much veins can older woman trait maybe 🙄 Or girls who do wrong exercises 🤔 (I don't have that problem anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️)... yea but maybe younger guys must not be aware of it 🤷🏻‍♀️ younger as in my age guys? 🤦🏻‍♀️😣 ...

[CallMeDave]

None of those things are a big turnoff. A lot of them are pretty common in fact and I would say are pretty much normal. I do think that women worry about that stuff a lot more than guys do.

Probably almost everyone has some things about their body and their partner's body that they would prefer to be different, but when you love someone, you appreciate them for who they are and things like what you listed are insignificant compared to the things that really matter - personality, compatibility, respect, and the special magic of love.

[Asker]

Yea of course love is important... so it’s just girls being hard on themselves aspiring to be perfect is it? Wow interesting 🤔 ... are all guys mostly aware of everything?

[CallMeDave]

I'm sure there are some guys that focus purely on physical things and that would look at some of the things you listed more negatively, but I don't think you really want that kind of guy anyway since they're mostly interested in sex and not really in a full relationship. In my opinion the kind of guy you want is going to be attracted to you mostly because of the kind of person you are. Of course, there also has to be physical attraction, but that doesn't mean you have to be "perfect". Different people have different things they find attractive and unattractive anyway, so whatever physical characteristics you have, some guys will find you more attractive than others. So I think the best approach is to be the best person you can be, make a reasonable effort to take care of your body, and then be happy about who you are. The right guy will find that appealing and will find you both physically and emotionally attractive.

[Asker]

Wow yea no girl would want guy like that anyway... Tysm^^ I hope I am not bothering you 😅 but lastly would a nice guy still want to get physical with her?

[CallMeDave]

The main reason I'm on this site is to try to use the things I've learned about relationships during my life to help people that have questions or concerns about relationship-related things (which includes questions like yours) so please do not feel that you're bothering me. I am happy to help if I can. Yes, I think it's important to understand that attracting a decent guy is not all about your physical appearance. That doesn't mean that you don't need to put any effort into looking nice. Physical appearance does matter to some degree, but I think if you take the body you have and make a reasonable effort to look nice with it (without doing anything drastic like surgery or trying to change the color of your skin anywhere), that will be enough when you find a guy you really connect with at an emotional level. Regarding your last question, I think nearly every guy likes and even craves sex so the answer is almost certainly yes. I feel quite confident that if you find a guy that you connect with emotionally, he will want to get physical with you. And I feel equally confident that when he sees you naked for the first time, he is not going to run away because of a few stretch marks or the color of your nipples or labia or any of those other things you listed. He will very likely be quite happy to be having a sexual encounter with a woman that he cares about and will be excited about what he sees. Please feel free to ask any other questions you have - either here or by private message if you prefer. As I said, I'll be glad to help if I can. I might not always answer immediately since I do have a life outside of this site, but I will try to answer when I can.

[Asker]

Uwu wow 😳 Thank you so much... I don't know what to say 🙊 It definitely made my confidence go up... i also don't know why girls feels very insecure (including me) its just you know... i mean it's not like i am trying to impress guys but i think guys are too confident they always look perfect they have no problems llike this or it's accepted for them? 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don't know... i am virgin nor ever been kissed so nothing intimate, yet or maybe that's why I feel very insecure and my girlfriends told me how there bfs sometimes laughed at them 😣, maybe they were just teasing? I don't know is teasing also love? 🙄 I don't know but Ones my crush says he likes certain things (not as he said he will mind or not mind those insecurities) I get insecure that he will be disappointed if he with me😔 but I will trust you on that yea a guy like that I too shouldn't care about right... I hope so 🤞🏻... I will keep that in mind thanks ones again 😊😊

[CallMeDave]

I'm glad you're feeling more confident. That's a good thing. Here's a few more things that might help you when you start feeling insecure again. You said you don't know why girls feel insecure. It's not just girls. Guys feel insecure about things too. They might not admit to it as easily as girls do, but that doesn't mean they don't feel it. My experience has been that almost everyone feels insecure about some things. Even people that on the outside appear very confident often feel insecure about things. So if you are ever feeling insecure and are thinking that someone else you're with isn't, just remember that most likely they are feeling insecure about something too, but you just don't know what it is because they're hiding it. I think that is a very important thing to understand. Since you're a virgin, I should mention something else. When you are getting intimate with a guy for the first time, if he also doesn't have much experience, do not assume that if he's not visibly excited when you get naked, that means he doesn't find you appealing. If he doesn't have much experience (or sometimes even if he does), he's probably feeling insecure too and worrying about impressing you. Worrying can interfere with things working as they normally would, so don't immediately think that it's something wrong with you because it's probably not. You wouldn't have even gotten to that point if he didn't think you were appealing.

[CallMeDave]

Regarding your friends saying that their boyfriends laughed at them, do you mean made fun of something about their sexual body parts (or some other aspect of their body)? If so, I think that's a bad thing for those guys to have done. With someone they care about, they should be helping her feel more secure, not more insecure. It's possible that the guys were just doing that because they were feeling insecure themselves and trying to cover that up by making fun of their girlfriends. I think that's immature, but not necessarily a bad sign (as long as they learn pretty quickly not to keep doing it because if they do too much of it they could ruin the relationship). If they were doing it deliberately though as some sort of plan to gain power in the relationship, then I think that's a big warning sign. People in a relationship should be trying to build each other up, not tear each other down. I think teasing can be fine in a relationship as long as it's done in a loving way and not a destructive way, but only after the relationship is well enough established that the person being teased feels secure in the relationship and will hear it as just loving teasing and not criticism. Criticizing a partner about something they're likely insecure about already (especially something related to sex, though it could be other things too), is a destructive act and I think always a bad idea. If you find yourself with someone that's frequently criticizing you or damaging your self-esteem, you should get away from them because they are not good for you.

[Asker]

Omo that's really comforting thank you so much... yea I think those guys are immature yes they tease girls about their body I felt so awkward I felt like good I am single but that's not way it is is it? They all act like they have no insecurities at all... my crush acts good so far he never even talk bad about his ex gfs but ones he said his ideal type it was entirely me but then he said he likes some things physically and I instantly felt insecure because i had some of insecurities from above (my question) that's why asked it, but yea he always say he ain't perfect or he is ugly or he do have insecurities too but he has this aura that it feels as he is just goofing around and not being serious I don't know but I wish to be confident and hopefully he ain't like those immature guys, if he ever comment on me like that my confidence will literally go down hill that time 😅 Hahahah uff I wishing good 🤞🏻😌

[CallMeDave]

Just because he prefers some things physically that you don't match doesn't mean he won't be happy with you or find you attractive. No reasonable person expects their partner to be an exact match of everything they'd like physically. That's just not realistic. Over the course of my life, I've had relationships with several different women that had a variety of physical features. Not a single one of them was what I would consider "ideal" in every way, but that wasn't a problem because I loved them and appreciated them for who they were and found every one of them attractive even though they were different from each other in several ways and each had some physical features that didn't match my preferences. When you find someone that you connect well with, the exact physical details just don't matter that much. I think almost anyone would have their confidence damaged if their partner said unkind things about them. Hopefully no one you date will do that. If they do, that might be a sign that they're not the right person for you. As I said before, a good partner will build you up and improve your confidence level, not tear you down and make you feel badly about yourself. Anyone that makes you feel worse and not better is not the right person to be with.

[Asker]

Yea... I might be being too hard on myself 🥺... thank you so much for such a detailed advices and your time and effort... it made me feel so much better 🥺

[CallMeDave]

You are welcome. I'm glad I could help. Feel free to contact me any time you have a question or just need some reassurance.

[Asker]

😊😊

[egarcia1360]

9. It depends on how we're defining excessive; I don't want to date a gorilla as I find that too masculine to be attractive, but a little bit is okay.
13, 14. These can be a slight turn-off for me, but again, it depends on how much there is. A small amount of either or both is pretty natural and no big deal.

Besides that, I probably wouldn't care about or even notice anything else on the list, nor would most guys as far as I'm aware. These are largely insecurities in your own head put there by unrealistic beauty standards in popular media.

[Asker]

Lol yea not gorilla what I meant was between waxing dates (I said above) ... yea second I am saying slim girl but you no abs nor flat board but little like bloating (not actual bloating or maybe I don't know lol) ... and literally nothing else? You are only 19 someone just said some younger guys might get disappointed, literally not anything else? Wow that's interesting 🤔

[Matthew2222]

Of that entire list only these would be a negative
excessive sweating
pimple marks
very frizzy hair
And they extent of each would determine whether it was really an issue or not.

[Asker]

Oh I am surprised only 3? And that too only if it's too much right? Yea too much will be turn off for me too (in boy) but that's all? Hmmm

[boggboss]

For the most part not these are not turnoff or complete turnoff

[Asker]

Wow everyone seems to be saying same thing 🤔 thanks

[boggboss]

Because for the most part this is not aomthingbguys care about yes it may lower his rating off you but that will makeup elsewhere

[Asker]

Yea but obviously it’s not gonna be first thing he see right because it’s hidden but later would you judge or would it stop you from being close to her? You know what I mean...

[boggboss]

What I'm saying is vary few guys would cut a girl off for these things

[Asker]

Yea 😅 nor any girl even guy would want a girl who would leave for matters likes this right? ... Tysm 😊 ... I am asking too many questions 😅 but lastly... yea guy won’t leave her but would it stop you from doing certain things? Like suppose you love her she’s perfect your ideal type but you don’t like dark lips would you not want to kiss her lips as much or something?

[boggboss]

No lol her pussy can only look like her pussy lol that it if its dark its not a issue thats just the colour of her lower lips why would that be unattractive or ugly I have never understood that

[Asker]

Ok 😜lol🙈🙈 I meant lips on her face but that answered my Question way better lol 🙈🙈 tysm^^

[boggboss]

Wait you really think guys would have a issue with darker lips on face you are doing some crazy overtginking

[Asker]

Lol am I? Maybe I am 😅😅 I have real fair skin I had red lips 👄 I never needed lipstick nor I ever used but now they are tanned I tried to lighten it lot they are not lighting at all thus without red lip tint I don’t feel me, many compliments how pretty red lips I have but they don’t know it’s lip tint ( not like I lie it’s just you know they compliment I smile) so I do feel insecure when my crush will notice etc etc hahaha 😅😅 ... but I am feeling little better now 😌😌🤓

[boggboss]

Trust me u really are overthinking that 1

[Asker]

Uwu wow 😊😊

[BeenThereLovedIt]

I look at the whole package, including personality, and don't care about the little things like the shade of her vagina. I do care a little bit about veins and cellulite, but the right woman would easily overcome such minor physical faults. And hell... we all have minor physical faults. You name a gorgeous movie star and I will point out her physical flaws...

And... A flaw to one man is a turn-on for another. Even cellulite. There's limits of course, but it sounds like you are caught up in the pixels and not seeing the whole picture.

[Dargil]

This is one impressive list. +1
In general, we notice and care far less than you do.

[Asker]

Really not even notice? I have heard guys even don’t notice colours shades lol is it like that?

[Dargil]

(Mature) men may notice these details but we are far less critical of them. Remember. What we see in the mirror is all we will ever have. No makeup, hair do's, implants, body alterations, etc. We just accept out imperfections and expect girls to take it or leave it.

[John83]

I don't notice any of these kind of imperfections usually. If I do notice, many of these things can actually turn me on because of the intimacy seeing them involves. For example, morning sex is most likely going to involve her hair being frizzy and seeing any imperfections on her body in a bright room, so her willingness to do it anyway makes me feel more intimate with her.

[Asker]

Omo really? I never thought guys think like that 🤔

[winterfox10]

Those are entirely in girls' heads. Sometimes guys are idiots and will open their mouths at inappropriate times, but no; we don't care.

[Asker]

Hahaha girls also sometimes say things that shouldn't have said lol..

[Lonen]

Number 14 is my only turn off, I don't care about the rest, it just makes them special

[Asker]

Oh ok 🤔

[Lonen]

What is with the unexpected emoji?

[Asker]

Nothing 😜

[Lonen]

It's hard for a girl to get something passed me. What is it, what do you want from me?

[Asker]

Lol nothing 😅 Everyone seems to be answering something I least expect to say turn off from guy but things that I think would be total turn off instead guys saying they don't care it's interesting and making me less insecure 😐😐 thanks ^^

[Asker]

Oh I just checked you are 17 ? Oopsi 🙊

[Lonen]

What do you mean oopsi?

[Asker]

lol nothing

[Lonen]

I don't know if I'm supposed to be happy or nervous

[Asker]

Always be happy 😌

[Lonen]

I don't think I have felt true happiness in a long time but I always have a mask on

[Asker]

It's sad nowadays even teens complains about not being happy, somethings surely wrong with the world we are living in 😞😣

[Lonen]

No it's just me, the situation I'm in with my family has caused me to crave attention, even doing bad things just to get attention, I don't care if I get a small amount of good attention or a bigger amount of bad attention, and this attention is used to full my madness so yeah I'm crazy.

[Asker]

It’s not just you, this world has become very toxic 😣 no one have time for loved ones, lots of competition, pollution and lot more etc etc this all is causing people to become violent, sad and numb, no medicine can help this when everything around is so toxic 🤦🏻‍♀️ But omo trust me you are only 17, you will find your way eventually And become much wiser and everything will be good but you will miss being 17 again so don’t forget to cherish this age too... I wish I could become 17 again 🙇‍♀️

[Lonen]

Ok, will do.

[Jamie05rhs]

It's only a turn-off for me if those things make the girl withdraw from the relationship even after I tell her it's okay and she's still beautiful.

[DiversityHire]

Those are all things that I care nothing about, or in the case of random dark skin, an absolute turn on.

[COMMODOREII]

1) stretch marks on butt - dont care
2) Stretch marks on bust - dont care
3) uneven skin tone everywhere - dont care
4) dark private - dont care
5) dark inner thighs - dont care
6) dark underarms - dont care
7) strawberry legs - dont care
razor bumps (specially down there) - dont care
9) excessive body hair (or days between waxing?) - big turn off
10) Peach fuzz - dont care
11) excessive sweating - depends how she is sweating
12) pimple marks - turn off
13) cellulite - big turn off
14) tummy pooch - big turn off
15) transparent skin (visible veins through skin on bust or chest) - dont care
16) fair girl with pigmented lips - dont care
15) fair girl with brown nipples - dont care
16) lines on neck (you know those stretch marks like or tan like lines (on neck) ? I don't know what it’s called) - dont care
17) too thin hair - dont care
18) very frizzy hair (not many girls can have beautiful hair all the time ) - dont care

[Asker]

Oh wow thanks for taking time and writing everything in details... I am surprised no one cares about no 1 to 8, I though those all are biggest turn offs 🤔

[alwaysintosomething]

I notice all of that in girls and yes they can turn me off. But if I like who she is, these flaws won't matter that much, but she must have a really nice personality.

[Asker]

Yea if girl is very pretty and has your ideal girl type of personality but when you get close to her you notice things like this like if you don’t like black lips and she has it but you love her would you not want to kiss her lips as much or something?

[alwaysintosomething]

I guess if like her that much little things like that wouldn't change how I feel.

[Asker]

Oh ok... so definitely not deal break right ... thanks 😊

[andy530]

Honestly none of these are deal breakers they just make you human and some of them can be quite attractive really

[Asker]

Really? All of it? Even if girl have literally all of it? And which of these can be attractive? I am really curious 🧐

[andy530]

Yes! I think as people we can get a little too in our heads about these things and insecurities. Just a couple that I find attractive at times are: dark lips, stretch marks on ass, and stomach pooch can all be attractive depending on the person

[Asker]

Interesting 🤔 I really hope it’s true 🥺👉👈 I won’t say I am ugly... I am confident and very pretty but I have got 50% of things (from that list) and it makes me very insecure inside 😔 ... but tysm I am feeling little better 🤓

[andy530]

I’m sure you’re gorgeous inside and out! It’s easy to be your own worst critic! Keep pushing through the negativity!

[Asker]

😊😊

[andy530]

Hey I love to meet new people and if you ever want to talk feel free I’d always love to

[Asker]

Wow that's so nice tysm 😊

[Rob17792]

guy's don't give a shit about that stuff. look the woman I love has cellulite and stretch marks and I still love her, I just wish she would throw me down on the bed and sit on my face and smother me with her sexy thick thighs and face fuck the hell out of me lol

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend has 13 and 14. I find her cellulite a bit of turn off, but really like her lower belly pooch.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is different, not only the guy, but how he sees different women, but what I can almost guarantee is it doesn't "matter" as much as you think it does probably. Chance are good it bothers YOU way more than it will us. Generally speaking, especially if we are already attracted to you, if we see something we don't like, we just don't focus on it that's all. We simply focus on what we do like. We don't expect "perfection". God knows we aren't perfect lol. Everyone has body insecurities. Like you, we are probably more concerned about our own than yours.

[Asker]

Guys have insecurities too? I mean yea they are humans but I think guys doesn't have insecurities do they? And what if you really like girls with pretty hands but this girl has everything fine but not pretty hands so it must be real despointment?

[Opinion Owner]

Like I say, we don't generally analyse like you women do, not that closely. And yes we definitely have insecurities. We don't talk about them usually, but we have them lol