I want to have sex for the first time but there’s a lot of stuff that I have doubts about?

[Helppleasemaybe]

I really want to have sex for the first time because I’ve been wanting it for a while and curious. But there are so many thoughts that go through my head like “what if this is a big deal to me but for him I’m just another girl on his list?”( he has had sex with a bout 3-4 other girls. “Is a condom enough to not get pregnant?” (I can’t buy birth control because my parents can’t know that I want to have sex and they drive me everywhere) “How long should i wait?” (We’ve been dating for 3 months and known each other for 4). And I do believe that this is the right guy because he is so sweet and he is always talking about he wants to marry me and grow old with me so he is committed to me but at the same time I’m very scared of getting pregnant because I don’t know if a condom will be enough and there’s no way for me to get birth control too but I also feel a bit sad about being a virgin and I really want to experience what sex is like.

[brokenhearted99]

Hey! it is really nice that you are considering losing your virginity to this boy, as you have said he is sweet and always talking about marriage. I would just like to give you some advice from my personal experience. I waited for a very long time to have sex, and I had sex with my first boyfriend after a few months of dating. He too was very sweet and talked about marriage. We actually ended up staying together in a relationship for two years. However, he did recently break up with me. I don't know if I regret losing my virginity to him, but just know that if you do- IF you guys break up, it will hurt ten times harder because he is the one you lost it too. Now, at the end of the day it is not the be all and end all, and it is just sex. But if it is important to you, and you have doubts, I recommend waiting. Because if you guys break up (not saying that you will) it may cause you a lot more hurt and upset. Just trust your gut though!

[Helppleasemaybe]

I’m so sorry

[Helppleasemaybe]

If you don’t mind me asking, why did you guys break up?

[Girly1710]

Has he been bringing up the idea of having sex? If so, I’d be more skeptical of the “being together forever” talk from him. Are you actually 18? Because if you are, you’re old enough to take a bus or an Uber to a clinic to get birth control prescribed and as a legal adult your parents would not have access to those medical records. Personally, a 3 month relationship would feel too soon to me, especially at age 18, but different people have different comfort levels. However, with how nervous you appear to be, I’d guess that you may be pushing your comfort level. In my opinion, waiting cannot be the wrong choice. If you wait, you can stay with this guy until you feel confident and prepared. OR If you wait and he leaves because he doesn’t want to wait, then is this the guy you would’ve wanted to be with anyway?

[Helppleasemaybe]

I’m not going to have sex right now lol. The thing is that I’m always stuck with my little brother, I can’t drive, and I still live with my parents. I pretty much have no freedom he does have more freedom though

[Girly1710]

Okay, then what exactly is your question?

[Helppleasemaybe]

I want to have sex with him someday he hasn’t brought up sex or anything. My questions are the ones in the description too

[Girly1710]

If he hasn’t brought it up yet, then maybe he does take it seriously. I would assume that the ones who just want sex would have brought it up well before the 3 month mark. Condoms aren’t 100% effective. When used properly, yeah they work, but accidents exist so that’s why I’d recommend a second method of birth control. And the timing is your decision. There’s no one answer that suits everyone. I’d say as long as you’re having a bunch of worries just keep waiting. That could be another month, or it could be 6 months. I think you’ll just know when you’re ready.

[Shamalien]

you know those thoughts going through your head, the worries, the thoughts that I'm sure everyone around you is telling you 'oh, just ignore those and have fun' you know those thoughts?

That's your higher self trying to communicate with you. You'd do well to listen to it. You most likely are just another girl on his list, and what is very special for you is most likely just bragging rights for him. Once you go through that, once your 'special moment' is taken for granted, and treated like nothing special, you will be emotionally distraught. I'd say the vast overwhelming majority of girls lose it this way and just ignore and bury their emotions till kingdom come.

Don't make this mistake. The human urge to reproduce is strong, if you have any capacity at all to refuse this experience, it's not the right time. When it is the right time, there won't be a single doubt in your mind.

Not a one.

[Helppleasemaybe]

You are right I am going to wait one more month I think and see

[Shamalien]

just keep this in mind: If you aren't comfortable having a baby with them, don't be having sex with them, because I know birth control has made people forget this, but sex is how babies are made, and as Jeff Goldblum famously said "life finds a way" :P

[TadCurious]

It's normal for you to have these questions and concerns at the same that as a healthy young woman with a boyfriend you love that you want to experience making love to him. Since oral contraceptives aren't an option right now, to be extra safe when it comes to pregnancy you could have your boyfriend withdraw his penis before he ejaculates. (But I would never recommend the "pull out" method by itself for birth control. That's because it takes a lot of focus and control to pull out at the right time and also because pre-ejaculatory fluid can contain sperm.) So if you guys use the condom properly and also use extra water-based lube (if it's not water-based it can weaken the condom) then I think you guys are pretty safe if he pulls out before he ejaculates.

[TadCurious]

* It's normal for you to have these questions and concerns at the same time that -- as a healthy young woman with a boyfriend you love -- you want to experience making love to him.

[doe9de]

You should use your best judgement if you feel he is right for you he probably is. Sex is the most an amazing thing a couple can share between one another. It's not going to hurt to have a good time. The chance you will get pregnant if he uses protection is very slim. There's nothing to worry about. Just do it have fun and just go with the flow. Don't worry about will he like this or that just do what you feel comes naturally.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I believe no matter how long we been dating someone
it doesn't say we been with them long enough that having
sex with them would be fine and condoms is not all that
safe to prevent pregnancy

[COMMODOREII]

As long as you both use them wisely condoms should be enough.

[BoxySama]

If you feel that having sex will help you progress on your path, do it! he sound like he is a real nice guy, if you can use him to experience intercourse, go for it!

[BoxySama]

I imagine he is it roughly the same age as you? he doesn't seem like a player, just a young man exploring the sexual landscape

[Helppleasemaybe]

He is 22 almost 23

[BoxySama]

Okok, you are going to be extra safe anyway, go have fun

[graciedoyle493]

It will be enough he has experience if ur horny girl and u love him get what u love

[graciedoyle493]

My first time made me scream so loud but I kept riding it and going and going it felt better and better

[andy530]

These fears and anxiety is pretty normal. If you’re too anxious you should wait. But if you want to do it now then you know you best and should do it. The condom if worn properly is enough to protect against pregnancy and sti. As for if he will see you as just a number it’s hard to say but even if he does the experience is yours too and will be what you make of it

[Hotboy_booblover]

Go for it.. if u just want to have some fun... if u r looking for serious relationship I think it's better to take commitment.. discuss these things with him before the act.. after the act these discussions have no value

[Pulseofsulfur]

Talk to him about it and discuss intrests and stuff. Because you'll probably bleed when you lose your virginity maybe idek if I'm right or not. Sex is like a seesaw you got to find a common rhythm when fucking each other

[Soccerdude]

Go to other side of the world where it is legal and have sex with a horse there penises are 14 to 17 inches and real thick! you don't have to worry about condoms a horse can't make you babies