How do I keep it exciting without going too far?

[sammyss]

So me and this guy are really into eachother. We’re not dating, but i do see potential in him. We’ve kissed, but how do i make things more (sexually) exciting? I don’t want to go too fast, i want to take it slow to really build a connection between us.
By going into detail, i don’t want to have oral sex with him yet, are there any things i could do to spice things like kissing up?
Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my native language. Thanks!

[CallMeDave]

Your English is good, but I'm not sure I understand exactly what you're looking for. When you say that you're really into each other but not dating, what exactly does that mean? You do a lot of things together and really enjoy being together, but have never gone on an official date? If so, why are you not dating?

Also, I'm not sure exactly what you're looking for with spicing up kissing, but not moving on to anything sexual. You could make the kissing more sensual I suppose, but if you go too far, he's probably going to interpret it as interest in sex and that might lead to an awkward situation that could have a negative effect on the relationship.

If you can explain the relationship situation in more detail and exactly where the limit is of what you're willing to do with him, maybe I can come up with an idea.

[sammyss]

hi, thank you very much for your comment! i get that the situation might sound vague. to clarify some things: we’re not dating, at least, our ‘relationship’ is not official, but there is a big chance it will be soon. because i want to build a connection, i don’t want to go too fast sexually. i want to take things slow, but not let it get boring, youknow? i don’t really have that much experience with sex, i was wondering what else we could do besides jumping straight to oral sex or something, but still keep it exciting. the only thing i could think of was rubbing/touching during kissing.. i reaally don’t know ‘:) i hope this cleared some things up!

[CallMeDave]

I think you're wise to not go too fast sexually. I think it's important to establish other parts of the relationship first before adding sex, though it seems like you're already building a relationship even though you're not officially dating so you might not need to wait as long after you start officially dating as you would if you had just met and barely knew each other. Yes, if you want to go beyond kissing but not get too sexual, you could do more rubbing and touching while kissing, perhaps at first in less sexual areas like back, arms, face. Then later you could move on to more sexual areas - perhaps at first through clothes. The tricky part is how to let him know that you're only willing to go a little further each time and aren't ready to go too far yet. He might interpret what you're doing as an invitation to go further than you'd like to, so you should probably have a plan for how to gently let him know where the line is each time.