Guys, What can I do when I’ve been accused of sexual harassment?

[Anonymous]

This coworker accused me of sexual harassment at my job. However nothing happen between me and her. No sex no nothing. She told me she was wet and I asked her what she wanted to do and weather she wanted to bang or not? Then she reported me to my job and non of this that happen has to do anything with my job.

[Anonymous]

Did she seem like she was in a "mood" for saying that, especially towards you in that time? Was it raining outside and her clothes were wet?

If you get pulled by HR or a manager, tell them your side of the story honestly. Maybe the sooner the better. You tell them that you thought she said, and you had a lapse in judgment and percieved she meant horny or something and you responded inappropriately. Genuinely apologize for that and promise to not do it again.

I had something sorta similar happen to me two years ago, but I didn't make any lewd comments. I did found her attractive, and I made a comment one time, but that was not intended to even hit on her. Maybe it was more so on how I looked when I said it. She was wearing a wife beater and track pants, and i came up to her and looked her up and down and jokingly asked her if she was in the russian mafia. There was dead silence and there was another female coworker in her group, and I knew I messed up, despite my intentions. Probably the way I looked at her. I did promptly email her and apologized halfway not putting fault at myself. I could have worded it better for sure. Next thing I know, a few minutes later her boyfriend confronts me (working in the same department as me, which I found out the status of the relationship) and tells me I made her feel uncomfortable. I told him I didn't have the intention of hitting her on, etc.. Anyway I'm sure word spread about what happened and maybe even her manager found out. I didn't get sent to HR or anything, but everytime I saw her I could never see her the same way or have a casual conversation with her again like I did before.

If you get fired for this... or whatever happens, just learn from your mistakes and never do it again. Not worth making any comments to coworkers like that. Especially in this day and age.

[Opinion Owner]

From this I learned to not make comments on female coworkers or even remotely look like I"m hitting on them. Even though in that job many people have hooked up/started relationship, it's dangerous being a guy out there and its not worth it. Don't be a sleezeball obviously.. But if you are awkward, you're already at a disadvantage anyway and will be seen as creepy far more easier than anyone else. Just don't shit where you work dude

[Opinion Owner]

when i say sooner than later, I meant maybe just go up to your manager and tell them your side of the story.. Up to you

[Opinion Owner]

one last thing.. you're reputation is far more important than a fling at work. In this day and age, cancel culture can ruin someone's career. Have good intentions and think before you act, especially in a professional setting.

[Asker]

No she told me she was wet as in sexually aroused. And I have text of her saying stuff about her boobs. I have 2 of her coworkers supporting me of what she did and they also told me she slept with another coworker so sounds like she likes to get around from guy to guy. This is a totally unfair reports especially since I didn’t do what she wanted so she reported me. Women have wayyy to much power now days !

[Shiome223]

That's inappropriate behavior... Kind of screwed yourself there bud

[Asker]

I have proof of her telling me she was wet

[MrNameless]

what proof do you have? Unless you recorded it, its she said vs he said. And trust me pal, in this day and age with cancel culture, they're going to side with women in the workforce when it comes to sexual harassment 9/10 times.

[MrNameless]

with the MeToo Movement, I think its great that people (especially women) are encouraged to speak out about sexual harassment, especially against people in positions of power.. But sometimes cancel culture can be extreme and there aren't fair trials. Always be on your best behavior. Be professional at work at all times. I don' recommend hooking up with coworkers or making comments that are sexual in nature at work. You'd have to really make sure they like you, and even then there can be fallouts and it can mess up your ability to work. Whether you like it or not, shit like this can and will happen.

[Asker]

@MrNameless she told her friends that she likes me and non of this happen outside of work all of it was meeting and hanging out outside of work. And I never hooked up with her at all. It was all just talk