I have irrational insecurities my much younger boyfriend will leave me for a younger woman (he's 27. I'm 44) How can I get rid of these insecurities?

[Anonymous]

I started a relationship with a much younger guy about 6 months ago (I'm 44. He's 27). It started out as just a casual friends with benefits thing. However, over time we noticed we got along really well/became very close friends/were developing strong feelings for one another. When we were around each other it didn't' feel like there was an age gap. We decided to have a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
However, when we started the relationship some deep insecurities came up for me. My ex-husband of 20 years (who is my age) left me for a younger woman It tore me apart. I went through the healing process. Until now I fully believed I had recovered. However, ever since I started dating my current boyfriend many of those insecurities have re-arisen. I get reoccurring fears that he'll break my heart and leave me for a younger woman. The age gap very much adds to the insecurity. My boyfriend is legit a ripped sexy man. Younger women check him out/try to flirt with him all the time. There's a huge part of me that thinks there's no way he would prefer me (a middle aged woman) when there are all those fit, cutesy young bodies out there.
I know I'm being dumb about being so worried. He hasn't given me any reason (as of yet) to believe he wants to leave me. He doesn't flirt with younger girls (even though I know some have come onto him). He frequently expresses affection and attraction towards me. He has no problems maintaining a hard erection during sex, and if it were up to him we'd have sex every day.
I know he's attracted to me. I know he wants to be with me. However, I can't get these worries out of my head. Part of me thinks one day he'll suddenly wonder why he was ever attracted to me at all and leave me for a younger woman. I know these irrational insecurities are negatively affecting our (otherwise healthy/happy) relationship. I want to get rid of them, but I don't know how. How can I get rid of my insecurities that he's going to leave me for a younger woman?

[Anonymous]

Whenever my insecurities pop up, I found the thing that helps the most is just putting them out there in his face haha and asking for reassurance. The reassurance usually helps subdue them for me. If anyone can make you feel better about it, its him. If your insecurities are relentless you could always try having someone you trust or a relationship therapist triangulate the conversation. Just thoughts, from my own experiences, definitely not top-notch advice.

[Asker]

I've kind of mentioned my insecurities to him, but I've never truly been completely upfront about them to him/put them all out there. Part of it is that I'm a bit embarrassed that at my age I have these kinds of insecurities, but it probably is best that I suck it up and just communicate to him about them anyways. But in all honesty I'm not sure how much he could help anyways. He makes it clear that he's very into me and is very attracted to me. If I wear anything even a little sexy I can always see through his pants that he gets a rock hard erection (which makes me feel very good). Beyond just sex he's constantly expressing love/affection towards me. He is an excellent boyfriend. That's part of what's driving me crazy. I don't know how he could possibly be more clear about how into me/attracted to me he is, yet I still have these insecurities. I know it's stupid, but they're still there and I can't seem to get them out of my head

[integrale77]

From the sounds of things you have a very strong base to your relationship having gone from casual friends to a relationship.
Sharing your fears with him will be a good start even if it doesn't stop them you won't have to keep them bottled up on top of things

[Asker]

I'm going to say the same thing as I've said to someone else because it applies here as well. I've kind of mentioned my insecurities to him, but I've never truly been completely upfront about them to him/put them all out there. Part of it is that I'm a bit embarrassed that at my age I have these kinds of insecurities, but it probably is best that I suck it up and just communicate to him about them anyways. But in all honesty I'm not sure how much he could help anyways. He makes it clear that he's very into me and is very attracted to me. If I wear anything even a little sexy I can always see through his pants that he gets a rock hard erection (which makes me feel very good). Beyond just sex he's constantly expressing love/affection towards me. He is an excellent boyfriend. That's part of what's driving me crazy. I don't know how he could possibly be more clear about how into me/attracted to me he is, yet I still have these insecurities. I know it's stupid, but they're still there and I can't seem to get them out of my head

[integrale77]

I do hope you can work out your insecurities. I can imagine his attraction to you extends beyond what a woman of similar age to him can offer for example you are more wise and have a lot more experience to fall back on. From a sex perspective when I was younger I experienced sex with an older woman and it is by far more fulfilling, reason being a younger woman might have urges and cravings but doesn't fully know what she wants, a more mature woman knows what she wants from sex and how to get it and that is a big turn on for us men!

[hbg84]

Become his personal porn star. Hoover him a reason to stay with you. Make the sex so great that he'll never want to fuck anyone else

[All4ur_pleazure]

Trust and communication. You have to be able to move pass your past and look for better things.

[Anonymous]

It might happen you will need to feel the love is strong