How would you feel about it?

[Janenow]

If you knew someone close to you who had sex with underaged boy or girl like 20 or 30 years ago and the child ended up being fine as an adult, what would you do?

Would you distance yourself? Discuss it? Shun them?

[jjj101010]

I think it depends on what the situation was. If one was 17 and the other 15 it’s a lot different to being 50 and 13

[Janenow]

Agree

[COMMODOREII]

Depends on the person and the situation i guess.

[AustinMan]

Ignore it. It's none of your business. If the victim wants to say something then fine. Otherwise, butt out.

[jadspop]

Kids will be kids. They get curious and sexual to. They just don't know better. If it was that long ago and they concented to it then you should probably just let it go... When I was 16(ish) I knew kids my age who wanted sex with older partners that was technical illegal. And some who actually did it.

It might be questionable for the adult party at the time... But now after so long? I'd just let it go

[Lliam]

Does underage mean under 18 years old?

I had sex with underage girls when I was young. My first girlfriend was 15. I was 16. I was a virgin before I met her, she wasn't.

All my girlfriends were under 18 up until I was 19 or 20.

Those are nice memories. I'll own up to it and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

I'm also reminded of famous musicians from the 60s and 70s who, decades later, got accused of pedophilia for having sex with underage girls. But I don't condemn some guy in his early 20s for fucking a hot teen who shows up in his hotel room half naked, begging for sex. As long as she was old enough to have boobs and be out at night, I wouldn't have checked her ID.

[Janenow]

I am talking about huge age gaps like 30 and 15

[Lliam]

That's kind of perverted. If you are in your 20s, you have no business fucking 15 year olds. I can see mistaking certain 17 year olds for being 18 or older. But not 14, 15 or 16 year olds. Once someone passes the age of consent, I guess they can fuck who ever they want.

[Janenow]

Yh I agree

[JackSmy]

I would leave it be. Decades ago? If they haven't done anything like that in the last 2-3 decades, it was probably just some one-night mistake!!

[Cherokeehp]

I would definitely distance myself. That’s fucking gross. I’d be disgusted.

[cntrytbm]

If it was consensual then I don't think I would do anything. It's the past 20 or 30 years ago and everyone is okay. Possibly the younger person in the couple may have had better experiences because of it? I think sometimes it's only our society and social pressures that makes things wrong. If you think about it, for most of history 13 14 15-year-olds were getting married to 30 and 40-year-olds. It's only been in the last couple centuries that we started to put these age limits. It's also only been the last few decades that divorce has become common. I wonder if there's a relation?

[Freddy78361]

Underage is tough because, no matter how you look at it, it is rape.

I would lose respect for them no matter what the statute of limitations is. I know that if the child were a little bit older and legal (not jail bait) it would be different but I don't care. The law is the law.

The adult could not control their impulses and desires. That is a weakness of character. I am sure that the child was 'into it' but the adult performed a selfish act without regard to the possible consequences.

That is the definition of evil in my book.
I hold the child harmless.

[Anpu23]

You can't change what has happened. If that person has a single one off 20 or more years ago doesn't express feelings that show pedophilia or sympathy towards pedophiles. I would be fine continuing a friendship.

[dublin_sexyeyes0]

Ignore it. Its in the past. Nobody hurt and frankly nobodys busuness

[Silversonic]

I don't make moral judgements about other people's sex lives. You ass, your choice. If both participants enjoyed themselves and remember it fondly, well good for them. No harm no foul.

[AmeerX]

I am not sure. It happened a long time ago. I let those younglings decide

[Surely]

If he or she have been behaving themselves ever since, just keep it in the back of your mind and let life go on.

[HonestWeirdo]

It would be hard not to distance from them. Ideally I would like to discuss. Cos difference if he was 30 and she was 14 to if he was 16 and she was 14. Also maybe it was at a club for over 18s the girl got in and lied about her age. So he was 18 thinking she was too but she was 15 for example. Also pre Internet has had a big impact on awareness. Especially sexual awareness on youngster these days that wasn't there before. For example the only way I could see some boobs was on page 3 and catch a glimpse on tv every now and then. But try pausing a vhs haha. I digress.
The right thing to do would be to learn the facts but I think it would be really hArd to remain friends

[Janenow]

Why do you assume its between a older guy and younger girl?

[HonestWeirdo]

Well the hypothetical was referring to my friend. Which are unfortunately predominantly male. Add to that if we take into consideration all scenarios it is statistically probable to be a male rather than a female.

[Janenow]

Right, what if it was a female friend, would you feel differently?

[HonestWeirdo]

We have spoke about this before! To cut it short. In certain scenarios I would feel differently. Here are 2 reasons. 1 I'm a bloke so I think like one. Ergo I find it disgusting and wrong to engage with an underage girl. (I'm 36 and I feel 26 would be too young for me). Also having been a boy l, like every other teenage boy dream abut having sex with a woman. 2. Another diff is a 14 year old girl can get pregnant. And ultimately it could destroy both lives. If both ages of blokes walked away it would have a much greater devastation to the 14 year old over the older woman

[Janenow]

Well that's OK, it's your opinion but the question was how would you react if it was a female friend. I didn't ask how you felt about female and males in this case. About the second point, if the older woman gets pregnant, I think the boys life will be hindered too because he will be forced to pay child support for a stranger kid from 18.

[HonestWeirdo]

It would effect the young boy too obviously but there is a hell of a difference. No comparison to parenting a child and just paying some money every month

[HonestWeirdo]

Maybe tell us both ages and if it was forced or consensual?

[Janenow]

But you also have to include the fact the boy will be distant from his child. That's worse to me than parenting. I personally think females who do it with much younger boys are worse than men who do it because they have more power over the boy.

[HonestWeirdo]

In my point no. 2 "both lives " was referring to mum and baby. I agree with your last statement. If you decide to tell us ages and if consensual or not. People can respond more directly as this is such a huge issue with many variables and is not apt for small posts

[Janenow]

If the baby would grow up without dad, it's All the adult womans fault. She is responsible here. She is at fault. I included all relevant details. It was a 33 and 13 year old.

[Janenow]

If the girl gets pregnant, the man can help her raise the kid or she can get an abortion. It's not a big deal

[HonestWeirdo]

Well he would be in jail cos you can't fool dna. I think you should do a my take so people can hear your view on the actual event

[Janenow]

Well if he gets out he can help her raise the kid.

[HonestWeirdo]

Well we're at an impasse it seems. Happy to comment if you post your opinions outright.

[Janenow]

I think it was OK because the teen didn't have any problems with it. But I think it was absolutely wrong from the man's side, if it was my kid I would call police at the time

[asshole_]

I'm not sure, I'll think about it though

Even though you ALREADY CHOSE MHO

WHICH IS WAYYYYY TOO FAST

[Jerre]

After that many years, I would have probably forgotten about it. If they just told me about it, I p robably would not say anything about it as it happened so long ago.

[Guardian45]

Sorry. I don't understand your Q.

[Janenow]

Imagine you met someone who had sex with a underage kid many years ago and the kid ended up being fine. What would you do do?

[Guardian45]

If knew someone who had sex with an underage kid many years ago, then I would stop talking/seeing them. I would not really be able to do much else! Especially if the child was not complaining!

[Janenow]

Right ok

[CharlieDMX]

Ignore it. If my friend had molested the other person, then I might act differently

[2ndTryatThis]

Honestly if it was that long ago and no one involved or immediate family took issue with it, it’s none of my business. Why risk causing trauma by stirring the pot. No one wins from that.

[Deku2009]

Ignore it unless the victim gets you involved in the case directly I wouldn’t worry

[tjbyrd39]

Im not smart enough to comment. Leaving that one alone