Do Some People Not Get The Difference Between "Discussing In A General Sense'" And "Getting Too Personal"?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Talking about sex in a general sense is different than when people try to take it too personal...
Example: (for those who don't get it)
General- 'I'll suck some dick"
Personal-"I'll suck your dick"
Just because someone freely discusses sex, doesn't mean they want to get too personal with strangers, sext, talk dirty, and all that...
Some men say women don't like, think, or talk about sex as much as they do...
Or maybe it's that when women do, some men treat them different, like they're easy or a slut... There's a difference between sexual and slut, and just because someone is comfortable in their sexuality... It isn't an invite for dirty dm's or dick pics from strangers

[Lliam]

So are you talking about the difference between a frank, honest, uninhibited and even funny discussion versus an invitation?

What an interesting question.

I would LOVE to know some uninhibited women to be able to joke with about sex where you react with "You did NOT just say that" and laugh your ass off. I picture giggling female BFFs doing that. I think people would truly have to be trusted BFFs to feel comfortable. But that's rare with mixed company.

Guys can talk about sex and even be outright pigs around other guys without fear of being misunderstood or giving offense. Girls can talk about sex with other girls with the confidence that the others can relate. And they don't have to worry about being judged or misunderstood. Sexual tension (lust and desire) doesn't inhibit the conversations of non-gender-mixed groups.

I'll admit that if a girl said "I suck dick", a lot of guys would immediately start looking at her and wondering if they could get her to suck their dick. The atmosphere in the room would change. I think that's a shame. I guess it depends on who is present.

For instance, when I was single, I would react differently than I do now that I am married and loyal to my wife. Now I would love to be able to talk and joke about sex where everyone is mentally mature enough to feel safe while being as graphic as they want.

I initially found GAG when I was searching for a place to ask questions and learn more about women's POV when it comes to everything about sex. It's probably the thing I like most about GAG. I think it's the anonymity that allows people to open up about things that they have to otherwise repress. I've even had the pleasure of getting into graphic conversations with women here in private messages. But it's not like I have any intention of hitting on them.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah you know I can joke about sex... Don't mean I want random dick pics or some guy saying he wants to drink his cum and wants me to watch... Or do I wanna rub one out together... Umm that's taking it to far tob me with strangers... Yeah my neighbor's soon went from hitting on me last summer to telling me it's been awhile since his dad "got any" lol yeah I know him so even tho he was so I should go to his dad's door in the dress I was wearing, we laughed and joked about it... There's a difference from that to constantly being dmed by people Don't know talking dirty, I don't sext with strangers

[TCredo]

Well I guess getting my dick sucked is not going to happen on this thread... lol... KIDDING KIDDING KIDDING... you do raise a good point from what I've noticed here. I do like reading the sex topics. And occasionally I might comment to a woman's post - stuff like "That's hot" - or "I like the same" etc...

But I have noticed other guys will get a bit direct with wanting the woman to do whatever she shared to/with them... It's kinda funny when you think about it... I mean let's say she replies "Sure"... so ok... then what lol... but I can also see how that type of personal request can deter women from posting things which is a shame because it is fun to read about other's experiences, thoughts, etc. and by no means should it be inferred that is a woman shares something that she is a "slut" or "easy" or whatever... so great post here Toots. Hope it gets read by lots of folks :)

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thank you... And yeah commenting it even playful bantering as people do I don't see a problem personally, but some take it too far...

[TCredo]

Agreed - asking for a phone number or other info is usually a step too far lol... keep it as playful bantering - well said :)

[TCredo]

Thanks Toots/GaG system for the MHO :)

[DizzyDesii]

Yea you’re right. But for me it gets personal when someone sees that im black and then they say stuff like Why Dont black girls have pink nipples/pussies too? Why Do black girls act ratchet? To me, its personal because theyre grouping black as a whole when thats not the case. Some do some dont

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Yeah that's bullshit... People are stupid... 🤷🏼‍♀️

[DizzyDesii]

I think they do it for a reaction. When i dont give them one, theybget mad and say, wow you must be mixed? Or you're not like other black people

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

People need to stop the judging by skin color 🙄🙄

[TheBootyChest]

So how does a guy get a girl to talk about sex in general, without her assuming he is going to make it personal?

Because I never want to make it personal. But I get the feeling if I ask them a question about something sexual they said in a post, that I am going to be misunderstood.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Depends what you mean... Cuz I mean just because I freely discuss sex doesn't mean I want to be asked if I wanna rub one out together, share nudes, or dirty sext talk with strangers...

[TheBootyChest]

I mean like if you post something about an experience you had once to a sexual question that was posted, is it rude or disrespectful for me to assume that it's okay to ask you more about it or other situations you have been in?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If people wanted people to know all the details, they'd post them in their post right?

[TheBootyChest]

So how does one know who to approach to have a conversation with? I may be naive and misinformed about a lot of things in life, but I truly am genuine in trying to learn about life and how to interact with people. And to not be shy to talk people (women) about different topics, even if it includes sex. So my apologies in advance for anything I may have said wrong.

[Jjpayne]

I've seen guys on posts do this all the time... I honestly don't get it... "Hey can you pm me?" I'm like dude seriously 😂

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Right 🤣🤣🤣

[ecfresh]

This is why so many women go anon on sex questions on GaG. They know from experience even answering in a general way is like inviting 40 horny guys to harass them. It’s a chicken and egg situation because not as many women open up sexually online due to guys directly pursuing them in DMs. If they guys realized the women can talk generally and not think those women are dtf in that moment then a lot more women would answer the sexual questions.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly! Hence this post... People shouldn't have to go ANON. Just these men when they complain women don't act sexual, they the ones ruining it not women

[Jaximus-Lion]

In every (sexuality) question! You read opinions and there has to be few that goes personal from the first 3 words they type. I do understand how it bothers you and others and it bothers me too, but not as much because not that many send me any PM but i do get a comment now and then. People will go all in because it's the internet , what you gonna do! Put them in internet prison kinda of mentality they have. So they go all foul and no regrets.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If people share their personal experiences that's fine... It's when cuz I answered a sex question people think they can talk dirty to YOU get so nasty with you that it becomes a problem... I don't dirty sex talk, rub one out, share nudes with strangers, not should it be assumed I do just for asking or answering a sex question.

[Jaximus-Lion]

Exactly ! Assuming that i will go down dirty just because i wrote some key words about sex. I never understood this and i have been using the internet since 2003. Sure ! I did search for porn or any sexual thing, but i didn't rub it in other people's faces because i felt like.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I hear you.. And yeah you've never done that, not to me anyways 🙂

[Kaneki05]

Them some people, can just be ignored cause well they have bricks for brains.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

👍🤣🤣🤣

[Dargil]

You've seen my posts. I get graphic and "visceral" about sexual topics without any "hey, baby". Once in a while, I get a response of "that's hot" only because my post is articulate enough to make the reader feel it, not because I'm trying to be hot. Standing off when I post encourages the reader to be open because they know I'm not a creep. I just love to talk about sex and "know things". And the mods have figured me out. I don't have any of my "how to's" or "how stuff works" posts deleted.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I agree, and that's hot is different then I'd stick my dick up your ass... Save that for someone you having sex with... Now I stuck my dick up sometimes ass, see the difference,? One's taking bit what you've done... The other someone saying what they wanna do to you, and I don't society that talk from strangers 🤷🏼‍♀️ you've seen my posts... I have no problem discussing sex... But that's not the same as personal dirty talking where they making it personal about you... If had a partner, then yeah he can dirty talk me, and then act it out 🙂

[Dargil]

Some posters think this is a dating site and they ruin it. What we do here, even the more raunchy ones, is still information, not flirting.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Exactly... You don't mean my posts too raunchy do you 🤔🤣🤣🤣

[Dargil]

No, because you are never vulgar. Raunchy is good. Double standard on this. Girls can get away with it but guys come across creepy.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Not always... Ok sometimes 😅😅

[0112358]

Most people understand the difference. They also know that while most general talks don’t go specific, specific talks often start general. So they might keep trying.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If someone says they're not interested in that why keep trying? I respect people for who they are, don't care what antics they get up to over there internet. Not my business. Until they try push that on me. If people respect for the way they are, they should show same for the way you are. Yet I've had some guys on here say women are never honest. Really, I am.. But then hear what I'm saying. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Sorry for the rant lol

[0112358]

I don’t know. I think they’re desperate so keep going with the best prospect they have which seems to be you.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Well they'd be wrong there...

[Gwenhwyfar]

Totally agree

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Thanks!

[blutwolfe]

This is where everyone's different, like someone was PMing me earlier and I feel like I got personal about things, I mean not sexual at all but just sometimes you gotta put yourself out there it sometimes makes you feel better talking about stuff

I'm also a drunk so I'm not sure if that factors into it, I can talk a woman's ear off lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

If someone wants to talk to me, ask advice about their personal situation... That's not the same as a stranger asking if you wanna rub one out together or share nudes or try send you dick pics even when you've clearly stated you ain't down with that.. and the more it happens, the more some women just gonna stop even asking or answering those kinds of questions...

[blutwolfe]

So basically guys who want sex only? Ya no surprise you have that problem and avoid them

[humanearth]

Me I mixed the two up, sometimes I really start talking and shit. Then a lot of personal shit just happens to come up.

So for me it comes from feeling comfortable to talking to that person.

So I think I do as sign to say, hey I trust you with my personal shit.

I might be completely wrong and feeding lies to myself and don't know what the fuck I'm talking about or maybe I do. Aaagggg who the fuck knows.

I'm just going to shut up now, I'm starting to sound stupid

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No your not lol sand I don't mean people can't say personal things about themselves or their experiences if they choose to share... It's more getting too comfortable talking sexual to YOU,.. Whereas I save the personal sex talk, dirty talk with someone I'm sexually involved with...

[humanearth]

Oh talking sexually, well thats gets uncomfortable for me. Lets say you started talking that way to me. I would most likely try to avoid you, till you got your head out of ass and apologized for being stupid

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Oh darn 😅😅🤣 just kidding lmao

[humanearth]

What you have a sock that needs Darning

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🤣🤣🤣 funny

[magiusX26]

i get random PMs from women like that too. asking how i would do this or that sexually. even after i have repeatedly stated i quit cybering (what people now call sexting) years ago. both to them specifically and i mention that fact publicly (like this opinion).

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Same here... But people don't listen...

[magiusX26]

agreed. mind a pm bbb?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

As long as you ain't tryna dirty talk 🤣🤣

[magiusX26]

just something about 1 of them without putting them on blast

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Okay 🙂

[Massageman]

If you are discussing something in a "Generic sense" (the term I usually use for "general sense"), then just stay focused in that direction. If someone starts getting personal, gently remind them that you were having a generic discussion, not a personal one. If they don't like that, convo is finito!

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Good advice.

[worldscolide]

Man if i didn't know the difference, then that time i disagreed with you would have turned bad.. fuck that i dont want to lose friends because of disagreement.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

People disagree... At least some people keep it respectable 🤗🤗

[loveslongnails]

"Some people" don't get ANYTHING at all... lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lol guess not

[monkeynutts]

Yeah, but some guys like to know a girl is squirming, it's sometimes funny to be inappropriate.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

No it's not funny it's borderline harassment

[COMMODOREII]

Amen sister!!! 😎

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

🙂 thanks brother🤗

[brittany155]

most people don't get the Difference lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That's true

[GreenGold1992]

Some people can be really dense

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Dense? Or Disrespectful? Lol

[GreenGold1992]

Yeah you're not, disrespectful, but too dense to know the difference lol

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Lol right...

[GreenGold1992]

I meant to say *right instead of not, my bad.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

That's okay lol my phone does that all the time, or I do and blame the phone lol

[HonestWeirdo]

I think cos blokes would be only too happy if a lady sent them nude pics that they think woman are the same and would enjoy seeing their dick. Hopefully it's just the younger ones who have yet to grow up or understand that , like you say, talking about sex isn't an invitation for sex.
I think every time a woman gets sent an unwanted dick pic they should reply by saying how small it is. That would surely prevent a lot of blokes doing it anymore. Cos it would damage their ego

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

They can save the dirty talk too 🙄 I'm not no prude, just I'm only getting"that" personal with someone I'm getting 'that' personal with 🙂🙂

[HonestWeirdo]

Totally agree with you there too. I guess you ladies get bombarded by msgs non stop?

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I only pay attention half the time unless it's someone I've interacted with on threads... But a hey or a hi from someone I've never interacted with on any post... Well I've learned not to respond to those 🤷🏼‍♀️

[OpenNudist]

This is just my opinion on religion in and of itself. You'll hate me for saying this. Largely it has become nothing more than a money making scheme. Who on God's earth needs a 7 million dollar Lear Jet? Devote 7 million dollars in education and food and funding to needy families in the community, the hell with your lear jet