I'm always thinking about a guy I used to have sex with while I'm having sex with my boyfriend. Do you think that's wrong?

Question

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

LOL yes , that is just wrong in so many levels , but don’t feel bad , most girls hold onto their exes like they were these prized possessions, but to be honest that should be your answer not to have sex with these guys if you are still fantasizing about your ex , you aren’t being fulfilled , you need to find someone that makes you not fantasize about your ex , once you find that guy , try to keep him , also put that guy your having sex with in your shoes , how would you feel if he was picturing you being another girl? So you’re best to not sleep with these guys anymore and misleading them and toying with their hearts for your selfish pleasures, move on and find someone that fulfills you and makes you not think about your ex , an ex is an ex for a reason , meaning if they really loved and cared about you they wouldn’t be your ex period.

ChurchOfSteel · Accepted Answer

I think it means you're missing something with your boyfriend. I'd talk to him. If you aren't pleased enough, there may be something he can do. Only if you tell him.

I also think women have an innate separation between men they love to fuck, and men they want to be with in a relationship. They are somewhat mutually exclusive. The raw, animalistic, dominating men tend to be less reliable; and, the reliable men tend to be less animalistic, raw, and dominating.

Of course, everyone is different.

I'd say it's time to have a talk with your boyfriend.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's necessarily wrong, unless you're actively indulging this behaviour. If it's involuntary, that's more a sign I think that there's some sort of processing you still need to do about that other guy.

Do your work on processing it and be fully present with your boyfriend. That's why you're together, isn't it? To fully enjoy each other's company?

Kimgary · Accepted Answer

That’s very wrong, I think it’s better to just go to the guy than disrespecting your boyfriend. It’s obvious your mind is still with the guy and your boyfriend’a presence doesn’t seem to quench your thirst. You either do that or leave your man at least respect him

SuzuBrooke · Answer

It means you aren't over that person... Which isn't a healthy to a relationship. If your comparing that makes it worse. But it's true, nobody can stop our thoughts and feelings or so-called "desires". Just as long as you like your boyfriend and not the one you had before I think you'll be fine... Key word... Think. I don't know. And this is my opinion.

Also I don't know hardly any of the details just like the rest of the people here so don't take our word for it. Go with what you think based on certain events.

AustinMan · Answer

Why do you do that? Was the ex a better lover or what?

NamerOfStars · Answer

No, but it doesn't say anything good about the relationship. If there's something you want your boyfriend to do or do differently, tell him.

websterII · Answer

might not be.. might be.. where is your heart belong? if you could be in bed with anyone.. who would it be with? once you answer that you can prob figure out if it's right or wrong. if you thinking about something gets me the benefits.. i'm not sure i care what your thinking about. but again that all matters where your heart is. should you tell him? depends if it would hurt his self esteem.. cus if he can't love himself he can't love anyone. That would come back to bite you hard. if that guy is not a threat to your relationship.. then i dont see anything wrong or any need to volunteer info.

katiesmuff · Answer

I wouldn't think that to be anything unusual from the Anonymous 'TROLL world!

OlderAndWiser · Answer

That's okay if you don't mind him fantasizing about fucking his ex while he is inside you.

Flower7 · Answer

Yes, that is wrong and a sign that maybe you're not with the right person for you, if he's not able to hold your attention, even during sex.

MissDawn7961 · Answer

since your a whore anyway , why not get all your retarded men in bed with you and have a sex orgy anyway !

HeyMikeyLikesIt · Answer

It just means you got the wrong dick in ya

Jess1812 · Answer

Focus on the guy in front of you

BlueScorpio · Answer

Not good, not good. You're body is one place, but your heart is at another. I'm pretty sure most women would not like the idea of their man thinking of another woman during the do.

TonyV · Answer

It's not ideal, but it's not cheating either soooo I don't know

modelUN242 · Answer

This is not good, your boyfriend would feel hurt if he knew. Clear him from your mind and delete any trace of him from your phone and mind. Are you closing your eyes while you guys are doing it?

Dalisay · Answer

I used to do it all the time. Always felt guilty.

cntrytbm · Answer

I used to do that with my wife. Definitely wrong. It may be a good sign that your not in the right place with him or with yourself. It may be a conversation you need to have with him.

AndyOh · Answer

A bit... I am surprised you have not blurted out his name as you were having a major orgasm.. "Oh god John, I am cumming... I mean Frank." Best to let the old guy go...

Mikelaughs · Answer

It's not something you can control. We cannot stop our thoughts, as well as desires. And, its very convenient that they have the same name!;) How long have you been together with the new guy?

pepperhicks · Answer

Once in awhile it is natural to think of a former partner when you are with your current partner. There are things in common between them that attract you. However, if you are "always" thinking about a past partner during sex, don't think of it as "wrong" as much as an opportunity to look at what the other guy was doing for you that this one is not.

EmmaMary · Answer

That's definitely not a good start to forming a relationship.

RydiaMagnifique · Answer

I've done it. Not intentionally tho. My fiance was fingering me and massaging my breasts, and my old crush popped into my head as I was approaching orgasm. I caught myself and started focusing on the actual orgasm, instead.