In terms of a straight heterosexual relationship, why are girls minds on the romantic aspects while guys minds are more on sex?

Question

ROMANCE: A feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.

EmoKate97 · Accepted Answer

l like to think that i have a good understanding when it comes to men. Evolutionary, it makes sense for men to want to spread their genes. Women also have to be picky when choosing a guy since pregnancy is a big deal. That's all there is too it honestly, we want a man that will be there with us to take care of our potential family, we're more frailer then men and there's a bit of an instinctive need we feel to have a man that'll protect us, and care about love us and be loyal to us and not other women (because that'll mean a man will spend less time / resources with other women) and even girls who don't want families still ideally want a man that's open to the idea of raising a family.

Meanwhile, men are way more comfortable just hitting it and quitting it. And if a guy accidentally gets a girl pregnant he can absolutely just live the rest of his life not paying too much mind to it, even laughing it out with other guys about "YEAA I GOT A KID I DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM THO HAHA" which is literal toxic masculinity that feminist need to bring up more since its such a shitty thing to do to a women. Granted its only a small percentage of men, i has a big effcent on society and hinters those women, sometimes even tramatizes them (abortions) and makes them feel insecure about all future relationships as well as make them less desirable because straight out, no sugarcoating it, men would rather not raise another man's kids.

Also, for the record gay (men) tend to be promiscuous then lesbian (women) who tent to focus on romantic aspects as well.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Why can't a woman's mind be on both 🤔🤔 Not wanting to jump in the sac on day one more about safety then just romance for me... But yeah, the more comfortable I am, the more I know I can trust someone, the more comfortable I'll sexually be with that person.. And sometimes that takes time... But worth the wait 😉

AustinMan · Answer

It's mammalian instinct. She has a lot more skin in the game such as if she gets pregnant, she's on the hook for the baby so she wants a level of emotional connection.

Lliam · Answer

Not sure. It's probably true that girls minds generally tend toward the romantic aspects while guys minds are more on sex.

I'll venture some guesses why.
For guys, the act of sex is like plundering. When viewed objectively, that's what the act looks like. Men are similar to predators and women are similar to prey. Their bodies invade a woman's. They are bigger and stronger. They grip a woman, position her, use her.

They are also more visual because they have a good vantage while fucking a woman. Compared to women, their eyes have much, much more to drink in during sex. A lot of the eroticism for men is visual.

All that being said, when a man slips a woman on and fucks her while she responds with pleasure and eagerly fucks back, a bonding connection that feels like romance can definitely occur.

As for women. They have to give themselves up in what has the visual and psychological appearance of rolling over to present their soft underbelly in a display of submission to an alpha. They are completely vulnerable. They open their bodies to be used, penetrated and plundered, as if being feasted upon. In order to submit willingly, they have to feel trust and connection.

Sex for them is like embracing a man between their legs and inside their body in a way that feels more intimate than the act of impaling.

Sex is less visual to a women. Her experience is turned more inward. She is focused more on the sensations. When she opens her legs and, especially when she bends over, she doesn't have a view of her own vagina, so she waits compliantly in anticipation. She doesn't see the penis enter her, she reacts to the sensation.

Women accept the man's semen, either in their mouths or vaginas. That, too, is like a connection. They internalize him and, in a way, he becomes part of them.

So I guess it makes sense that women's experience feels more like romance/connection, physical and emotional bonding. It makes sense that women would project their thoughts and experiences onto their lovers. Not to say that men can't or don't feel romance or connection with their lovers. But it may explain why women, more so than men, tend to be affected by emotions like trust and intimacy.

pajamasam · Answer

I think all of these details factor in somehow in some shape or form. For me I feel like sex and romance are not separate, I feel sex is a part of romance. Like a milestone in the relationship. Its a milestone I happen to enjoy which is why my mind wanders there a lot. There are plenty of other things about relatio ships that are not sex related that I enjoy as well. And I feel women think about sex more than they let on, its just that for them sex is not a physical and visual exercise its a connection, a bond, a symbol or badge of trust that they feel they want to give when the time is right. Where men see it as a visual and physical event.

Poppykate · Answer

I have found that men will say the most romantic things before, during and after sex. Sex to them is romantic. I think that women have it wrong when it comes to romance. We think that romantic is flowers, chocolates, gifts and expensive dinners. Romance is about closeness, touching ( both physically and emotionally).

ZackBan · Answer

I believe it's less about "wiring" and more about a supply to demand relation.

After all it's not a general rule many do break it and they are the exceptions that society hasn't shaped into the standard.

So most women can get as much sex as they want how often they want. All they gotta do is go out and someone will apprach them and make the offer. Should they feel the need for exercise they might take it.
So sex for women is easily attainable and therefore not so much desired.
Love however that doesn't come as easily therefore they want it more. The reason for that is treated on the men's side.

For men. They are known to fall in love much faster. And so you can bet any guy who's over 20 has fallen in love with many girls and not even bothered to talk to half of them. They become desynthesize to the idea of love because all it brings is heartache.
As for sex men have it the hard way, they often don't get handed sex just for dressing the part and actually have to do a lot of work to land a night in the sack and so they crave it more. They feel like if they're gonna invest time and commitment to a relationship they have to at least get the thing that they rarely get when single.

modelUN242 · Answer

Interesting question.

Jjpayne · Answer

I think girls are more about the details while guys are more about the simple action without thinking of the details. But this idea, I think is totally a biology thing

A_Bell · Answer

I have never been too romantic. When I am with a guy I think about sex and pbysical contact a lot and really don't care about getting flowers or him remembering our 6 month anniversary. I know my fellow women are into that, but it has never been a primary motivation for me.

Hermes-Paris · Answer

Well what most women don't know about men is that the prostrate is actually the second and most active brain in a man. And since it is located just next door to the wonder wand that is what we act upon. The other brain is there just for things like fishing, drinking, analyzing football and contemplating pretty sunsets.

Finchie40 · Answer

Cuz girls are hard to please , they watch to many Damn love story movies and feel that’s how they should be treated not realizing that shit is scripted A guy wants sex because he feels that’s his way of letting her know that he loves her and to be close to her or that their relationship is still on good terms , Girls tend to nag and Bitch constantly at the little things, their to do list is through the roof where a guy is more content and happy that he has a beautiful girl and doesn’t really need the to do list for him to be turned on all she has to do is say meet me in bed and he is there , but for a girl to get there , every thing on her
To do list needs to be completed or he is in the doghouse , So sex is the easiest thing a guy can do to show his girl he loves her and stop her from bitching lol And yes it feels good as hell. So if girls stop nagging and bitching and give themselves to their man , he won’t have any problem doing the to do list after she rocks his world lol

Dragonstarterplus · Answer

Because for the guy romance isn't "mysterious" because he's the one creating it. He does something and it creates an effect. he is typically the active force that puts things in motion and she is the passive force that waits for things to happen

Samoht_Sirrom1 · Answer

I feel like that's a fairly loaded question... lol First you expect a guy to know why a woman's mind is on romance and second for him to explain why his probably isn't. That said I'll try to answer to the best of my understanding.
Women tend to want to get close to a male to see if he is able to make a deeper connection then just a physical one, since a deeper connection (emotional and psychological) will mean he's more likely to stay for the long haul and if needed help take care of her and raise offspring. While a male is normally caught up in the moment (damn this feels good, I don't want it to stop) maybe even (damn I hope I knock her up so I'll have a kid) personally I can never see myself being sexual with anyone until I've known them for awhile, they would have to be single and in no other type of relationship and have shown me that they truly care about me (I guess in my way I'm a romantic)

thecharmander21 · Answer

Yeah I can see how girls operate in that they want to feel protected which is a barrier that a guy just doesn't really have. With that said the only barrier I have is if a girl doesn't have that barrier then that raises questions for me. q

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I don't agree with the premise implicit within this question. Women need sex just as men need romance, we just have a different emotional vocabulary for expressing these needs.

worldscolide · Answer

Ha went with all of the above.

Desconhecida · Answer

I think women tend to connect sex with love. I won't lie, having sex with feelings is way much better.

Grond21 · Answer

I don't think they're exactly incompatible. A woman can be highly focused on sex. But I think the difference is that she often views sex as part of that romantic relationship. Whereas for a man, they start out separately and only become part of the same thing once he is in a committed relationship.

It's not a universal rule however. some guys are much more focused on the romance and some girls much more on the sex. Personally, I want a girl who is focused on the romance first, and then once we are committed to each other sex becomes a integral part of the whole romantic relationship

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Depends on people, but men consider sex as a form of romance bc men are focused or results, women are focused on process structure and order

Nalix · Answer

Male and female sex drives are different, but they're both very strong. Male sex drive is clearly more geared toward short term success, while women do have a sex drive where everything needs to line up in order to feel right, and they're naturally more picky, women also get "baby hungry" which is something that I think men simply do not experience, even guys who like kids.

loveslongnails · Answer

Because guys are guys, and girls are girls. This is something you know all too well.

In terms of a straight heterosexual relationship, why are girls minds on the romantic aspects while guys minds are more on sex?

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